Page 111 of The Light We Lost

I set my forehead against his, savoring the feel of his fingers dusting over my back as I continued, “I know you believe relying on someone is a bad thing, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Do you think I haven’t relied on you this past month?” I smiled softly, emotion in my voice. “You’ve carried me. You helped me find peace, feel things I thought I’d never experience again. You broughtcolor back into my life. Leaning on one another doesn’t make us weak or a burden. That’s love, Nolan. And that’s the type of life I want.”

I didn’t know what lay ahead. I had no job. No car. Honestly, I had zero clue what I wanted to do with myself or what direction my life was heading in. If I’d ever be brave enough to try for kids. But I knew who I wanted to find out with.

That was scary. But it was exciting too.

But as Nolan sat there, silently watching me, I could see he was struggling to grasp the future. His earlier confidence made sense now—he’d thought we only had a month together. He never imagined he’d get more time. He wanted me. Us. But he’d fallen into the habit of not taking what he wanted.

That just wouldn’t do.

I hummed and pushed my hands up his chest, nothing shy about the way I was touching him. “You made me want more.” My voice was a rasp, warmth coiling in my stomach just thinking about when he’d put me on his worktable and touched me in a way I’d never experienced. Made me envision something I thought long gone. “You promised to give it to me, and I intend to hold you to that. But I realize that might be impossible without telling you what it is you’re giving me.”

The corner of his mouth twitched, and I smiled as I slowly watched the hesitation ease from his eyes. This wasn’t over. It could take months, maybe even years, before Nolan saw himself clearly, but we’d get there.

“I’m surprised you’d take it easy on me.” His hands followed the curve of my thighs, stopping at my waist. “Figured you’d want to win.”

“Oh, I do.” I pushed my fingers through his hair, my chest against his. “But we’ll both win.”

His hands slipped under my shirt, palms roaming over my rib cage. “And what is it we win?”

My lips teased his. “You’ll have to stick around and find out,” I murmured, using the words he once used on me. He smiled and nipped at my bottom lip, lifting my shirt over my head. “I can’t tell you what our lives will look like. There are so many paths we could follow.” I gasped, arching my back as he kissed along my throat, a balance of teeth and tongue. “But I know whichever one we take,we can expect bumps along the way. It’ll be hard. There’s going to be sorrow and heartache. We’re going to fight.”

“More.” His voice was husky, his hands urgent as they worked behind my back. He unsnapped my bra, the straps slipping down my arms. “Tell me more, Indy.”

I let my bra fall between us and hooked my fingers beneath his shirt, pushing it over his head. “You’re going to make me mad.” My voice was breathless, my mind dizzy as his hands played with my breasts. “I’m going to drive you crazy. And maybe sometimes we’ll question why we’re doing this.”

He gripped my hips and lifted me off him, setting me on my feet. I kicked off my shoes, holding his gaze as he did the same. I reached for him as he did me, our hands dancing as we removed the remnants of our clothes. He hooked his arm around my waist, pulling me against him. His skin was feverish against mine, and seeing the desire in those addictive blue eyes, I was surprised he didn’t hasten this along.

Instead, his fingers swept up and down my spine. “What else?”

“Sometimes we’re going to be scared. Hopeless. We’re going to wonder if the sun will come up again.” Mouth dry, I set my hand on his chest, his heart wild beneath my palm. “But there’s going to be joy too. We’re going to feel like the luckiest people in the world. And we’re never going to be alone.” I pressed my lips to the tattoo on his chest, as though to seal my words. The same way he’d inked his love for me and our child into his skin. My touch traveled to his neck, and it wasn’t until I’d brought his lips down to mine that I whispered, “And through it all, I’m going to be your wife. Forever.”

He shuddered a breath and closed his eyes, as though my words physically affected him. I realized they had when he opened them—a tear pooled in the corner of his eye and spilled onto his cheek, the first I’d ever seen him cry. It wasn’t sorrow in his eyes. It was relief.

“I love you, Indy.” He held the back of my neck with his hand, fingers knotted in my hair. “I’ve loved you since the moment you threatened to break my hand if I didn’t stop stealing your Lucky Charms.” We shared a breathless laugh, andI smiled, tears streaming down my jaw. “And I’m going to steal them for the rest of our lives . . . but I promise for every one I take, I’ll give you ten.”

His lips met mine, and I kissed him slowly, melting into his touch. He swept me up in his arms, and I laughed, clinging to him as he ran through the back yard and stumbled into the house. And when he set me down in our bed and made love to me, I realized Nolan wasn’t the only one who wandered into the forest years ago, lost and alone. We’d found one another in the dark.

And we’d done it again.

Chapter Fifty-Six

Nolan—Now

There was cat hair on my boots.

Cat hair on my sleeve. My hat. My bed. Even my pillow wasn’t safe. Hell, if I shucked off my pants, I bet I’d find a hair or two on my boxers. The point was Genny’s hair was everywhere.

And so were Indy’s curly red strands.

It had been a month since she’d officially moved in. Since she’d put her foot down and told me she wasn’t leaving. I’d recognized the fire in her eyes and knew it didn’t matter what I said. She was staying. I realized in that moment it was okay that I doubted myself. That I was afraid, unsteady. If I’d trusted her that night in the forest a lifetime ago, I could trust her now. Believe her when she told me I could take what I wanted, that I deserved it even. I’d learned long ago a man could only withstand so much until he fell at the mercy of a good woman.

And I’d love to be at Indy’s mercy for the rest of my life.

Hands loose on the steering wheel, I turned into the empty parking lot of Ye Olde Trusty Tavern and parked my truck. I’d barely switched off the engine when my phone vibrated, and I shifted in the front seat to pull it out of my pocket, finding a text from Indy. It was pictures of paint samples. Since moving in, she’d wasted no time turning our house into a home. She’d swapped outdusty curtains with lacy ones. Replaced framed photos with updated pictures and hung colorful flower boxes from every window. Painted peaches on our bathroom walls. There was an ungodly number of fluffy pillows on our bed, but I loved the sight of her plopping down on them too much to care.

And with every update and ray of life she brought into our house, I could feel the shift within me too. I still had hard days. Days when, despite my antidepressant, I questioned myself. Second-guessed my worth and if I deserved happiness. But as I made those changes in our home, planting flowers and painting peaches beside Indy, I understood I was capable of good, even when I was battling my mind.

Before I could text her and ask what we were painting, she sent another.Let’s go to North Carolina. Attached was a photo of a sandy beach. Grinning, I shook my head. At least once a week she had a new idea. Last week it had been deep sea fishing in Alaska. I’d replied with a link with flights, to which she’d replied she’d changed her mind after remembering she didn’t like fish. I had no idea if Indy wanted to move to North Carolina or if she just wanted a little vacation there, but I texted,Start planning. I’ll be home soon.

---