Page 14 of Falling

“There I go, what?”

“My reason.”

“You did it so you could make me laugh?” I ask slowly, really trying to get the hang of this game he’s playing. Is it agame? Or have I just convinced myself that any guy that wants to get close to me is only doing it to fuck with my head?

“Sometimes, people don’t need any other reason,” he says.

Just those words alone make my heart do a weird stutter thing. A thing it hasn’t done in alongtime. He says these things so easily, so naturally, as if it’s just supposed to make sense. Everything about our dynamic is still foreign to me. It’s fun, but it’s still strange.

I shake my head at him, fighting off a smile. “You’re ri?—"

“Ridiculous, I know. Can we just get to the part where you say that you’re cold, I give you my jacket, I walk you home, you pretend to forget something in my car and I run back up the stairs, and then we make out?”

I almost spray my mouthful of soda over my food but I stop myself. “What kind of rom-coms haveyoubeen watching?”

“Only the good ones,” he says. “When I was a kid, my sister would literally strap me to a chair and force me to watch rom-coms with her. She’d point at the screen and make it very clear who I should follow in the footsteps of. I think this was right after One Direction broke up, so she thought Zayn had broken up withher.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Is that why you’re so charming and respectful?”

His entire face glows with pride. “That’s one of the reasons.”

“Yeah? Why else?”

“Because I want to impress you, and I’m trying my hardest not to fuck this up,” he says, the words coming out with such sincerity it hits me right in the gut. I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with a relationship, let alone a crush right now. Those things consume me. They turn me into a pathetic, horny monster, and I have too much riding on this year at NU to compromise it.

As I go to eat another fry, a few guys hover beside our table. This must be the third time this has happened in this diner alone.I’ve passed by here a few times with the girls, but we usually just grab a takeout. Maybe if we ate in, we would realize how much of NU’s population likes to hang out here. And we would have realized how much theyloveMiles Davis.

You’d think he’s walking around with a fucking crown on his head and has twenty-four-hour security surrounding him. I just see him as a conventionally attractive hockey player who seems to have more to him than this playboy personality I’ve been told about. To everyone else, he’s a god.

“Hey,” a ginger guy calls, his group following him over. They seem too young to be in college, and way too nervous to be talking to a normal guy.

“Hey, man. What’s up?” Miles says—the same thing he said to the other two people who interrupted our meal earlier.

The ginger guy stutters for a second before his buddy elbows him. “Hey, sorry to bother you. I just wanted to say how much our team appreciates you. We were watching your game at practice last night and the highlights from the Frozen Four last year.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” Miles answers, nodding at the guys who might piss themselves with excitement. “You guys planning to go to NU?”

“Yeah, if we get in,” one of the guys says, and the rest of them hum in agreement.

“You guys go to Hollis, right?” Miles asks, nodding at their letterman jackets. They let out a chorus of “yeahs.” “Your coach is one of the best in the division. You’ll be fine. Just listen to what he says, and you’ll be good.”

They all let out a breath of relief as if Miles just admitted them onto North’s hockey team just like that. They make basic hockey small talk as I continue to eat my fries. Miles tried to involve me in the conversation, but I’m as clueless as they come when it comes to hockey. I’m more than happy to listen to him talk about it though. It’s the least I can do after I’ve spent the entire date talking about books.

A brief pause wedges in the conversation, and one of the Hollis kids says, “We’re really sorry about Carter too. He was such a talented player. He would have made it to the pros if he…”

Miles stiffens, and I have the urge to hold his hand. I know the mention of his best friend makes him visibly uncomfortable, but he tries to keep his cool. He clears his throat and says, “Yeah, he would have.”

They easily change topics again, and after a few more minutes, they say bye and leave the diner. Miles and I finish our food in silence until he sighs, saying, “It’s so weird talking about him and he’s not here. I keep thinking in the back of my head that he’s going to be there when I get home.”

A wedge forms in my heart, and I wish I could do something about it. I’ve not experienced many losses in my family, not with any close relatives, anyway. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like to lose his best friend.

I swallow, meeting his gaze. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, Miles.”

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry for dumping that on you.”

“It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about him if you don’t want to.”

“Yeah. It’s— Yeah, let's not.”

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