Page 107 of The Light We Lost

I scooted back, the tips of his fingers grazing my palm as I slid them out of his hold. His arms hung at his sides, his breaths slower than when I’d first stumbled upon him. He lifted his arm and reached back, smoothing his hand on the aspen behind him. He raised his shoulders, then stretched his legs in and out.

I settled back onto my knees, helpless. I should get help. At least run to the house and see if my parents were home. But when Nolan closed his eyes andleaned his head back against the tree, I couldn’t make myself leave. I’d never seen him this way.

He looked . . . defeated.

I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself as a breeze blew through the trees, rain pelting my skin. “We should go.”

“No.” It sounded like a plea. “Not yet.”

I chewed on my lip, unsure. I didn’t want to force him, but we couldn’t stay here forever. “If you want, you can wait here, and I’ll go find your dad—”

“No. He has enough to worry about.”

I made a face. “You’ve been missing for five hours—I think he’s worried already.”

“I can’t deal with this right now.” He groaned, rubbing his palms against his eyes. “This is gonna kill Dad.”

“Well, we can’t stay out here,” I told him. The rain was picking up, and it was only a matter of time before someone found us—him. It didn’t matter if I’d found Nolan; my parents were going to flip their lid when they realized I’d left the house. But they hadn’t seen what I had, hadn’t felt his panicked breaths. “You can come to my house if you want. Just for a little bit.”

There was a boy in my room.

I teetered on my heels, lingering in the doorway of my bedroom. Nolan stood on the opposite side, looking as wary as I felt. His mouth was flat, his shoulders curled in, and his hands were shoved in the pockets of his soggy jeans. After changing into a fresh sweater and leggings, I’d thought about offering him something dry to wear, but I doubted anything of mine would fit him, and I wasn’t about to raid Dad’s clothes. My parents were still gone, but I’d taken a risk bringing Nolan here. I doubted Auburn would’ve snitched, but luckily she was out of town with friends anyway.

When I offered my house as a hiding spot, I never thought he’d accept. Figured he’d decline and make me suffer in the rain until I caught hypothermia. But he’d accepted without a thought, like a lost puppy who’d found a home.

I’d always been more of a cat person . . . but he’d do.

Endless generosity pouring out of me, I closed the distance between us. “Eat.” I shoved a bowl of cereal into his hands.

I struggled not to squirm beneath his gaze, slowly looking between me and the Lucky Charms. “Where are the little marshmallows?” He shook the bowl lightly, as though the colorful shapes would magically appear. “Did you eat them all?”

I scowled. My socks were soggy thanks to the water seeping out of his jeans—and he had the nerve to complain? “It’s my favorite cereal. I can share it with you however I want.”

“You don’t even like the marshmallows.”

“I love them! What kind of monster doesn’t?”

“Then how come I only see you eat the little oat pieces?” He plopped down in the chair at my desk, apparently content to stay. “You’re always picking those out first and leaving the marshmallows behind.”

How did he even know that? “I was saving the best part for last. But I never get to eat them because you’re always stealing them—”

“Because I thought you didn’t like them.” He was such a liar—he knew I loved them. The first time he’d stolen them I threatened to break his hand. “You can’t fault me for doing a beautiful girl a favor.”

I ground my teeth, wanting nothing more than to dump the bowl onto his head and wipe the grin off his face, even more so when he winked.Thiswas the Nolan Graham I knew—not the exhausted version I’d found tonight. Empty, flirty words and bedazzling smiles, always ready to put on a show—

I huffed a laugh, shaking my head.Oh, Indy. You beautiful, wicked genius.Nolan watched me with a smug look as he ate his cereal, savoring each bite. He thought he had me fooled, entranced by his pretty blue eyes. But I saw right through him, saw not only the rigidness in his frame but the way his fingers trembled around the spoon.

He set the empty bowl on my desk, and I crossed my arms over my chest, tilting my head toward the door. “You should go. My parents will be home soon, and I’m not getting in trouble for you.”

He leaned back in the chair, the appearance of relaxed and cool. “You’re in the principal’s office at least every other week. You don’t care about getting in trouble.” I glanced at my nails, playing bored. “Come on. What’s a little more, peaches?”

Peaches again? Did he know I was allergic? I brushed it aside, refusing to let him sidetrack me. “Maybe I don’t mind it. But only if I know what I’m doing is worth getting in trouble for.”

I must’ve made it clear that if he wanted to stay here, I wanted something in return, as he then asked, “You want a kiss or something?”

I glared at him. He’d already stolen the spots as the first boy in my room and the first boy to hold my hand—no way was he stealing anything else. “I want to know what happened.” I wasn’t beating around the bush any longer. I liked being direct, and that was what he’d get. “If you want to stay here, you’re going to tell me why you disappeared after school and didn’t go home. You’re gonna tell me what I saw tonight and why you were drinking.”

“I wasn’t drinking.”