Page 52 of Reel Love

The screen goes dead on her end for a minute. Then she comes back.So, I’m not sure I can take many more guesses at this point. You’re dangerous. I may have to wear a bib, or hire someone to come steam clean if we keep this up.

Alright. My final guess.I smile as I type.You teach indigenous tribes TikTok dances. Your official title is Ambassador of Funk and Groove. You roam the earth spreading the viral trends to unreachedpeople groups. You’re out there on a mission until every person knows how to dance the Toosie Slide and the Whoa.

Oh. My. Gosh …

The cursor just blinks.Then three dots.

You … guessed it!

I knew it!I’m laughing. I hope she is.

I couldn’t breathe through my laughter for a minute. I wish you could hear how hard you had me laughing.

I hesitate, but then I type.Me too.

It seems like I’m simply agreeing, but this urge to hear her laugh feels strong enough to spur me into investigating what it would take to travel to the South Pacific for a quick visit.

Where did you learn about the Toosie Slide and the Whoa? she asks.

Maybe I’m a traveling TikTok instructor too. It’s destiny that we met.

She doesn’t respond to my destiny comment, but she types:I’m getting T-shirts and merch with that title: Ambassador of Funk and Groove. It might not have been mine before, but I’m claiming it now. And, after all the effort you obviously put into those guesses, and to spare you the insomnia, I’ll have mercy on you.

There’s a long pause as if she’s deliberating. I’m seriously curious why she’s so hesitant to simply tell me what she does for a living. It’s not like I’ll actually be booking a flight to the Caribbean or Bora Bora to meet her once I hear her profession. That would be fruitless. Our situation is strictly online. I’m honestly a little disappointed.

I’m going to tell you,she writes by way of a preface.I …

There’s another pause.

The suspense is excruciating.

Why? Why do I care so much? It’s not as if we’re going to meet—ever.

Finally, she writes,I’m in theater.

Theater? Like doing plays? Like acting on stage? Or directing?Or are you a stage hand? A gaffer? (I don’t know what that is. I just heard the term. Or is that in film? Anyway, are you a gaffer?)

Something like that.

Something like being in plays or directing? Or something like a gaffer—which I just looked up? They run the lighting and electricity on a television or movie set, in case you didn’t know. Great word to keep handy if you have a G and two Fs.

We’ve abandoned the game and are just chatting for now.

My job is something in the wide world of theater. And that’s all I’m giving you for now.

I’ve always wondered if working in theater makes enough to live on. No offense.

I get by.

She lays down I-V and then S to build HIVES off the H in BACCHIC and the E in AQUEOUS.

She’s not typing anything else in the chat. Maybe I offended her. I don’t want her to be embarrassed if she doesn’t make a lot of money doing whatever it is she does in theater. I truly was curious.

Just to be sure, I apologize.Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up your salary. As long as you’re doing something you love and it pays, that’s all that matters. Right?

Right. Definitely.So, turnabout’s fair play. What do you do, Wordivore?

I stare at the screen. Her answer ofsomething in the wide world of theaterwas obviously not a full disclosure, so I’ll meet her with the same level of revelation. It’s not that I don’t want her to know I’m a Marine Biologist. I just want to hold my cards close so I have bargaining chips too. If she learns all about me, I’ll have no enticing secrets to barter when I want to learn more about her.

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