Page 13 of Falling for Autumn Again

I huff, not even remembering the story I gave to Dessie all those years ago. “That was ten years ago. Does it even matter? I don’t even know him.”

“Fine,” she says, drawing out the word. “Then what’s the big deal? Treat him like any other business partner. Treat him like the stranger you’d thought he’d be. What’s the big deal, darlin’?”

It’s not a big deal. Not at all. I can work with anyone.Even Ezra Bennett.

I sigh—not meaning one word of the deceptive thought.

With that, Dessie is done. She goes back to her day off, to her visit with her daughter and grandkids, leaving me to deal with Ezra.

I just need a minute. Or twenty.

I’m not sitting in here watching Harry Styles videos on my phone to keep from having a mental breakdown. I’m not listening to “As It Was” over and over again to avoid a conversation with Ezra…

Okay, maybe I am. But I do this before every important event in my life. It puts me in my Zen and gets me ready to go. This event happens to beveryimportant. So I need double the Harry.

A singer goes through scales, warming up their voice. An athlete stretches their limbs and muscles. A chef sharpens their knives.

I watch Harry Styles. It’s my thing.

I’mnothiding.

The door to the office creaks open and Meg pokes her head inside. She opens her mouth, but seeing me sitting, phone out, she steps into the small one-room space. Poking her head back outside, I hear her say, “One second. She’ll be right out.” With the door shut, she rounds on me. “Did you talk to Dessie?”

“Yep.” I pop that “p” so loud there is no missing how overjoyed I am.

She takes three steps closer and I pause my video of Harry dressed like a cowboy, sitting on the back of a white steed, to look up at her. It’s a look that says,Is this important? I’m in the middle of something.

“And?” she says.

“She hired him.” I blink, slow and once. “Without even talking to me.”

Meg clamps her teeth onto her bottom lip and sits across from me. “We’ve never talked about him.”

And we aren’t going to. I turn back to Harry—who I am certain would understand the situation and take my side. I press play because Harry is about to ride off into the sunset, and I don’t want to miss it.

“Autumn,” she says, smacking my knee. “Stop watching Harry Styles videos and talk to me!” She hasn’t even seen my phone. Sometimes my very sensible friend is psychic. A super adorable, super tame, super intuitivepsychic.

“How is Kal surviving without you? He doesn’t like separation. He’s kind of like a puppy that way.”

“Oh, no. We aren’t talking about me. We’re talking about you andhim. For once in your life, Autumn Green—talk!” She slapsmy knee once more.Violence—I never would have guessed Meg could resort to something so crass. “Tell me about Ezra.”

“You don’t have enough time left in Love.”

Her brows lift, and they might get stuck up there if she isn’t careful. It’s more than I planned to say. But that’s Meg for you. She swooped into town two years ago, became the bestie of my life, someone I can’t live without, and now she’s swooping out. Hmmm… reminds me of someone else I know.

“Autumn,” she says, peeling me open like an orange. Because I’m no onion, I’m sweet—and a little sour when I need to be. Just like an orange.

“We dated.” I shrug, glancing out the window where a stupidly hot, all-grown-up Ezra Bennett stands outside. Why didn’t God curse him with warts and early pattern baldness? Don’t I deserve that? Have I not done enough good deeds to earn baldness on Ezra’s behalf?

Sure, he probably doesn’t deserve it. But I need it. My sanity needs a bald Ezra.

“And…” she coaxes.

I bring my gaze back to Meg. "For a long time." I swallow. "Like two years in high school. And then," I say before she can prod me on again, "we made plans." My heart isn't flesh and spongy. It's hardened clay, and with every word, a crack forms, breaking it apart a little bit more. "We planned to go to college in New York together. He'd study architecture—which clearly he did."

Oof, those words taste bad in my mouth. He did everything we always said we wanted to do while I’ve done nothing. I have nothing to show for my life. See why I need Ezra to at least go bald?

“I was supposed to go to culinary school. We’d earn our degrees, and then”—I pull in a shaky breath, angry that after ten years this still hurts—“we’d get married.”

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