Page 6 of The Light We Lost

“I have to go. I’ll call you later.”

I hung up before she could respond, refusing to talk about this right now. Accepting defeat, I sunk into my chair and gathered my things, taking care tograb my wooden star. It was hand carved, a gift Dad had mailed me after I’d graduated this May with my bachelor’s degree in sports management.

He hadn’t attended my graduation, nor given me an explanation for the gift, but I’d felt his pride even with thousands of miles between us. Just the same, I’d feel his disappointment when he realized I’d failed again.

With my desk cleared, I readied myself to do who knew what just as Keelie, the receptionist, walked by and handed me my mail. This could be the last mail I ever received here, and I might’ve felt sorry for myself had I not noticed the return address. I blew out a shaky breath, and for a moment, I was dragged beneath the surface I was tirelessly fighting to stay above.

It was nothing. It was probably a prank from someone from my hometown. But no matter the lies I fed myself, my fingers trembled as I opened and read the letter, the thin thread holding my life together unraveling with each word.

After reading it three times, and accepting it wasn’t going to change, I let out a low curse. Fiery rage and what might’ve been sorrow raced through me, and I didn’t let myself think as I grabbed my phone.

“I’ll do it,” I said as soon as my sister picked up. “Tell Mom and Dad I’ll run the diner for them while they’re away.”

“Wait, what? You’re going to Wallowpine?” Her voice was thick with disbelief, like she never believed she’d live to see the day. “Does he . . . doesheknow you’re coming home?”

Before I could answer her, Eli sat on the edge of my desk. “You’re heading out, huh?” He shrugged, eyeing my now-empty desk as I told Auburn I’d call her later and hung up. “Did you decide to save us both the time and drop out of the interview?”

“You wish, thumb-sucker.” I gave him a smug look, holding his gaze as I unpacked my things, setting the star back onto my desk. I’d given my entire future to a man once before, and I’d lost it all. I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

I wasn’t going home. I was going back to the life I’d left behind. And it wasn’t to tie up loose ends. It was to cut them off entirely.

I didn’t care if there wasn’t a happy ending.

Chapter Three

Nolan—Now

Iwas a missing man.

Or at least anyone would’ve believed I was with the way my phone was going off. It rang again, and I denied my brother’s call, if only to get under his skin. If Brooks insisted on driving me insane, I might as well have some fun with it. Any minute I expected to see him barreling through town in search of me. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he convinced his wife and daughter to cut out pictures of me and glue them to milk cartons.

My brother knew where I was.

He just didn’t like it.

I climbed out of my truck and slammed the door. It was now or never. My phone rang and I pulled it out, ready to remind Brooks I was a grown man. Except it wasn’t my brother’s name on the screen. It was Jake.

I glanced around the parking lot of Ye Olde Trusty Tavern, feeling like I’d been caught. It was early September, so with the weather cooling down and hunting season beginning, it was no surprise to see the lot full to the brim. Even from outside, I could hear the music beating through the wooden frame of the town’s bar. The night was young, and it was time for bad decisions.

But I’d already let too many people down.

“Yeah?” I answered—Jake wasn’t one for formality.

“I know you aren’t about to step foot inside that bar.”

I wasn’t surprised he knew where I was. In a town of less than two thousand, word traveled faster than a wildfire in Arizona. No news was too small. Secrets were hard to come by, and any gossip was considered golden. “I’m not going to drink.”

He snorted. “No. You’re up to something much more stupid.”

I cracked a grin, not surprised he’d call it as it was. I knew it was stupid—I didn’t care. “Go home,” I said, spotting where he was parked across the street. “It’s past your bedtime. If it gets any darker, you’ll have to wait until morning to drive home.”

“I pray whoever you hit on inside has a few drinks in. Lord knows they’ll need it to see past your ugly-ass face.”

I laughed, flipping Jake off as he drove past me and in the direction of his home. “See you tomorrow, you old geezer.” With that, I hung up and turned off my phone. I didn’t need anything else distracting me from what I was about to do.

I climbed the wooden porch steps, the door creaking as I pulled it open. I stepped into the bar, and despite my insistence, the smell of whiskey and the remnants of regret had me questioning what the hell I was doing. It was a wide-open space, rows of pendant lights dangling from the ceiling and shining on the customers throughout the bar. There was a mix of folks I’d known my entire life, as well as hunters or strangers simply passing through. Darts were being thrown at targets on the walls, wedged between fluorescent Coors and Jack Daniels signs. Country music played on the overhead speakers, intertwined with the sound of boots smacking against the wood floor and hollers from couples dancing across the room.

I took a step backwards, my back knocking against the front door. It had been over a year since I stepped foot within these walls. A year since I accepted, drinking or not, I had to stop wasting my days away in this bar. Had to stop torturing myself with the sweet addictive pain of the memories that dwelled here. I hadn’t thought it would be a big deal to come back, but I was wrong—

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