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“Then may I ask why you’re looking to leave the program?”

My fingers tighten around the phone. No sense in beating around the bush. I suck in a deep breath and try to center myself. This is for the best of everyone, not just me. “Lieutenant Graham, the marriage is not working. There’s too much history there, too much with the family Lucas already has. The stress is affecting my health and impeding my ability to control my illness. I’m sorry, but I do think it’s in everybody’s best interest for the marriage to end.”

He grunts.

I clear my throat. “I’m sure you got the therapy notes from our session. There is a custody hearing going on as well. Lucas’s ex-wife hasn’t taken to me. I don’t want to bring more harm to a young child if I can help it. I volunteer with a program that helps Gold Star families. I’ve seen how much kids in military families deal with.”

He sighs. “I understand. We do need you to come by and sign the paperwork.”

“Of course.” I listen as he goes into detail about how my benefits will cease immediately, along with some other legal stuff, almost as if he’s trying to find any source of hope I might reconsider. Not that he knows Lucas or me or what our love means to me. He just wants to make sure the program succeeds.

I disconnect the call and toss the phone aside, allowing the tears welling up in my eyes to finally fall. My shoulders shake and I rest my head against my knees, curling into a tight ball.

This will hurt Lucas. I hate that. But if I stay, I’ll be hurting Mason, too, and hurting that little boy means hurting Lucas even more. There’s not much I can do about it. Lisa hates my guts and has from the second she laid eyes on me. Nothing is going to change that, and as long as I’m in the picture, she’s going to push to keep Mason away from Lucas. I’ve seen the way that little boy looks at his father and the way Lucas looks at him. I would never ever intentionally do anything to take that away from either of them, not even for the true love that I think I’ve found. Not when it means risking a little boy’s happiness.

I force myself up onto shaky legs. Once I’ve packed everything up, I grab my board and head back to my car. After brushing off the sand sticking to my calves, I swap my sandals for sneakers and jump into the driver’s seat.

Time to leave what I’ve built here behind. There’s one more call I have to make. The one I’d fought so hard not to need to do, but one thing I’ve learned is that sometimes we all need a little help, someone to guide us through choppy waters. Someone grounded to focus on as we maneuver toward shore.

When the click of the call connecting cuts through the speakers, I suck in a sharp breath and say, “Hi, Mom. I’m coming home.”

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