Page 116 of Resorting to Romance

“It’s kind of like the sea star, or starfish, as most people call them,” Stevens says after hearing me pour out all the sordid details of Mila’s and my relationship.

“Sea stars?”

“Yes. When startled, sea stars will bounce instead of crawling. It’s like when we homo sapiens break into a sprint in our fight-flight response to stress. Sea stars have thousands of tiny hydraulic ‘feet’ that can work together to synchronize their motion. They bounce away when they feel threatened.”

“Fascinating,” I deadpan. “And, all props to Bill Nye the Science Guy and all. But I need relationship advice here.”

Maybe going to Stevens wasn’t such a hot idea after all. He is single. And, that could be for obvious reasons, now that I think of it. Sea stars? Is that all he’s got?

Stevens chuckles. “Bill’s awesome. And, I am giving you relationship advice. Hang with me here.”

“Okaaay.”

Stevens continues, “If you want to touch a sea star, you have to wet your hands in salt water. Fully submerge your hands in theelements of their environment. You have to hold them gently and be very respectful. You can’t keep holding them for long periods of time. You have to return them where you found them.”

“Uh huh. Is this the relationship advice part?”

Stevens chuckles again like I’m missing the whole point. He’s not wrong. I’m missing it. Completely.

“You’ve been doing all that with Mila,” he says. “You’re submerging yourself in her environment at the inn. You’ve been gentle and respectful. You give her space. She’ll open to you, Kai. Just keep showing up like you have been until she can be touched without running. Because eventually, you will feel like a part of her world. And then she’ll trust you. Like a sea star.”

“I've been doing all that for four years now.”

“But things shifted once you started faking. In science we call that altering a variable. And one alteration can lead to a totally different outcome.”

He presents his conclusion as if he’s pronouncing a diagnosis. And I feel as unsettled as a patient with a terminal illness.

Stevens only confirmed what I’ve known. I’ll never get enough of Mila. She is oxygen and I’m only able to go so long without inhaling her presence. She’s breath and life. At the mere thought of her, I’m light-headed. And I have no way forward if I rush her into something. The only answer is to wait for her to open up to the possibility of something more with me. Gently and respectfully, waiting.

“I’m screwed,” I confess to Stevens.

“No. You aren’t. You’re just a man with a clear knowledge of where you stand. Now. What are you going to do about it? Because I think this feeling you have isn’t one-sided. My guess is she’s falling for you too.”

“Guess? Can you guess in science?”

“We call it a hypothesis, as I’m sure you know. And making a hypothesis is usually something we do before we begin running experiments. But with this situation, I can’t run any experiments. You’ve got to be the one to figure Mila out,not me. Science only takes you so far. There comes a point where you have to act on what science reveals. And there’s always the element of mystery—something beyond the scope of our capacity to measure. Love may leave signs we can see, but it’s not truly quantifiable. You are going to have to take a risk, Kai. That’s always what it boils down to. Risk. And the biggest question is this: Is Mila worth the risk?”

I already know the answer. And, as unconventional as Stevens’ thinking is, he made me realize one thing.

“I’ll wait eleven years for Mila. I’d wait a lifetime if I had to.”

“You're serious?”

“Dead serious. She’s it. There’s only one Mila. I’m not interested in anyone else. I’ll wait.”

“Wow.” Stevens chuckles and shakes his head. “Then, I hope you get your sea star, Kai.”

THIRTY-THREE

Mila

They don’t know that we know they know we know.

~ Phoebe, in Friends

Kai texted me this morning. He said he was at work and heading to the resort for a special meeting. He said it was important that we talk asap. All he said was,We need to work through some things. More people know. Can you meet me after my meeting at the Alicante?I texted back, but I guess he was busy because he gave my text a thumbs up and we haven’t talked since.

I called Jasmin for the second time in two days, and thankfully, she was free. I have a few women on this side of the island whose husbands are the sole breadwinners. During the busy season I call on them to sit at the reception desk and field any needs of my guests. And I have Jasmin, my part-timer.

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