Page 100 of Catch a Wave

“You told him no?”

“About San Diego, yeah.”

“Why, Bodhi?”

He looks at me like he’s weighing out how much to say.

“Let me check this. You’ve got to get ready for work.”

Really? Something in my chest pulls tight. My head swims a little.

What broke us last time wasn’t Bodhi’s dip into depression. We could have weathered that together. What broke us was this: him shutting me out.

26

BODHI

Obstacles can't stop you. Problems can't stop you.

Most of all, other people can't stop you. Only you can stop you.

~ Jeffrey Gitomer

Isee it in her eyes—the old hunger and drive. And it thrills me. Mavs deserves everything. The idea of her on a big wave again isn’t going to be easy for me to work through, but if that’s what she wants, I’ll support her one hundred percent. I just don’t know if I can be the man she needs now. I’m not where she is, itching to get back to our old life, welcoming reporters to spread the private details of the hardest season of my life out into the world for public consumption.

I’ve got a cush situation here on Marbella. It works. I teach lessons. I surf. I have her. Why can’t that be enough? I thought it could. But I was kidding myself. Mavs needs to stretch her wings. She’s always lived with both hands open, fearless and free. I wouldn’t want her any other way. And I can’t be the man who holds her back—I never would be that man. Not then, and not now.

I turn away from her and grab my phone.

Mavs shuffles around behind me, opening cupboards, setting a cup onto the counter with what might be a little more force than necessary. The coffee flows into the cup, then the refrigerator opens and shuts. Milk, sugar, spoon hitting ceramic in rhythmic pings. Every sound echoes into the silence between us—the silence I created by being stubborn and refusing to let her see what’s really going on with me.

I turn my attention to my cell.

Jammer:Just me again. Bugging you until you relent. Tell me you’ve reconsidered your answer.

My lips pinch in and I notice my jaw tightening. I texted Jammer a week ago to say I wasn’t ready to surf in any sort of contest, even one for charity. Maybe next time. He’s not convinced I meant what I said. I lean back on the counter, texting my response.

Bodhi:Still a no.

Jammer:I wish you’d reconsider. We all miss you, man.

Bodhi:I miss you too. Maybe I’ll come hang another time.

Jammer:What would it take to sway you?

Bodhi:Nothing, man. It’s a hard pass this time. Really.

Jammer:You’re breaking my heart over here. Promise me you’ll come hang within the next few months and I’ll lay off.

Bodhi:I promise.

Jammer:I’m going to hold you to that.

Bodhi:I know you will. Gotta jet. Take care, Jammer.

Jammer:You too.

Mavs has turned toward me, leaning back on the counter adjacent to mine. She lifts her mug to her mouth and takes a sip.

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