Page 18 of Falling for Autumn Again

I mean, she is crying hysterically, so ah… yeah—her.

She backs up into the working part of my little kitchen and snatches a hold of the end of my entire paper towel roll. She trudges back into the little dining space, never bothering to rip the towel off. She brings the whole roll in with her, all stretched out. It's as long as an eight-foot giant. She holds the end to her nose and blows.

“That is the saddest story I’ve ever heard.”

I swallow, my throat throbbing as I hold back my own grief. “It is not. We just watchedAn Affair to Remember.”

“It is too and it’s so much worse because it happened toyou.” She dabs at her eyes and hiccups.

“Calm down,” I hush, as if she’s going to embarrass me in front of my guy Harry.

“He still doesn’t know?” she asks, running her paper towel line beneath her nose.

“I don’t know what Ezra knows.”

“Wait.” She drops her hand, her towel line going with it. “Are you mad at him?”

I shouldn’t be. I have no right to be. I know this. At least the sane part of my brain knows it.

I clear my throat. If anyone in this world won't judge me, it's Meg. "Ezra left. I know I couldn't go with him and I know he needed to go. But he went and did all the things we'd planned to do together.” My eyes sting with unshed tears. I wanted Ezra to do all those things. I’m so very proud of him. But missing it all, missing him, it still hurts. “I stayed home, never changing, not crossing one item off on my adventure list. I even have the same job, Meg. The same job that we did together back in high school." I must look pathetic to him.

“Not exactly the same,” she says. “You’re about to have your own bistro. You manage things now.”

“Runa bistro. It isn’t mine. Not really.” I shake my head andwander into the living room, where I plop myself onto the couch. “I even heard he got engaged—and I’m assuming married. That’s usually what comes after a proposal. After his engagement announcement, I stopped using Summer’s social media to stalk him.” Yep, when Ezra looks at me, he must feel like he dodged a bullet.

“Oh, Autumn.” Meg sits beside me, rubbing my leg with her palm.

“I know.” I roll my neck, peering up at the ceiling. “It’s so utterly pathetic.”

“How long ago was that? His announcement?”

I sigh and turn my head so that I’m facing her. “Three years.”

“That’s a long time ago.”

“It’s a lot shorter than ten years,” I say.

“I didn’t see a ring.” She tilts her head, trying to make eye contact with me.

Like a child throwing a tantrum, I refuse to give in. I may not sit here and sob, but that doesn’t mean I can’t throw my own kind of fit.

I didn’t see a ring either. But I don’t say that. I say exactly the opposite of how I feel. “It doesn’t matter.”

“I think it does.” Her fingers cup around mine. “He didn’t know about your dad.”

I swallow, sit up, and study Meg. “How do you know that?”

“He asked about your family while you were in the office. When I didn’t mention your dad, he asked about him.”

I lick my lips. So he never found out. I always wondered if he’d put the clues together. Or if someone ever told him.

I don’t know how to describe it. There should be a word for doing your very best to make sure someone never discovers all your secrets only to wish, at the exact same time, that they would have.

Sophomore Year

Fall

Autumn

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