Page 132 of Falling

What makes you think that he wants this for real?

Admire, not love.

I shake my head, staring down at my thighs. “You can stop pretending you care about me, and you can go, Miles.” A desperate scoff leaves his mouth, and I shut my eyes. “You don’t have to feel obligated to check in on me.”

“Obligated? What the fuck does that mean?” I shrug, playing with my hands. I feel him step closer to me and his fingers brush my chin. “Wren, baby, look at me.”

I push his hand away. “No. Just go.”

His grip tightens on me, and I can feel my throat burning. Ican’tcry. I look up at him and instantly wish I hadn’t. He looks tired. No.Exhausted.He’s got a slight stubble on his chin that wasn’t there a few weeks ago. There’s a hurt in his eyes that I’ve never seen before, and it breaks my heart.

“I’m not leaving when you’re clearly upset,” he says roughly, his thumb rubbing my chin.

“God, I’m not upset. I just don’t want you here right now. I’mnot in a good place, Miles, and you’re making it worse,” I say, my temper rising.

He doesn’t back down. “Why?”

“Because you’re driving me crazy!”

“No,why?” he presses, his tone sharp. “Why do you shut people out when they want to help you, Wren? Can’t you see that’s all I’m trying to do? I know that you might be used to it, but you don’t have to do things on your own.”

My lip quivers, and I will myself not to cry. I need him to stop. To stop trying to peel back the layers of me I haven’t had a chance to look at myself. I need him to stop trying to break down walls that I’ve put up for a reason. I know just how bad it hurts when someone leaves or lets me down and it’s going to hurt a thousand times more when it’s him.

“Stop,” I whisper, my voice shaking.

“No, Wren, I won’t stop until you believe what I’m telling you,” he says. He drops to his knees in front of me, and it’s even harder to look at him. He rubs my thighs reassuringly, running his hands up and down as he looks up at me. “How many times do I have to tell you how enthralled I am by your presence? How many times do I have to lay myself bare for you so you can realize that I’m in this for keeps? How many times do I have to embarrass myself to prove that all I want is to spend time with you, find out things about you that no one else does, and justloveyou?”

My voice cracks as I speak, tears spilling down my cheeks. “You don’t mean that.”

“Who?” His grip on my thighs tightens, and the anger in his voice is unmistakable. “Who is telling you that I don’t mean that, baby?”

“Miles,” I whimper.

“Who is hurting you, princess? Tell me, and I can make it better. Who is making you believe that bullshit?”

I gasp for air, needing it quicker than it can get to me. “No one ishurting me. It’s just— It’s my mom. Austin came back and told her about the pregnancy, and they turned it all on me. I told her about our plan, and she said that you don’t want me, that you’ll get bored of me, and maybe she’s right.”

His jaw ticks. “You believed her?” I nod, and another sob rips through me when he shakes his head, dropping it to my knees. “Jesus Christ, Wren.”

Not looking at him makes it easier to talk, but it still hurts. It’s like the words burn to get out of my mouth, but I know I need to say them. “I thought that shutting you out would help, that it would make what she said feel less real. I thought it would give me more time to focus on my performance, but it just made it worse, and I stopped taking care of myself and pushed you away, and I fucking missed you.”

My voice cracks on the last two words, and his head shoots back up. “Then why didn’t you talk to me?”

“I was scared. I was embarrassed that I let her get into my head, and I couldn't stomach the idea that she might be right,” I say.

“If you had let me, I would have been there for you.”

I sniffle. “I know.”

“Do you?” His eyes soften as he drinks me in. “Because if you knew that, Wren, you wouldn’t have iced me out. I told youmonthsago that you’ve got me. That you don’t have to be alone when things get hard. If you had told me, I would have told you a thousand times over that I could watch you just being you and never get bored. I think you’re single-handedly the most brilliant person I have ever met, and I feel lucky to even know you. I am constantly in awe of the person that you are, you know that?”

Trying to think about what he just said makes the weight on my chest finally give way, and it crushes me. I crumble, my entire body shaking with sobs until Miles’s arm wraps around me and he pulls me to the ground with him. I curl myself up so small in his arms, and he holds me like he's afraid to let go, like he's anchoring me to reality in the midst of my storm. His warmth seeps into my bones, and for the first time in weeks, I feel a sliver of safety, a promise of solace.

Miles’s hand strokes my hair, his touch gentle yet firm. “Wren, you don't have to be perfect. Not for me, not for anyone.”

I cling to him, my sobs gradually subsiding into hiccups. “I thought... I thought if I showed you the messy parts of me, you'd leave. That you’d see I'm not worth it.”

“Baby,” he murmurs, the word so soft and smooth I start to hate the nickname less and less. He angles my head toward him, and I struggle to look at him, but I do it anyway. “You, just existing, is enough.”

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