Page 79 of Resorting to Romance

I don’t meet his eyes. Instead mine are trained on the edge of the beach toward the direction where Mila and Noah will be coming.

“You know, it’s been hard for you and me to get any time alone since Mavs and I got back. I never even heard the story of how you got Mila to change from herno menstatus to being willing to give you two a chance. What happened there? One day you’re single and I’m off to Hawaii and Portugal for two weeks, and the next, I’m getting a FaceTime that you’re dating someone. And when we got back, you two are like an old married couple—inseparable, intertwined, fully devoted to a relationship. I’m not saying it’s fast. You’ve known one another for years. It’s just the transition made my head spin.” He pauses. “In a good way. A really good way. Just … it was such a one-eighty.”

“It was. I guess … when you know someone as long as Mila and I have, the leap from friends to more happens pretty quickly. And, at our age, we’ve already dated and know what we want and what we don’t. There’s not a lot of need for the kinds of dates that let you know if you’re interested or compatible.”

My gut twists. I’m not exactly lying to Bodhi. The invisible leap in my heart from friends to more gave me whiplash too, but it feels so right. Then again, I’m totally lying to him. And I want to come clean. But not here. Not during this event when we’re all out in the open and I’m expecting Mila and Noah to show up any minute. Not on the very day she told Brad he could casually show up and she’d introduce him to their son.

“Makes sense,” Bodhi says. “So, what did you say to her? How did you get her to change her stance? Tell me your moves, oh, great one!” He laughs and nudges me lightly with his elbow.

I take a deep breath. Like it or not, today may be the day I let the cat out of the bag with Bodhi. Then what? How can I ask him to keep our secret from my sister? It’s not that I don’t want her to know we’re faking. I’d honestly rather if she did know. It’s just … the more people I tell the truth to, the more precarious our secret will be. So far, Chloe is the only one who knows, and she’s been surprisingly hush-hush.

I’m about to open my mouth to tell Bodhi everything when I see them—Noah and Mila getting out of the golf cart she keeps at the inn and walking across the sand toward me. My eyes lock on hers and I walk away from Bodhi without even saying another word.

“Yeah. Go get your girl!” he shouts after me, chuckling. “Don’t mind me. Just walk on. I see how it is!”

“Sorry! We’ll talk later!” I shout back to him.

I trot across the sand in a slow run toward Mila and Noah, waves of relief washing over me the closer we get to one another. I’m so far underwater for her I might drown. And for Noah. That’s the thing. It’s not just Mila. It’s that boy. He’s always been ohana to me, but since Mila and I have been faking, my feelings for Noah have grown deeper roots too. I want to lead him, tolaugh with him, to protect him, to be there for him. I want to watch him grow from a boy into a man—to pour the wisdom into him that my father gave me. I’m not his dad, but I feel something akin to fatherly feelings for Noah. This whole situation is like a vine, tangling and gripping, and growing faster than I can keep up with it.

“Unko!” Noah runs at me. “Can we surf today? Mom said it’s up to you.”

I look up from where Noah has run at me and wrapped his arms around my waist to Mila who has on a floral sundress and sunglasses, her beach bag over her shoulder and a smile on her face that feels like it’s just for me.

Noah releases his grip on me.

I glance out at the waves and back at Noah. “I think the water’s going to be pretty crowded today. Let’s boogie board instead and I promise we’ll go surfing this weekend. As long as your mom says that’s alright.”

Mila smiles at me. “That’s a good plan.”

“Can we make a sandcastle instead?” Noah asks.

“Oh, yeah! We can totally do that. And play spikeball and throw the frisbee around. And we’ll eat all the barbecue and then roast s’mores …”

I look over at Mila.

She chuckles. “Your energy is nearly as off the charts as Noah’s.”

“What can I say, I love Beach Bash.”

I do enjoy Beach Bash, but that’s not what I love. I love being here with the two of them, seeing Noah’s excitement. Just seeing Mila at all, anytime I can.

“Here. Give me that.” I reach for her beach bag. “We’ll get you a spot near everyone. Kala and Summer and Riley already laid out blankets. I told them to save a spot for you.”

“I’m one of the girls, huh?”

“Is that okay?”

“I like it.”

Mila hands me her bag and we walk side by side over to the spot near the shoreline where all my friends have their beach stuff staked out under umbrellas in a cluster. The girls all greet Mila. Noah sees a friend and runs off after asking permission. Mila drops down and joins in the conversation that’s already going on—like she belongs here, my girlfriend with all my friends.

An ache forms in my sternum, clenching and pulling. I want this. I want her, here with my people, laughing and smiling and being welcomed. I want to be able to touch her and kiss her freely.

I never saw this coming—the dangerous snare I was walking straight into when I volunteered myself as Mila’s protector. And now I’m here, my feelings clamping in around me, unable to wriggle free if I wanted to. And I don’t want to. I only want what I can’t have. Wanting Mila the way I do may be the worst kind of torture I’ve ever known.

Mila stays with my friends’ wives and my sister under the umbrellas. Noah runs up to me, and not only do he and I build a sand castle, we gather a team of the guys from the watersports shack and a few of Noah’s friends and their brothers. Noah dubs us the “Sand Masters” and we enter the contest. The winning team gets gift certificates to Tuesday’s Tacos, which is a prize totally worth the amount of OCD focus we put into building our mansion of sand. Later in the afternoon, they announce the winners. We end up taking third place and then, as tradition goes, all the kids under ten get to run around kicking down the castles just before the barbecues are fired up at dusk.

And that’s when he shows up.

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