Page 10 of Crossing Lines

“I’m sorry, Trace. I’ll buy you a new truck. I was just…overwhelmed. I’m scared. What if I can’t do it? What if something happens?”

“Hey, don’t panic. We’ll figure this out. Shelby will make sure you and the baby are okay. You can’t predict what’s going to happen before it does. Right, ladies?”

I turned my face to see both Shelby and Dani Lynn. Shelby had already tried to tell me that. I still wasn’t sure I believed it. Dani Lynn gripped my good hand and squeezed, but it was Shelby who spoke.

“You know what I told you earlier. Becoming a mother is one of the scariest and most rewarding jobs you’ll ever get.” She went back to cleaning my hand.

“Trace is right,” Dani Lynn said. “I know you’re scared. We all go through that. The what ifs, and there are a helluva lot of them, will do your head in. Like Shelby said, no job in the world is bigger or more rewarding than being a mom. To hold thoseprecious babies in your arms, to love them. It’s going to be hard. You’re going to have bad days. Hell, you’ve seen us all go through this a dozen times.”

“I’m so scared. What if—” I paused, chewing on my lip. “I don’t want to die and leave my baby and Trace alone. Mama did that and…Daddy still hurts every day.”

“Stel, I won’t say there aren’t risks when it comes to pregnancy. But something could happen to you any day of the week. Being pregnant isn’t the only way you can die. You chase down criminals daily that could take you out with one shot. You can’t let the what ifs bring you down. Look at this as the miracle it is. You’re growing a little human. Someone that will grow up with Trace’s smarts, your sass, and those green eyes you all sport. Grace would be so proud of the woman you’ve become. You can do this; we’ll all be here for you. You won’t be alone.” Dani Lynn leaned in and wrapped her arms around both Trace and me.

“I love you, heifer,” I replied, sniffling back more tears.

“I love you, too. Trace, you know we are always here for y’all.”

“Thanks, Dani Lynn. We know and appreciate that. I can’t believe it. I never thought we’d get to this place. She just needs to get her head wrapped around it. And talk to her daddy.”

I looked up at Trace. “You wanted kids? I didn’t…”

“I do, with you, but I wasn’t going to push you on the subject. I know how much you lost when your mama died. You’ve done a great job being a sister, aunt, and friend to your family. That was enough for me.”

“I love you,” I said, tugging him down so I could press my lips to his.

“I love you, too, sugar. Always have, always will.”

“All right, Stel, all done. I’m pretty sure all the glass and splinters are out of your hand and arms. You have a total of sixteen stitches between five different gashes. No getting themwet. Come in every day, and I’ll look you over and change bandages. I want to make sure you don’t get any soft spots; that would mean it needs to be opened again and irrigated. Foreign objects usually work themselves free of the skin, though. The stitches will need to be in for about ten, maybe fourteen days. But we’ll play it by ear.”

“All right. Guess I need to go face the firing squad.” I got off the table and wobbled when the world went ass-over-tea kettle. The next thing I knew I was curled up against Trace’s chest and closing my eyes. I guess walking was too much of a big ask right now.

Chapter 5

Tracey

I’d not movedfrom this chair beside Stella’s bed since I carried her in here. When Wayne told me to bring her ‘home,’ I didn’t argue. The worry lines beside his eyes had said it all. He was as worried as I was. If not more. This was his baby girl. His little Grace.

His large frame blocked the light from the hall. He stood leaning against the doorframe, watching her sleep. Shelby had given her a combination of meds that would not only help her relax, but let her sleep off the anxiety she’d been buried in. My thumb ran along her knuckles softly. I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against our clasped hands.

“You know,” Wayne started, then sighed. “She’s going to be a handful.” I couldn’t help but smile.

“She always is. I don’t mind. I love her for being just who she is.” I looked up at him. “I wouldn’t want her any other way.”

“Pregnant women go through emotional ups and downs. She’s going to test you on so many levels.”

What was his point?I raised a brow. “I’m well aware of that. I don’t care. She’s going to be fine. We’ll be fine. I’m not going to ask her to change in any way. I’d never expect her to either.”

Wayne nodded and rubbed his neck. “I never thought she’d be having a baby,” he said, his features pinched. “She took her mama’s death so hard. Then one day it was as if she’d been replaced by a little soldier. She took care of Carter like he was hers. She bathed him, fed him, rocked him to sleep every chance she got. She did all that while keeping up with her schoolwork.” From the corner of my eye, I saw him wipe his face. “She’s always been more of a mother to him than a sister. I should have let her be a kid. I took those years away from her even without meaning to.”

“You didn’t,” I turned to face him, “You know Stel; she’s going to do what she wants to do, and no one else gets a vote on that. She may have missed out on playing and free time, but I know she doesn’t regret any of it. She loves being able to help you out. We’ve had many, many hour-long conversations about your family. The dynamics, what it was like to grow up surrounded by all of that testosterone. I can assure you, she loved every minute of it. Carter is her biggest pride and joy. No doubt he’s learned well from you and his brothers, but she taught him—she gave him something we as men can’t. A mother’s love, whether they’re biological or not, is stronger than anyone can imagine. That young man is compassionate, hard-working, and a friend to anyone he meets. Stel did that. She gave him the tools he needed to be that man.”

“What if she resents me for it?” He sounded so dejected.

“Wayne, look, I’m not saying it was always unicorns and rainbows. I know she struggled sometimes, but I can promise you that your daughter doesn’t resent you and never could. You all did the best you could after Grace died. Your family is strong in faith, hope, and love. You have it all, even if a few of you are nuttier than a squirrel’s winter stash.”

“You sound like a damn Hallmark card,” Stella grumbled as she tried to sit up. Her face creased in pain. She sank her teethinto her bottom lip. I helped her, taking the pressure off of her injured hand and arms.

“Stella, baby girl.” Wayne moved to sit beside her, and I stood up.

---