He kisses me gently. It’s a sweet kiss, one meant to comfort and assure me—and it works.
My phone rings and I pick it up. I notice I never shut the Instagram app, so I swipe that out before I answer the call
Caroline.
And just like that, the slope gives way and everything is sliding downhill in a swell of white.
“Alana!” Her voice is nearly a shout, definitely panicked. “You left your camera filming live on Instagram. Your whole conversation just now, and the kiss you shared with that dark-haired, definitely-not-Rex man went through to all your followers.”
I fall backward onto a barstool. Stevens’ face is etched with concern.
I did this. It was bound to happen, but I was the trigger.
“Stay put. Don’t do a thing. Hang up your phone. Stay off social media. Only take calls from me and your mother and Brigitte. I’ll be in touch.” Caroline pauses. “And breathe.”
I stare across the kitchen, numbly trying to make sense of where we go from here. I’ve got nothing. The thought of packing everything essential and stealing Stevens away to Fiji or Lake Como flashes through my mind. I could manage to pulloff an escape. We could be on a plane in a few hours. But then what? We’ll have to face this someday. Like he said before. It’s part of the whole package.
Brigitte calls next.
“What is going on? Your mom isn’t answering my calls yet. They go straight to voicemail. I’ll be hearing from her, though. You can be sure I will. All I know is my feed is blowing up with posts that have links to the major gossip sites. We’ve got headlines like: ‘Alana Graves: Cucumber Fanatic,’ and ‘Sea Cucumbers. Who knew?’ There’s one, ‘Doing a Deep Dive on Alana’s New Love Interest.’ I thought that was a clever play on words, actually. And then we’ve got the question I’ve been asking for weeks summed up in this title, ‘Do Biologists Have More Fun?’ Talk to me, Alana. What happened?”
I fill Brigitte in on what I know from the Instagram post about Stevens coming up to my apartment to the huge mess I created by accidentally bumping the live video option on my phone and leaving it on while Stevens tried to cheer me up.
My other line rings through. Stevens is sitting next to me. I haven’t even had a chance to directly tell him all that’s going on, but he heard my explanation to Brigitte, so he knows. His hand is over mine on the countertop and his face is as placid as ever. He’s naive, unscathed for now. But that’s all about to change.
“Bridge, my other line is ringing. It’s Caroline. I’ll call you back.”
“Whatever you need, I’m here. You’ll get through this. No. We’ll get through this. You’re never alone in these disasters. And they do blow over. Hang in there, babe.”
I hang up with Brigitte and take Caroline’s call, holding eye contact with Stevens the whole time. If I were Rose, I’d make space on my driftwood for Jack. No. I’d give Jack my driftwood. Someone’s got to drown here. I won’t let it be him.
“Hey, Caroline.”
“Okay, give me the whole story. Who is this man? Obviously you’re seeing someone. I need everything. You should have keptme in the loop. You don’t start a relationship and not let me know. I can spin this. I can’t get ahead of it. But we can turn it around, I hope. You are in a relationship, yes? This isn’t a fling or some weekend of fun with a biologist, am I right?”
“He’s my boyfriend.” I stare at Stevens as I say the words and he smiles a broad, reassuring smile.
He quietly mouths the words, “I’ve got you.”
I smile back at him. He’s got me. I know he does. And I’ll never be able to thank him enough for his willingness to walk through fire for me.
Sometimes love means going the distance for another person. But sometimes it means taking the bullet. Stevens may think he can weather the upcoming storm, but he’s never been through anything like what’s about to come our way. And it won’t be merely a passing storm. Once he enters the public eye, he will never have the option of exiting it again.
I care too much about him to let him endure this for me.
If it were just one wave of paparazzi and all the ensuing rumors, I’d possibly take him up on his incredible offer. But this is only the tip of the iceberg. We’ll hit massive impact time and again until what we have no longer resembles the simple, pure relationship we started to build. The media will have their way. They’ll come at us relentlessly from now on once they know about him. I can’t ask him to endure all that for me. Even if he thinks he’s willing. If he knew the magnitude of what he’s offering, he might not be so quick to step up and declare his loyalty.
Caroline’s still talking. “I need to get Rex on board. And we have to act quickly. We’re going to do a photoshoot with the two of you. And then some shots with the two men. They’re friends. Rex loves this guy for you. That’s the angle. You and Rex tried, but you realized you only have a strong friendship. Rex met your biologist and he saw the chemistry. Hey! That’s not bad. Biology. Chemistry. I like it. Okay. That’s the spin.”
Rex actually does like Stevens for me. That’s not publicity. It’s reality.
“I don’t want to drag Stevens further into this mess.”
Stevens shakes his head at the same time Caroline says, “Alana, baby. You don’t have a choice. It’s either that or you make a bigger show of being together with Rex. You need to embrace this relationship or reject it. You can’t stand still. That’s never an option. The old sayings, ‘It will pass,’ and ‘The public will lose interest,’ are myths. The public may move on, but they never forget.
“And a mystery only provides everyone a blank canvas. The media and your fans—and your haters—will all go wild filling in the blanks unless we fill them in for them. So, take your time.”
She pauses. “And bytake your time, I mean you have two hours to decide. One is better. Yes. One hour. It’s Rex or this biologist. We’re either saying the biologist was hired to run lines for a script you're considering. He’s an employee providing a service, and the script reading accidentally was filmed when you bumped your phone. Then you declare that you are madly in love with Rex and still pursuing a reunification with him. The other option is to film a publicity shoot in the next twenty-four hours—preferably tomorrow—during which you disclose your secret boyfriend to the world. Take your time. One hour.”