Page 135 of Reel Love

Yep. Titanic. Stevens is the guy lulling everyone into a state of calm when an iceberg is about to hit the ship. But I can’t help but dance to his tune. He’s just that soothing, that grounding. He makes me forget all about the outside world and the damage they could do.

We walk into the living room to grab the Scrabble board, and like the brilliant, caring man he is, Stevens starts his attempt at distracting me from our reality.

“Ask me what my favorite marine animal is.”

“The sea hare.”

I make a futile effort at resisting his charm.

One foot is here with him, the other is in Hollywood, feeling the avalanche about to fall all around us. He has no idea. He can be cavalier because he hasn’t tried to survive an unnatural disaster of public attack and media smears. It starts with the smallest snowball innocently rolling downhill, and somehow that leads to a cataclysmic release of all the snow on the mountain. You could find yourself buried in the devastation in a matter of minutes. That’s how fast gossip and rumors grow and spread. I want him to take shelter, and he’s grabbing a sled and asking me to hop on for a joy ride.

“Not the sea hare,” he smiles calmly. “Guess again, or just ask me.”

I look over at him, he’s grinning boyishly. Okay. Okay. One last sled ride before the hill collapses.

“Okay. Tell me.” I pull the Scrabble board out of the cabinet and stand.

Rain starts to fall outside. A summer squall.

“Looks like we’re playing inside,” I say.

Stevens grabs the board and walks into the kitchen. He sets the game up on the island and takes a stool.

“Would you rather talk about something more interesting?” he asks.

“Nope. Now that you brought it up, I want to know.”

“It’s the sea cucumber.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. They are scavengers that feed on small food items in the benthic zone. That’s the seafloor to you non-science-y people.” He winks. “They also eat plankton, algae, aquatic invertebrates, and waste particles in the water column. They eat with tube feet that surround their mouths. And they can range in size from less than an inch to over six feet.”

“Six feet! That’s quite a cucumber.”

“It’s the giant red.” He smiles at me like it’s an inside joke we’re sharing.

As much as I want to resist him, I feel my resolve crack. He’s soothing the sting of Caroline’s call with his presence and the ease between us.

“Of course it is.” I chuckle.

“I find it fascinating how they eat with their feet and breathe by dilating their anal sphincter to suck water into their rectum, where specialized structures called respiratory trees, or butt lungs, extract oxygen.”

“So, they basically breathe through their butt?” I cover my mouth and look away, but I can’t control the laugh that bubbles up.

Stevens looks at me seriously for a beat and then he starts laughing. “There she is.”

“Why are you so hot right now?” He purposely picked thatanimal to talk about so I would laugh in the face of the media avalanche, and I love him for it.

“You think I’m hot, while I’m telling you about an animal who breathes through his hindquarters?” He gives me a purposely smoldering look.

This whole tactic is working very well. It’s the best sled ride of my life and I never want to get off.

“You are.” I place my hand over his. “Very. I’m pretty sure you could read me something from a high school biology textbook and I’d find you irresistible.”

“Is that right? I’ll have to dig up one of my old textbooks for our next date.”

I walk around the corner of the island and cup his face. “Thank you for making me laugh.”

---