Page 102 of Falling

I let myself drown in him, letting his lips fight over mine. Everything around us blurs when his tongue slips into my mouth, and I whimper.

I’m surprised I don’t explode into oblivion when his hands slip under my shirt, wrapping around my back. His warmth seems to seep into my bones, and I want to feel like this forever. I bite on his lip as I pull away from him, leaving the both of us panting.

I stay straddled on him, his hands still under my shirt when I turn back to the rest of them.

“God, he said kiss, not whatever that was,” Xavier says, retching. This is why we work well together. Xavier is the voice of rationality.

“You get what you wanted, Evan?” Miles asks, his voice breathy from behind me. He bites my collarbone gently; his eyes connect with Evan across the room.

“You guys are so boring. You didn’t have to choose him just because he’s your boyfriend,” Evan whines. I climb off Miles and try to ignore the throbbing I feel between my legs as I sit beside him, nuzzling my face into his shoulder.

“Even if he wasn’t, I still would have,” I whisper, only loud enough for Miles to hear.

They continueto play truth or dare while I slip away into the kitchen, cleaning up some of the plates and dishes that we ended up using.

Today has been another perfect day. Our friendship groups are so different that they make so much sense, and I couldn’t think of anything more special. I might not get to spend the holidays with my family, but having my friends to celebrate it with feels even better.

I’m putting dirty dishes into the sink when Miles comes through from the living room. He doesn’t say anything. He just stands beside me, waiting for me to wash the plates, then he dries them.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” he asks in the midst of the comfortable silence.

“What?”

“Earlier. About you wanting to kiss me even if we weren’t together.”

I shrug. “You’re not a horrible kisser.” That doesn’t get the reaction I wanted. I thought he’d laugh and say something flirty, but he just groans. “What? Are you annoyed?”

“No,” he says with a slight edge to his voice. “I don’t know. Maybe. I guess I’m a little frustrated because you know how badly I want you. How badly I’ve wanted you since the beginning. But whenever I try to make a move, you run away. Like you did the morning after the game.”

“I didn’t run away. I stayed with you.”

“If I wasn’t in pain, would you have stayed?”

I blink at him because the truth is, I don’t know if I would have. If I didn't know how badly he needed someone to be there for him after we fooled around, I probably would have thought of some excuse to get out of there.

“That’s different,” is what I end up whispering.

“Is it?” I open my mouth to speak, but I’m interrupted by Xavier, Evan, and Scarlett walking into the kitchen. The boys look absolutely fucked. I don’t know when everybody got so drunk, but I was focusing on pacing myself.

“If you’re staying, Miles, I’m going to drive these two home,” Scarlett groans, patting Xavier on the chest. He makes a strange noise from the back of his throat. “You guys gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” I reply. I look up to Miles, but he’s not looking at me. Panic settles in me like a stomachache festering in my abdomen.

“Actually, I’m going to go too,” Miles says, walking away to get his jacket. Scarlett nods as she opens the door. I walk toward him, trying to reach for his hand, but he pulls it away.

“Miles,” I say. He turns around to me, his expression unreadable. “You’re still picking me up tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll be here.” He shuffles closer toward me and kisses me on my forehead. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

I sigh, the nickname running through me like water. “Merry Christmas, Miles.”

32

MILES

I’M SO FUCKED

We only have six days.

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