Page 108 of Resorting to Romance

“We’ll lose if I do.”

“Sacrifices. Sacrifices,” I joke.

But she surprises me and runs both hands through my hair, dragging her fingernails along my scalp. I close my eyes like Shaka when I’m rubbing his head. The dog? Really? Mila’s touching me and I’m thinking of that mutt.

We play chicken with a fierce competitiveness that’s tinged with laughter. She feels like she’smine, up on my shoulders, an extension of me in the best of ways. We’re synchronized and on a mission to win. Couple after couple falls into the water until it comes down to Mila and me against Kalaine and Bodhi.

It’s a brutal contest. Kala and Bodhi and I were all pro surfers. They’re back at it these days. Competing is in our blood. Mila must pick up on my energy, or maybe this is a side of her I never knew existed. That thought thrills me. She has layers. I don’t know all of her. I want to spend the rest of my life uncovering and appreciating all the facets of Mila.

The girls are screaming on our shoulders while Bodhi and I maneuver beneath them in shoulder-high water. They’re pushing at one another and pretending to trash talk. At times one of them says something completely over-the-top ridiculous and the other one cracks up, making them temporarily weaken from laughter. The guests in our group are all chanting the names of one or the other couple. My name and Mila’s repeat among the raucous shouts.

“Bodhi and Kalaine!” “Go Kai and Mila!” “Knock her down, Mila!” “Bride and Groom!”

The group around us is surprisingly rowdy after such a full night. And the girls and Bodhi and I are feeding off theirenergy. Bodhi and I stare one another down, moving around one another like two young bulls.

“You are going down, Charlie Brown! Down into water town! I hope you don’t drown!” Mila shouts like she’s some rapping Doctor Seuss queen of the game of Chicken.

Kalaine laughs hard. Mila seizes the moment and gives my sister one last shove. Kala topples off Bodhi’s shoulders into the water.

Mila squeals and bounces on my shoulders.

“That’s right! Uh huh! We won! Winner winner, CHICKEN dinner!” Mila shouts.

I whoop along with her. She holds on tight while her laughter filters down from her spot above me.

When she pumps her fist, I’m laughing so hard I have to grip her shins to make sure I don’t drop her.

I never see Mila letting loose like this. She’s always bearing the weight of motherhood and running the inn with grace and finesse. But she’s constantly on, never able to fully let go because people rely on her. Even when she relaxes, I can feel the weight of her life like a cloud around her. I never realized it until now. The contrast is stark. Mila free and unhindered is one of my new favorite things in the world.

I vow to get her out more—not just for Noah’s surf lessons and Noah’s parties and events—but for her. Even as a friend, I will do this one thing for her. If we never become what I wish we would, I still want to give her the gift of letting loose.

I release her legs and she slides down my back. When I turn, she’s right in front of me.

Ben starts chanting, “Winners kiss! Winners kiss! Win-ners Kiss! Win-ners Kiss!” and pretty soon everyone in the area is chanting along with him. My eyes scan the crowd and fall back on Mila. She shrugs and lifts onto her tiptoes. I bend down and place a soft peck on her lips. It’s reminiscent of the kiss I gave her at her aunt’s party. Safe. Chaste. Barely noticeable.

“Oh, no!” Ben shouts. “That’s not how it’s done, Kai! Mywife’s co-stars kiss her like that. That’s what we call a show biz kiss. That’s not a winner’s kiss!”

He’s laughing, oblivious to my vow to never kiss Mila again—not during our charade. The next time I kiss her I want us both to know it’s real. That day may never come. But I can’t keep kissing her while my heart is all in and we’re not actually committed to anything more than friendship.

Mila looks up at me. “We can do better.”

“Oh, I’m well aware,” I say in a voice for her ears only.

She looks straight in my eyes and says, “Win-ners kiss, Kai.”

So I bend in and give her what she asked for. It’s a winner’s kiss.

I only hope I can actually win her heart one day.

THIRTY-ONE

Mila

Love is friendship that has caught fire.

~Ann Landers

Noah and I are sitting in the kitchen for breakfast. He’s talking about surfing and what Kai told him during their lesson and how Kai is the greatest surfer on earth. It’s pretty cute.

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