Page 38 of The Light We Lost

“Do what?”

He smoothed his hand down Genny’s back, all of his attention back on her. “Split custody of Eugene.”

I sputtered a laugh. “She’s my cat. I’m not sharing her with you.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. You gave herto me.”

“No. We were married. She was both of ours—”

“Exactly.” His blue eyes flickered with amusement. “She was ours, and since we’re still married, I’m entitled to some quality time with Eugene.”

My mouth hung open. Was he kidding or not? I used to be able to see through the many masks Nolan adorned, but I wasn’t privy to his secrets anymore. “What about when we get divorced?” I asked, playing along.

“Split her fifty-fifty.” He shrugged. “What’s that one Bible story? The one where two women both claim a baby is theirs, so the king orders them to split their time with the baby?”

“That’s not how the story goes, you asshole.” I laughed and swooped Genny out of his lap, thankful to see glorious clumps of cat hair littering Nolan’s jeans. “It was a test, but he ordered them to cut the baby in half. And you’re out of your mind if you think I’m cutting her in half.”

Nolan let out a deep laugh, holding his hands up. “Okay, okay—I’m sorry. I didn’t know that was how the story went.” But the grin he wore told me he wasn’t sorry at all. “You can’t really blame me for not knowing. I was more focused on how long you and I could sneak off from Sunday school before getting caught.”

My cheeks flamed, and I despised the fire coursing beneath my skin. We’d always gotten caught, but that hadn’t stopped us. Getting caught was half the fun of breaking the rules. It had been a long time since I’d felt that way. Felt so wrapped up in something I was willing to risk it all.

But that was a dangerous way to live.

I was relieved Nolan and I had shared a few laughs, eased some of the tension between us, but I needed to remember why I was doing this. I didn’t agree to this deal with him in hopes of becoming friends, not truly at least. I was here to make peace and move on. To right my wrongs, and finally be free of the weight of my past. I couldn’t afford to take risks or break the rules—I’d given up too much. I couldn’t let myself lose sight of the end goal.

I needed to make sure Nolan remembered it too.

Chapter Seventeen

Nolan—Now

“Come on, ump! Get your head out of your ass!”

A wave of fans clapped and shouted within the stadium, voicing their agreement with the disgruntled man standing in the row in front of mine. Sweat rimmed his hat, dripping onto the collar of his New York Hawk’s shirt as though he was one of the professionals playing on the field. Chugging his cup of beer, he staggered back into his seat, his frame tight as he continued to watch the game.

Coming here was a mistake.

The moment I invited myself on Indy’s trip, I knew I’d messed up. But seeing her leaving town had triggered something in me. Had me practically diving out of my truck and into the road to stop her. Even if she was just leaving temporarily for work, I knew better than to let her out of my sight.

Not until we’d finished what we set out to do.

Indy didn’t want me here. Didn’t particularly trust me around her. I’d told myself that beyond getting beneath her skin and seeing her squirm a little, my intentions for being here were innocent. I was here to watch baseball.

But that was before I’d spent any real time alone with her. Before I sat beside her, felt the nerves radiating off her as sure as the freckles on her skin. She’d beensilent most of the drive and flight. It was obvious from how she kept her earbuds in and avoided my gaze she was pretending she was anywhere else. With anyone else. Halfway through the flight, I regretted coming and planned to tell her I’d catch the next flight home and leave, but then . . . then Indy laughed.

Hell, that sounded dumb. But it was true. There was a wall between us, one she insisted on keeping in place. But when I’d given her shit over Eugene and she’d laughed, it felt like I finally breathed for the first time in years.

That was how I knew I’d screwed up.

I was an addict slowly coming undone. One taste of Indy’s laugh, and I was a man drawn in. One smile, and all I could think of was what I needed to do to earn another one. Even now, as I sat beside her in a noisy stadium, surrounded by fans, I struggled to notice anyone but her.

She wore blue jeans and a Boston Falcons T-shirt, something she’d changed into after stopping by her apartment—she’d insisted I stay in the hall—needing to drop Eugene off before the game. To my surprise, she’d let her hair out of its bun, confirming her curls still existed.

Beyond her hair, there was no other sign of her letting loose. Part of me suspected—even hoped—the timidness and hesitation she’d shown the past few days had been because she was in Wallowpine. But even states away, she remained the same.

She fidgeted in her seat, crossing and uncrossing her legs like she couldn’t get comfortable. The Falcons were up five runs, and she hadn’t clapped once tonight. It was unfair to compare, but before, she’d holler and cheer all nine innings—whether I was playing or not. Were her nerves because of me? I didn’t think so. Indy might have bitten her tongue and played nice with the crowd back in Wallowpine the past few days, but she hadn’t done that with me. I could tell she was still holding back, but she’d called me out on my shit.

Maybe it made me a masochist . . . but I loved it.

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