Page 37 of Falling for Autumn Again

I pull in a shaky breath. I think Meg Miller Jex is a very smart woman. She has come to realize in the last three days that her leaving is a bit triggering for me. She didn’t know my story with Ezra, but now that she does, she sees the same me—only ultra-clear.

“Thanks,” I tell her, “for forgiving me.” My voice feels small when I add, “And for coming back.”

“I’ll come back as long as you come visit,” she says.

“Ugh. I hate that this goodbye is over the phone. I’m so sorry, I should have driven you to the airport.”

“We both know you couldn’t. There’s a lot to do on the farm before October. I get it.”

And she does. Because Meg Miller—forget the Jex—is the best friend a girl could have. And if I didn’t love Kal so much, I’d hate him for stealing her heart and taking her away to Hawaii.

“So,” Meg says, which sounds a whole lot like a conversation starter… but I can hear the airport noises in the background and I know her plane leaves soon. “What are you going to do about Ezra?”

Before I can craft a planned and calculated response, I answer. It’s not my fault, it’s Meg! My mouth has no filter when it comes to her. Had she known to ask me about Ezra two years ago, I would have spilled my guts to her then too. “Avoid him like the plague.”

“You can’t avoid him, Autumn. You need to work with him to get your bistro built.”

I stare at my ceiling, knowing I should be up already. Knowing there’s work to do. “I know,” I say—because I know that too. I can’t avoid him. No matter that I want to. Why did he ever come back? “I thought he’d gotten married,” I tell her.

And as if she were my personal counselor, she says, “And how did you feel about that?”

“I thought I felt fine. Until I saw him. I mean, I didn’t love the idea, but I’d resigned that we’d both moved on. I didn’t send him away to be miserable.”

“You’ve been different with him around. Angry, almost.”

Almostis not an accurate term. "Yeah," I say.

“Why, sweetie?”

“Because Meg. I got him out. I got him away from his Dad. Why would he come back?” A shaky breath falls from my lips.

“And?” she whispers.

Isn’t that enough? But she knows me too well and I’ve told her too much.

I breathe in, filling my lungs, and tell her what she alreadyknows. “Andmy heart can break again. Not like it did when Ezra left. Anger is my only defense. I was doing fine and then—”

“And then you saw him,” she says.

“And then I saw him,” I say.

“But what if anger is only fueling the pain?”

That can’t be right. Anger and avoidance are keeping me from getting hurt again. “I don’t—”

“Crap,” she says, interrupting me. “My plane is boarding. I have to go. I’m so sorry, Autumn. Can we talk later?”

“Yeah. Later. Tell Kal he owes me for the rest of his life.”

“Oh, he knows it.”

Chapter Seventeen

Autumn

I amhappy to work in the south end of the field.Alone. I still have half a dozen boxes of saplings to plant, and there is plenty to do at the north end—almost a mile away from me and where most of the action takes place come October.

So, why a four-wheeler would come barreling my way, I don’t know. My heart slows its crazy pace when I see the second—it’s just Dessie and Don.Whew.

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