Page 24 of The Light We Lost

He lay beside me, lazily running his fingers through my hair as I stared up at the ceiling, at the green star stickers there. Our first night here, out of habit, I’d gone outside to see the night sky, only to realize the stars were barely visible through the city lights and smog. It had taken me off guard, but I’d tried to hide it. Nolan must’ve seen right through me, or perhaps he missed the view as much as I did, because the next night there were glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling.

I smiled to myself now, remembering how he turned me into a hysterical mess when he sang about stars shining for me from Coldplay’s song “Yellow.” I hadn’t known whether to laugh or cry at how off-key he was.

“Did you talk to your mom today?” he asked, and I shook my head, grateful he wasn’t looking at me. It was quiet between us, but I could hear him silently asking me more. He knew she didn’t support our marriage, but I hadn’t told him how it was affecting me. How each unanswered message further drove in the nail of her disappointment. But Nolan had enough to worry about and... it felt wrong to complain about my mom when his own had abandoned him when we were kids.

Humming, he slid one arm between my back and the mattress, the other over my stomach, and pulled me tight into his frame. “I wish I could tell you I regret making you my wife, but I don’t. Not ever.”

“Me neither,” I whispered. “Not ever.”

The mattress shifted at our feet, and I glanced up, smiling. “What should we name our cat?” I sat up, running my fingers through the little guy’s fur as he curled up at the foot of the bed. “I was thinking Oliver? We can call him Ollie—”

“Eugene.”

“No.” I laughed, stopping when Nolan didn’t join me.Lord save me, I’m going to end up with a cat named Eugene. “Why Eugene? We’re supposed to love him—not set him up to be bullied by the other cats.”

“It’s a perfect name.” He grinned, and I rolled my eyes as he put a hand on my shoulder and eased me onto my back. He knew he was going to win. And I didn’t care—I was grateful to see a bit of the light back in his eyes. “Think about it. All the other tomcats won’t know what to expect from a cat named Eugene. Then bam—they’ve got their asses kicked.”

I giggled, utterly helpless as Nolan crawled atop me. “Fine, you win. Eugene it is.”

“I’ll let you pick the next name.”

I raised my brow. “Just how many cats do you plan on having?”

“Not cats.” He kissed my cheek and left a trail of heat down my skin, not stopping until his lips hovered over my stomach. “Babies.”

I choked on a laugh, the noise mixed with nerves. “Great. I’ll keep that in mind for in ten years.”

He lifted my shirt, easing it over my head before lowering his mouth back to my stomach. I arched into his touch, fingers tangled in his damp hair. “I don’t know,” he hummed against my skin, “I need you to make me a whole baseball team. It would be smart to start now.”

“Nine babies?” I squeaked.

“It would be smart to have a few on the bench too. So at least twelve.”

I gasped, kicking my feet as he nipped at my hip bone. “I wasn’t aware I was going to be pregnant for the rest of my life.”

He let out a low groan. “It drives me wild thinking about you as a mom and seeing you carrying our babies.”

His hands clutched my waist, and I could tell by the rapid rising of his chest the time for conversation would soon be over. My voice was breathless. “Do you think I’d be good at it? Being a mom?”

He paused, and if not for his hands gripping me, his frame against me, I would’ve thought I was alone. “I think you can be amazing at anything you want, Indy.”

We were barely adults, and while I couldn’t wait until the day I chased little versions of Nolan around, we weren’t seriously planning on having kids soon. But hearing his confidence in me, how he believed I could do anything, it was more than I could ask for. “Do you think we could wait and let me be good at it in at least five years?”

He inched his way up my frame. “Fine. But in the meantime, we should practice.”

“I like practicing,” I said, giggling as he made quick work of my pajamas. “I should shower. I probably taste like paint—”

He silenced me, kissing me with the same hunger and devotion he always did. “You don’t taste like anything but mine.”

That was enough for me.

Chapter Eleven

Nolan—Now

Iloved women.

When I was in the praying mood, I made sure to thank God for the women in my life.

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