Page 39 of The Light We Lost

“Nolan?”

I shook my head, pushing away those thoughts, and lifted my gaze to hers. When had I turned to face her and not the game? “Yeah?”

“Is something wrong?”

I might’ve told her no, reminded her I wasn’t the one who looked like I had ants crawling over me, but I lost my train of thought when she wound a curl around her finger. My hand twitched on my thigh. Was her hair as soft as I remembered? I should find out. One little touch wouldn’t be so bad . . .

“Why are you looking at me funny?” She blinked slowly. “Is there a bug in my hair?”

I sat up and cleared my throat. I probably looked like a creep. I was about to fib and claim there had been a bug, except then I caught a glimpse of Indy’s smile. Saw the coyness in those brown eyes. Damn girl knew what she was doing.

She must’ve forgotten I liked playing games too.

I leaned over the armrest separating us, close enough the heat of her skin teased mine. A small bit of pride raced through me at the red blooming on her skin, her freckles darkening. Her eyes were wide, and she was holding her breath, like she didn’t know what the hell I was doing but she was too afraid to ask.

I licked the seam of my lips, tasting the little white lie there. It would be easy to say I had seen something in her hair. To make up an excuse to slip my fingers through her curls. Easy to convince myself I lived in a world where I had any right to exist alongside Indy, let alone touch her.

Before I could make a move, life was quick to put me back where I belonged. A familiar voice asked, “Why are you looking at Indy like you want to eat her?”

She jolted, her knees hitting mine, and I didn’t have to look up to confirm whose voice that belonged to. I’d heard it my entire life. “Levi!” Indy squealed, jumping out of her seat. “I was afraid you weren’t going to make it.”

“Traffic was terrible. I should’ve taken the subway.” He wrapped his arms around Indy’s waist, lifting her off her feet. “Thanks for inviting me.”

She invited him?

“Of course.” She beamed up at him, her hands on his chest as he set her down. “I figured you and Nolan would have fun. If I’d planned better, I would’ve tried to invite Brooks so the three of you could hang out.”

“Next time,” my younger brother said with his stupid smile, and I mumbled something along the lines of agreeing with him.

I wasn’t mad he was here. There might be five years between us, but he’d become my partner in crime—namely when we’d team up against Brooks together. I missed him. But when Indy was doing everything to keep her walls up with me, I struggled to see him as my little brother.

He was the man between me and my girl.

Shit, no. Not my girl.

Pushing aside the crazed caveman inside me, I stood and hugged him. “Do you want me to leave?” he whispered, making me feel like even more of a jackass.

“No, I’m glad you’re here.” I didn’t want him to think for a second that I didn’t want to be around him. We’d dealt enough with that growing up. “Momma Brooks is going to pitch a fit when I tell him about this.” I stepped back, putting my hands on his shoulders as I looked him over. He wore a black tee, dark jeans tucked in his biker boots. His hair was long enough to touch his shoulders, and despite being the youngest, he was the tallest by at least an inch now. “Geez—how many more tattoos did you get?”

Levi rolled his eyes, and I tugged on the end of his hair—he knew I didn’t give a shit about how many tattoos he had. But Indy must’ve thought I was serious. “I like them.” She waved a hand at him, as though trying to find the words. “You look very . . . mysterious and badass.”

He laughed, no doubt preening under the compliment. “Thanks. Do you have any ink?”

“No.” She shook her head, her gaze lingering on the tattoos coating his arms and edging onto his neck. “I can’t think of anything I want to put on me permanently.”

“Makes sense.” He bumped his elbow against mine. “I’ve been trying to convince Nolan and Brooks to get matching ones with me, but no one will do it. Nolan says one is enough for him.”

“Maybe someday.” I patted his shoulder and sat in my seat, ignoring the feeling of Indy’s gaze.

She was still standing, watching me. “I didn’t know you had a tattoo.”

I raised my shoulders. “There’s plenty you don’t know.”

I hadn’t meant it as anything but the simple truth—there was plenty about me she didn’t know, nor wanted to know—but I could see by the way her frame tightened she thought I’d meant it as a jab. Before I could take it back, she took her seat between us, immersing herself in conversation with Levi.

With a heavy breath, I turned my attention to the game. It had been a while since I’d watched one in person, even longer since I’d touched a ball. Years ago, the thought of baseball not being an everyday part of my life would’ve made me panic, but it didn’t now. I still enjoyed the sport, but after so many losses, I viewed it differently.

It was hard to love something that had cost you everything.

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