Page 73 of The Light We Lost

“I don’t know.” She sniffled, still facing away from me. “I’m sorry, I promise I tried to make it. But everythinghurts, and nothing I do is helping.”

“Okay, what’s going on? Tell me what hurts.”

“I think—” Her shoulders shuddered, her voice choppy. “I don’t think I am, but I don’t know. I don’t know if that’s what this is, but I didn’t know. I swear.”

Her head shook back and forth, as though she was in denial, quietly crying as she curled her legs tighter to her chest. Panic raced through me. I was desperate to comfort her but didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t making sense, and I didn’t want to hurt her more.

Shit.I should’ve come home sooner. I slid my arms between her and the bed, her skin slick against mine, and scooped her up.

“W-what are you doing?”

My gaze snagged on the towel, and I blinked hard before folding it in on itself. Voice steady, I said, “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“What?” she protested, her frame tensing in my arms as I grabbed my truck keys off the counter. “You can’t drive. You promised me you wouldn’t when you drink—”

“I’m fine,” I pressed, ignoring the shame coating my skin. Later, I’d let myself drown in how I’d failed Indy, but right now I had to stay afloat. “My last drink was before the game—I can barely feel it now. There’s an emergency room just a couple blocks away.”

I braced myself for her to argue and tell me she could drive, or at least walk on her own, but she stayed quiet. After getting her into the passenger seat of my truck, I jogged to the driver’s side and hopped in, revving the engine to life.

Starting down the road, I stole a glance at Indy. Her frame was rigid, her hands clenched on her lap. I planned to reach for her, to hold her and assure her everything was okay. But before I could, there was a siren and a flash of blue-and-red lights. Indy shuddered a sob, and when she met my gaze, I could’ve sworn I saw something in her flicker out.

What had I done?

ChapterThirty-Four

Indy—Now

Something had possessed my body and gone on a rampage.

It was the only explanation I could give for waking up in a bed that wasn’t mine, wrapped in a shirt three sizes too big, curled up beside a cat—okay, that was mine. The only reason I hadn’t sprinted out of the bedroom and run barefoot down the dirt road was because there wasn’t a strange man beside me.

But I was certain there was a strange man whistling down the hall.

Careful not to alert anyone I was awake, I looked around the room, slowly absorbing my surroundings. It was spacious, the log walls and deep green flannel curtains creating a cozy, rustic feel. I might’ve appreciated the space more had I not realized where I was.

Heart racing and belly filling with dread, I wrung my fingers through my hair as I remembered the choices I’d made last night that led me here.Indy Tyler, you are a fool. An absolute fool who deserves soggy Lucky Charms and cold coffee—

“Either you’re having a panic attack or you’re thinking about me naked again,” a smooth voice taunted, and if I dared let myself look, I knew I’d see him standing in the doorway. “Unless there’s another reason you’re breathing all heavy. You got asthma or something?”

I groaned, wishing I’d wither away into dust. Choosing the next best thing, I pulled the blanket over my head. Nolan’s blanket. I was lying in Nolan’s bed. I was wearing his shirt. And Genny was here. Oh, good hell, I’d told him I couldn’t sleep without my cat. Even worse, when I’d heard him call me his wife, a deprived part of me liked it—

“Relax,” Nolan said from outside my cocoon of safety, his voice closer than before. “You and Genny took the bed. I slept in the living room. Nothing happened.”

That wasn’t true. We might have slept separately and not broken any physical boundaries, but something had happened last night. Lines had been crossed, weaknesses revealed.

“Well,” he continued, oblivious I was on the brink of a mental breakdown, “unless we’re counting the part where you tried to lure me into bed early this morning. You were like a little siren. You tried all sorts of tactics, told me you’d lost your foot and needed help finding it—”

I laughed, lifting the blanket off my head. “You’re such a liar.”

“It’s true.” He grinned, a sight that had me blushing for an entirely different reason. “You specifically told me if I didn’t climb into bednakedand help you find your foot, it would be my fault if you had to get a wooden peg leg. Pretty sure you said your pirate name would be Peachy Parrot—”

I chucked a pillow at him, and he laughed, catching it easily. I couldn’t help but welcome the warmth in my chest, appreciating his attempt at easing my nerves.

He set the pillow at the edge of the bed, openly assessing me. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright.” My head throbbed, and if I moved too quickly, my stomach turned, but I was better off than I’d expected. On extra-long days, my favorite way to unwind was with a small glass of wine, but that was the extent of my drinking. Alcohol had stolen too much from me, and I didn’t trust myself enough to let go and drink. Maybe the fact I was sitting in Nolan’s bed was proof I shouldn’t . . . but I didn’t feel that way. “Thank you for taking care of me last night.” My memory was fuzzy, but I’d never forget how he’d helped me not oncebut twice when I’d gotten sick. “I’ll buy you new sheets, or even a mattress. Or pay for whatever therapy you might need if I traumatized you last night.”

The corner of his mouth lifted, but there was something sad in his eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder if his mind lay where mine did. If he was thinking of when he hadn’t been there, when I hadn’t gone to him for help. “How about you eat some breakfast instead? Then we’ll call it even.”

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