Page 23 of Assigned

“What are you thinking about?” he asks.

I clear my throat and step away. “Just remembering old times.”

His brow quirks, a lopsided smile forming on his lips. “Oh, yeah?”

I smack his shoulder. “Not like that.”

Totally like that.

We both chuckle and continue on. Of course the theme of the attraction happens to be creepy clowns. Like super creepy. Complete with recorded laughter like I heard outside. Only the dark, cramped space heightens the fear factor. My mouth goes dry and my pulse begins to race. “Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. Should’ve opted for the Ferris wheel.”

“We can go there next if you want.” He smiles down at me.

I nod, trying to be brave, but feel my lower lip tremble. Suddenly, Lucas is pulling me through the fun house as if trying to get us out of there like his life depended on it. Not that I mind. Definitely didn’t need a repeat performance of sophomore year. Then again, my hunky husband tossing me over his shoulder would be kinda hot.

Ugh. Why do I keep going there? I’m happy that we’re friends, but I’m not sure I can chance anything more. There’d be no way to keep my Crohn’s a secret, and once that’s out, well, forget about it.

We blow through the exit and are climbing into the chair for the Ferris wheel fifteen minutes later. Lucas hasn’t released my hand, nor do I want him to. I don’t mind the sideways glances either. Or how close he stands to me.

He helps me in and the attendant secures the metal bar. We begin to climb and the sight is amazing. “The moon is so bright.”

“Um-hum.”

Below us, throngs of people move around, and I can’t believe how many are actually here. Crowded is an overstatement. Lucas extends his arm over the back of our seat and I scooch in closer, resting my head on his chest. It feels like it belongs there, like the most natural thing in the world.

His heart is thudding fast.

Neither of us says a word and we just take in the moment. I’m filled with both excitement and anticipation and a whole hell of a lot of nerves. I expected to be attracted to my husband. Hell, we were super passionate when we dated. But I didn’t think he’d feel that way about me. Not after the way I just let our relationship go, and didn’t bother to contradict my father when he said Lucas wasn’t good enough for me.

But it appears I’m wrong.

When I look up, he meets my gaze and holds it, inching his lips closer to mine. Lips I miss. They seem to be one of the few things about him that haven’t changed, and I want to get lost in them. I know I shouldn’t. I know it’s opening a door I might not be able to close. I say it anyway. “Kiss me?”

And he does. Softly.

Too soft, almost as if he’s afraid.

His hand rests below my ear, his thumb caressing my cheek as he deepens the kiss. I reach up and grab his head, pulling him closer, my tongue dancing with his. God, how I missed this. How I missed him.

But then everything comes to a screeching halt. And not because of the ride.

My body tenses as his fingers dip below the hem of my shirt. No, I’m not ready for him to discover the rough skin from my scars. Or explain to him how I ended up with both a colostomy and ileostomy bag for a while after one of my surgeries. Or how I had my intestines resected.

Not yet anyway.

So, I break our kiss and pull away. “Luc, I’m not sure we should go any further than kissing.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean... shit.” He leans back. “Didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

The hurt in his eyes twists my heart. It’s familiar. Not as deep as the day I broke his heart, but still recognizable. Time to ease the tension. “Don’t apologize. We have history. It’s familiar. I just don’t want to jump into anything.”

He laughs. “Yeah, we aren’t teenagers anymore, even if we were just making out like them.”

I rest my head against his shoulder and can’t help but smile. Truly smile. Maybe people do get second chances.

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