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“He’s... cute.” She blushes a little. “Why am I looking at him?”

“Because looking at your mother would defeat the purpose. It’ll just make you angry.”

Her shoulders slump forward. We take some deep breaths and just remain out on the water for a few minutes, hoping the spell will pass. Thank God her mom caught me before we headed into the waves. What if she hadn’t said anything?

Tara might have been even more embarrassed if everyone panicked, not knowing what was going on. Or she could’ve gotten hurt by pushing too hard. What if she’d gotten lost in the mix? Sure, there are only seven kids to two instructors, but things happen.

My gaze travels back to my husband. Maybe I’m the reason I was embarrassed today. No one had even mentioned or hinted at anything that made me feel less than. And they had all known before I found out the information was shared.

“What if he’d been deployed and no one had any idea?”

“Huh?”

My eyes widen and I whip my head back toward Tara, realizing I’d asked myself that question out loud. “Sorry, nothing. So, how are you feeling?”

“Not a whole lot better.”

“Well, we are just about done, anyway. Try to paddle on your stomach toward shore. Keep looking at the man and keep a focal point. Usually staring off at one solid thing in the distance helps with balance. I’ll stay by your side in case you need anything.”

She nods and adjusts herself, and a few minutes later we are back on shore.

Lucas waves to the group, probably goodbye, and starts walking toward me. I turn toward my car. No sense in letting everyone hear our business. Certain things should be done in private. And I’m still angry about the situation, though not as much at him anymore. But I still need some time.

Lucas meets me halfway. “Riley? We need to talk.”

I stop and turn. He looks down at the sand, then out at the ocean. Anywhere but at me. This can’t be good. “I get you’re angry and I’m sorry, but this is about work. I’m leaving for training. There are some things we need to go over.”

For a second, the words don’t register. Then they hit and I feel my shoulders sag. “Leaving? For how long?”

“Three weeks. Could be longer. Sometimes we bounce from one training to the next. Other times we may be needed somewhere else and are sent out on a mission.” He looks up into my eyes now.

I can do three weeks. Even more. No problem. As long as I know when he’ll be back. “But you’ll let me know?”

“No, not always.” He takes my board from me and we continue walking toward the parking area. “I’ll call when I can, but to be honest, it might only be once or twice. Can’t say any more. Part of the job. Part of this life.”

I glance behind me at the Gold Star family kids on the beach. They’d all had a conversation like this. Someone told them they were leaving, but their someone never came back. The reality of what Lucas does hits me like a tidal wave. This is what Marge, Taya, and Inara were talking about. This sucker punch to the gut of not knowing where my husband will be or even if he’s okay. “Oh.”

“I have to go home and pack.” He pauses a moment, then looks at me with a questioning expression on his face. “Wanna help?”

My mouth can’t find the words. My lungs can’t find air.

All I can do is nod.

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