Page 138 of Reel Love

Oddly, I feel for her.

“Mother?” I wait to see if I’ll actually get a turn this time.

“Yes?”

“I love him.”

“Oh, Alana. Please. Don’t start in with that. Love is something that comes and goes. It’s a trite emotion driven by so many variables. I mean, I love my manicurist. And Jobert. Goodness knows I love Jobert. And your father, of course. He’s been good to me. And I love you, darling. But that’s different. You’re my child. But honestly, this romantic notion of having one soulmate who sets your stomach swirling and your nerve endings dancing and your heart rate spiking. The one? The one you wake thinking of, who invades your thoughts throughout the day? The one you’d sacrifice everything to have a life with? That’s an emotion, Alana. And emotions come. Emotions go. They are more fickle than the weather. You do not build a life on love. You build it on hard work and strategy. Alliances? Yes. Love? Hardly.”

I don’t even know what to say—not in response to my mother’s cynical view of life. I knew that’s what she thought. Of course, I did. Hearing her spell it out makes it all so real.

Mother blows out an exasperated breath.

“Alana. I love your heart. You always had such a soft heart. And I’m glad you found someone who makes you feel all that. Unfortunately, he can’t be anything but a fond memory and a sweet distraction. He was that. And you can always remember the fact that a fan got close enough to you to show you affection in person. But that’s all this can be. You simply cannot afford the fallout of a relationship with some Gilligan boat captain who goes around in fish costumes at galas and talks about slimysea creatures breathing through their … My word. It’s over, dear. That’s all you need to know. Your father and I have to step in on this one for your sake. And we are.”

“I need to go. I’ll handle everything. I don’t want you and Dad getting involved.”

She won’t see what she won’t see. At least her call did me one favor. It clarified my decision. I know what I’m going to do.

“We’ll be sending a car and arranging a boat taxi for you, Alana.”

“Don’t bother.”

“Alana. Be reasonable.”

“I’ve been reasonable. I think I’ve practiced being reasonable since I started taking ballet, tap and jazz at three years old … and studying Spanish that same year. I’m pretty sure I’ve done my time being reasonable.”

“Alana!”

My mother is saying more, but I interrupt her, despite the fact that I never override her in anything. It’s high time I interrupted my mother.

“Goodbye, Mother. I’ll be in touch. I have a call to make tomypublicist. Caroline does work for me, after all.”

I hang up.

I. Just. Hung. Up. On. My. Mother.

I have the urge to call Brigitte so she can do a happy dance. Later. I’ll do that later. Besides, Brigitte will try to change my mind. She’ll tell me there are ways around things. Her hope springs eternal. She may be close to my life, but she does not live it. Only I know the real impact going public will be to Stevens. And I love him too much to make him go through that for me.

My phone pings with a text.

Stevens:The paparazzi were all around the boat when my tour arrived. I didn’t say anything. Waiting on your instructions. I’m on the water now. Just me and the guests on my tour. Also, I’m thinking I need to tell my mother andthe rest of my family about our relationship since news is spreading. I want them to hear about us from me, not some skewed article or post.

I’m about to answer when another text comes in.

Stevens:Please don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Do what you have to do. Just let me know what you need from me.

All I can think is, it’s my mother’s loss not getting to know this man.

Alana:You’re amazing. I hope you know that. I’ll get back to you with details.

Stevens:Anything for you, Graves.

Alana:Thank you. I’ll keep you posted.

I almost reflexively type,I love you.Those are three words I’ve never said to a man. I’ve said them to my mother, my father, and Brigitte. I’ve jokingly said them to Tank to make him squirm. I may never tell Stevens my true feelings for him, but my actions will convey my devotion.

I’d rather lose him than harm him.

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