Page 47 of The Light We Lost

And wasn’t that a scary thought.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Indy—Now

An elephant had flown back with us to Arizona.

No, an eight-ton mammal hadn’t crammed its way onto coach, making its fellow passengers tense and uncomfortable. But it had certainly felt that way between Nolan and me when we flew across the country, continuing even after we’d landed in Phoenix. The past twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind of emotions, and I assumed by Nolan’s silence, he was as exhausted as I was. He’d slept the entire flight to Arizona, and the bags beneath his eyes were so dark I felt guilty he still had to drive the four hours to Wallowpine.

I’d offered to drive, but he’d turned me down, telling me he’d get us home safely. I didn’t protest. Not only because I barely had the energy to keep my eyes open, but because I couldn’t believe I was going back to Wallowpine with Nolan in the first place. There was a time I would’ve given anything for that.

I was wearing the same leggings and oversized T-shirt as when I’d flown yesterday, but I couldn’t help but acknowledge I was not the same person who’d left Wallowpine. Neither of us were.

Nolan must’ve sensed the shift too, or perhaps he was finally ready to acknowledge the tension that had followed us home. “You said something last night—or was it early this morning?” He shook his headwith a tired smile. “I don’t know when you said it. The point is: I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.”

I picked at my nails, nervous. Where was this conversation going? Nothing I’d revealed last night, nor this morning, had been easy. We might’ve found somewhat steady ground, but we hadn’t taken a step forward. I hadn’t even told him about my talk with Evelyn, fearing how he’d take it.

“I have a lot of regrets. Made a lot of mistakes,” he continued as he drove down the interstate, maneuvering through Phoenix traffic. “My most recent is not appreciating being in New York City. With you. Instead, I was so worried my little brother was making a move on you that I became a miserable, territorial bastard.”

I snorted. “I wouldn’t call you a miserable, territorial bastard.”

“Levi told me I was. Among other things.”

I didn’t doubt Levi had told him that—I knew how brutally honest the Graham brothers were to each other. But I didn’t exactly blame him. If I saw Nolan dance with or kiss my sister, I’d yank her hair out.

“Like I was saying, you told me it wasn’t your fault I chose to sit by and let life happen to me. And you’re right. It’s no one’s fault but my own. And I’m not doing it anymore.”

“Oh.” I bit the corner of my lip, feeling guilty. I didn’t disagree with what I’d said to Nolan last night—but maybe saying it had been unfair. I’d lived in New York for three months, and the only things I’d seen were VLA and the New York Hawks stadium. “You’re not the only one who does it. I do too.”

“Oh, I know.” He winked. “You should stop too.”

I rolled my eyes, feeling nothing but amusement even though he was calling me out. He was right—I should stop. I might give it my all when it came to work, but there was so much I’d let slide, leaving it up to life. “Okay,” I agreed. “We can add it to our deal . . . work on it together.”

Nolan smiled, like the idea of us committing to something together excited him. But I should’ve known he was up to no good when he said, “Good, I’m glad we’re on the same page. Because you’ve got a hot date.”

“There’s no way in hell I’m getting out of this truck.” I clutched the seat, nails digging into the leather like my life depended on it. Was this my life? In no world had I ever expected to argue with Nolan about letting him fix me up with someone. “You may as well give up now and get inside.”

“C’mon, Indy,” Nolan coaxed from where he stood outside his truck, the driver’s door open. “All you’ve gotta do is take a step. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“I’m not afraid.” I wasn’t. When I was ready—and divorced—I’d start dating again. But I wasn’t doing it with Nolan in the same room. “I’m not sure what you planned, but I have no desire to go on a date at a community center,” I said, waving my hand at the building we’d been outside for the past twenty minutes.

“This is a fantastic establishment,” he claimed, and for the life of me I couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. “I bet if you give it a chance, you’ll find the next Mr. Indy Tyler inside.”

I snorted. I’d rather eat chicken shit. “How did you even find this place?” It was in Hillshire, the next town over from Wallowpine. The most exciting thing about Hillshire was the fact it had a Walmart, so I imagined Nolan must’ve looked at a book titledBest Place to Plot Revenge Against Your Wifeand picked here.

“I’ve been here a time or two with Jake.” Instead of telling me what for, he set his hands on the roof of his truck, leaning farther through the driver’s side doorway. “Get your butt out of the truck, and let’s go get you a date.”

“No.” I knew he was doing this because I’d foolishly admitted to him last night that I’d only ever been with him. Fat chance I’d ever let Nolan break my dry spell. “You get your ass in the truck and take me home.”

“Dammit, Indy.” But he grinned, letting me know he wasn’t all that annoyed. “You’re getting out of this truck. Whether that’s with a bit of dignity or kicking and screaming, that’s up to you.”

I gaped at him, my blood boiling. He might mean every word of his threat, but I was just as hardheaded as he was. “Take me home, Nolan.”

He rolled his bottom lip between his teeth. “You want me to take you home?” I nodded, giving him a look as though to sayduh. “Fine.” But instead of climbing in the truck, he closed his door.

Realizing his intentions, I reached for the latch to lock mine, but I was a second too late. Before I could so much as breathe, his hands were on my hips and I was tossed over his shoulder. “Nolan,” I screeched, beating my hands against his back as he reached into the truck and grabbed Genny’s carrier, bringing my poor girl inside to be tortured too. “You said you were taking me home! Take me home!”

“Oh, I am.” I swore there was an extra pep in his step. Bastard. “I’d take you home and never let you go if you asked nicely—but my daddy raised a gentleman, and I’m not taking any girl home without taking her on a date first.”

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