Page 109 of Falling

“And your tan is looking gorgeous,” Scarlett says, pulling the phone closer to her face. “I bet those freckles are driving him insane.”

“I don’t know. I haven’t?—”

“You’re getting off-topic,” Kennedy chimes in. “Are you going to tell him?”

“Are you stupid? I’m not going to tell him anything. I don’t even know what I would say. It’s not like they are even real feelings anyway,” I say.

“Who said they’re not real? Because if you’re telling yourself that then youarefucking stupid,” Scarlett says, and I hate how right she is. “Don’t tell him if you don't want to, but don’t invalidate your own feelings. If you don’t know what those are yet, that’s cool. But that doesn’t mean you have to pretend you’re not feeling them.”

I nod, taking in her advice. “When did you get so wise?”

“I always have been, you’re just too stupid to realize it,” she says with a shrug. We really are throwing around the S word today. “Anyway. We’ve got to go and binge-watch Love Island. We’ll see you in a few days.”

I say my goodbyes and end the call, trying my best to listen to what Scarlett says. I hate how she’s able to see right through me and understand exactly what it is that I need. I don’t need to tell him right now, but I do need to figure out my feelings before they start to turn into something bigger. The glass door to the balcony opens, and I flinch, turning around to a freshly showered, topless Miles, who is leaning against the door frame.

“Hey. You okay?” he asks, crossing his arms against his chest. “You seem a bit jumpy, so I’m guessing there’s going to be no scary movie tonight.”

I laugh. “No, because then I’d have to put up with your screeching.”

“That was one time,” he says. It happened more than once, but I don’t say that. He scratches his stomach, and my eyes are desperate to memorize every inch of his chest. My mouth practically salivates at the sound. “Are you hungry?”

Yes.

“What?” I say, snapping out of my trance.

“I asked if you were hungry,” he says, coming closer to me. He places his hand on my forehead. “You sure you’re okay? Are you sick?”

I shake my head, letting his hand fall. “I’m perfect, Doc. Just tired. All that singing and surfing has really got to me.”

My face splits into a huge yawn and so does his. “Me too. I’ll set up the TV in the room and we can have an early night.”

He walks back into the room, and I’m left with no idea what to do.

34

WREN

HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR

I don’t knowhow we got here. I don’t know how I went from wanting to rip his head off at that party a few months ago to being in a bar in Palm Springs on New Year’s Eve with Miles Davis.

The strangest part isn’t that I don’t know, it’s that I don’t care.

For some reason, being here, in a crowded bar with Miles’s hand on my back doesn’t make me scream. It makes me want to melt into him. We don’t have to pretend here, but being close to him is comforting and calming enough that I don’t question it.

The last week has been heaven. I know I should be training and preparing myself for competition season, but I’m sure I can spare a week. Ideservea week, and Miles has spent the last few days proving that to me. We’ve been eating, talking, traveling, and doing more talking. I’ve learnt a lot more about him and myself being here than I have in the last four months of knowing him.

We’ve still tried to keep up with working out and using the gym in the hotel, but we stay for an hour at most before running back to the room or the beach. It feels like nothing can touch us here.All the pressure, the stress, the grief. It feels like the world is at our fingertips. Or maybe I’m just starting to feel the shots we took earlier.

It’s half an hour until midnight, and we’re desperately trying to speak over the loud music that’s reverberating off the walls.

“What was that?” Miles basically shouts in my ear, his hand on my waist, leaning his face to mine.

“I said that I’m going to stop being strict on drinking,” I shout back to him. A crooked grin splits across his face.

“Really?That’syour New Year’s resolution?”

“Yeah. I kind of like how it feels now. I feel like I’m floating,” I say.

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