Page 46 of Matched

Chapter Nineteen

Tony

Holy shit. That was amazing. I’ve never seen a woman use a vibrator on herself, outside of porn, of course. And the way she teased me, only allowing me to watch, made me rock hard. In retrospect, I’m kicking myself for being insecure and wasting all that time. Precious days where we could have been having sex like that. What difference does it make if I’m less experienced when I have a sensual goddess like Inara to show me the light? I never would have guessed in a million years that having a woman take full-on control could be so damn hot. Well, not any woman. Inara. My wife. Having her take the lead and tell me what makes her hot, and hearing her ask me to stroke myself, was the kind of experience I’ll be thinking about way too often while I shower. Hell, my dick is already getting hard again.

I pull the covers up and over my waist as I recall how her mouth twists and brows furrow when she orgasms. The bathroom door clicks open, and a moment later Inara walks into the room. She climbs into bed and as she gets under the covers, I pull her in close to me once again, so close in fact that the heat of her body radiates against mine. She settles against my chest as I cover us both with the comforter.

“You sure you okay with me sleeping here?” While I absolutely would sleep on the floor of her bedroom or the couch for as long as she wanted, a part of me is asking just for her to tell me again that she wants me here, in bed, with her.

Inara laughs. “We touched ourselves in front of each other, so yes, I think we’re okay to share a bed.”

“Just checking.” I kiss the top of her forehead.

Inara’s fingers toy with the hair on my arm for a few moments, then stills. She makes a little noise in her throat. “So, there’s something I wanted to ask you.” Her voice is soft, almost shy. Very atypical for my brazen wife.

“Ask me anything,” I say, charmed by this rarely seen side of her. At this precise moment, I don’t think there’s much in this world I’d deny her.

“When you were talking to your dad before you left, I heard you mention something.”

I try not to groan. Except that. I really, really don’t want to talk about my dad. But I did just tell her to ask me anything. “What’s that?”

“Something about a fundraiser?” Inara’s voice is soft. Hesitant. I get the sense that while she doesn’t want to push me, it would mean a lot if I open up.

“It’s something my dad dreamed up.” I force myself to continue. “He wants to put together a fundraiser and he’s actually thinking of doing it here.” This seems like as good a point as any to start.

“That sounds nice. I’d love to get a chance to meet him. But what kind of fundraiser is it?” She angles her head closer to me.

“It’s actually, uh”—I chuckle, slightly embarrassed—“a Zumba event to raise money for cancer awareness and research. He wants to donate it all in my mom’s name.”

She leans over and props herself up on her elbow. “Your dad does Zumba? That’s awesome. And to do something in your mother’s name is really special. Don’t you think?”

She’s wants more from me. No, strike that. She deserves more. I hadn’t been planning on telling her much about my family, because, well, what was the point? Especially when I was sleeping on the couch. But it isn’t right to keep her totally in the dark. I have to tell her about my mom, about my relationship with my family, all of it. But the visions I had of us connecting on a new level is harder than I expected. I look down at her hand rubbing my arm. And when my gaze returns to hers, I’m met with patience, and it’s enough for me to move forward. “What I haven’t shared with you... is something I don’t talk about... because I don’t even like thinking about it. But when I was in high school, my mom got cancer. It hit her hard and quick too.”

Inara sucks in a quiet breath. “I’m so sorry, Tony.”

I avoid her gaze so I can keep going. “We watched her fall apart, and it was one of the hardest times in my life.”

The hand rubbing my arm slides to my fingers and laces with mine. The connection gives me the resolve to continue. “During her illness, while she was still moving around okay, my youngest sister suggested we all do Zumba together to keep her moving, to do something fun and non-cancer related, and to get her out of the house.” I stop and shake my head, smiling to myself at the memory. “She didn’t want to at first. She thought it was a ridiculous idea. But then we all signed up. And we all took turns going to classes with her. Zumba was one of the few things that made her really smile and laugh, near the end.”

“That must have been really hard for you, but what a great thing you did for her.” Inara places her other hand on my chest and rubs it back and forth.

Now that I’ve started, the words flow more easily. “After my mom died, my dad kept going to Zumba. It was the only thing that helped him move through the grief. And he got so into it he decided to become an instructor. Now, he’s apparently like one of the greatest instructors in the state, and people travel far to take classes with him.”

“That’s actually amazing. I mean not just finding a way to heal but turning it into a career.” She smiles softly at me. “And you’re going to do this fundraiser?”

I squirm. “Haven’t decided yet. Thing is, when my mom died, my dad was kind of out of commission. He couldn’t help it, but we needed him and he wasn’t there for us. Now whenever I’m around him, all I think about is that and all I see is my family with a giant Mamá-shaped hole.”

Her dark eyes are full of sympathy. “That’s understandable. Of course it would hurt to be around them. But he’s your dad, and maybe now is a good time to try to heal that.”

“No.” I don’t like my tone, but I look her in the eyes and there’s no irritation there.

She smiles. “I know it’s something you really need to think about and decide for yourself. I support you either way. Thanks for telling me.” She squeezes me tighter and gives me a soft kiss along my jawline.

“Thank you for saying that you’ll support me either way.”

“Yeah, I got this supportive-wife shit down. You taking notes?”

“Whatever.” I pull her to my side and she leans into me. I’ve never had anyone to really talk to about this. The guys know my past, but nothing more than the basics. Telling Inara was a whole lot better than I expected.

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