Page 53 of Assigned

Chapter Twenty-Three

Riley

Lucas has been gone for two weeks and I’ve talked to him once. For five freaking minutes. This fucking sucks. Every night as I go to sleep, I hug his pillow to me. There’s a lingering hint of sage from his shampoo that invades my dreams with his presence. I miss having those muscular arms around me, making me feel safe and loved. I miss the way he set my body on fire with his touch. My dreams are full of him, strong and tender, but when I wake up every morning, the bed is cold and lonely. I wake up alone. I work alone. I eat alone.

I toss the fork I’m holding down onto the table. No amount of chewing makes these eggs easier to swallow. My mouth is dryer than a sandbox in summer and each passing moment only leads to the next. Not to mention everything I eat tastes like cardboard and not because of the restricted diet.

“Today is just one of those days,” I remind myself. Not every day is going to be cheery and I have to remember all the good that has happened over the past two weeks.

Like the fact I started working. It’s only part-time and it will be a while before I qualify for benefits, but it’s going well and it’s a huge step to being able to take care of myself. Also, my volunteering at the surf school has led to picking up some private lessons. I love working with the kids. Passing on my love of surfing to them feels like a gift. I’m thrilled with how I’m making a life for myself here in Virginia Beach, but I know it would be sweeter if I could share it with Lucas. Each step I make toward making my own life here means I’m building the life we can lead together when he comes back.

And the biggest shocker? Lisa called me to help out on a few occasions with Mason. He even slept over one night. I know Lucas would be as happy as I am that his family is supporting each other, but he doesn’t know.

Lisa reaching out means she views me as someone she can rely on. That Mason can rely on. And that is the best feeling in the world. For once, no one is viewing me as the weak, sick girl who needs to be taken care of. I’m the strong one who can take care of someone else.

This marriage, being part of this program, isn’t a short-term gig anymore. When Lucas comes home, I fully intend to talk to him about my interest in looking past the one-year commitment. I still want to be independent, able to take care of myself, but I want to do that standing at his side.

Speaking of... my gaze falls to the reading log I need to sign for Mason. With all the technology that exists and that schools make the kids use, like Google Classroom, I can’t believe they still send home a paper form for parents to sign. This could easily be done online. But the school year will be over in two weeks. Maybe the school has a suggestion box. I could make the recommendation for next year.

I can’t believe it’s already mid-June. What Mason does over the summer? Camp? Vacation? I bite the corner of my bottom lip. Should talk to Lucas about it, come up with a plan in case he has to spend time here. Maybe we could all do something together, take a mini vacation. I’ve never been to New York.

My phone rings and I reach across the table and grab it, hope making my heart quicken. “Lucas?”

“Sorry, no. Mrs. Craiger, it’s Dr. Patel.”

Crap. This can’t be good. She didn’t look so enthused during my appointment yesterday. I’d hoped she was just having a bad day or something. “Hi. I thought maybe it was my husband.”

“I understand.” She pauses for a moment, then continues. “Mrs. Craiger, some of your test results came back yesterday and I’m a bit concerned. I’d like you to come into the office today. We have an imaging facility on the first floor. I think we need to get a better look at what’s going on.”

My throat closes up and tears prick at the corner of my eyes. I take a deep breath and try not to get too ahead of myself. “Does it have to be today?”

There’s another pause. “Yes. I do feel it’s urgent enough you get in right away. I don’t want to panic you, but this isn’t something that can be put off.”

The fingers of my free hand curl into a fist and slam against the table. Yeah, today is one of those really fucking sucky days. And just when I started to think I’d be able to actually have the life I wanted. “What time?”

“Come around noon. You might have to wait. We’re squeezing you in.”

“Will do.” What else can I say? After everything I’ve been through, no way am I going to prolong whatever imaging or tests the doctor needs to run. The sooner the tests are done, the sooner I have meds that can help, the sooner I feel better.

At least the appointment is early. I’ll have plenty of time to pick Mason up from school. Lisa got stuck with some urgent appointment and asked if I’d step in. Hopefully, the appointment’s not with her lawyer. Wouldn’t that be typical of the day I’m having if I helped Lisa take custody of Mason away from Lucas?

The doctor hangs up and the last of my appetite drops like a stone while my stress levels go through the roof. That was definitely not the call I needed today. Maybe I should forget the idea of traveling to New York.

Three hours later and I’m still sitting in the godforsaken waiting room. Screw the lime-green paint. I know they use it in waiting rooms because it’s supposed to remind you of nature and make you happy. It’s not cheery, though. It’s only irritating. I get that they’re squeezing me in, but doesn’t anyone realize I have a life? That I have other obligations? That I’m a complete person, not just a case of Crohn’s.

I glance once more at the clock on the wall. I need to leave in thirty minutes to reach Mason’s school in time. I drum my nails against the wooden armrest. Seriously, how much longer is this going to take?

The nurse comes out from the back holding a folder and I sit forward on my seat and pick up my purse. She calls out someone else’s name and I collapse back in my chair as a middle-aged man wearing mom jeans follows her into the back. We play out this same scenario three more times. How many more times will we do it? The waiting room is full. I have no idea how many of these people are going to be called in before me. At this rate, I’m going to walk out of here an old woman.

Fifteen more minutes pass. My heel taps against the floor and my temples pound. I have to make a choice. Either I walk out of here and hope the doctor can squeeze me in another day or I wait. If I leave, what more damage could happen if I need treatment but don’t get it as soon as possible? But if I wait, what do I do about Mason? It strikes me how very much alone I am here with Lucas gone. It doesn’t just suck to be alone. It hurts. I curl over, holding my stomach.

Lucas’s words from when he was leaving come back to me. Reach out. Call Madge or Taya or Inara. Maybe I’m not alone. At least, not totally. I pull out my phone. The phone rings a couple of times before the call connects. “Inara?”

“Hey, Riley.” She sounds happy to hear from me and I feel some tension leave my shoulders.

“Don’t mean to be a bother, but I’m kind of in a jam.” I grimace, hating having to rely on someone else, hating feeling like I’m unreliable, especially when it comes to Mason.

“Sure, what do you need?”

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