Page 73 of The Seemingly Impossible Love Life of Amanda Dean

How did she even get here?

Oh, that’s right Theo. Fucking Theo and all his…well, fucking.

“Aren’t you on the pill?” he asked her when she showed him the little stick with the practically glowing pink plus sign.

“It’s not one hundred percent effective; that’s why you were supposed to use a condom.” Mandy’s cheeks heated. No way Theo’s neighbors couldn’t hear them right now.

“Oh, this is all my fault?”

“Actually, it is. If you were more responsible with your semen. I did my part. You were supposed to do yours.”

“Well, obviously you weren’t that great at your part.”

“Which was why you were supposed to do yours!” They were going nowhere. Mandy’d had a feeling Theo would have some strong feelings about this news when she told him, she just wasn’t expectingthesefeelings. She had only found out that morning herself, and she wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about it, but this wasn’t the kind of information a person could keep to themselves; she had to tell Theo. He had a right to know. But maybe Mandy should’ve waited until she sat with the news a little longer, because this? This was something she really was not ready for.

“Tina Marie,” the nurse called, and Mandy watched the person who must be Tina Marie make her way to the nurse, and the door shut behind them.

This sucked. This whole situation sucked. She grabbed a magazine at random and started to thumb through. She did not need to know how to create her own indoor herb garden, and making smoothies didn’t require a recipe. She tossed it back—sending the scent of old paper into the air—and checked the time on her cell phone.

She had gotten there early, which was completely unnecessary, seeing as doctors always ran late. And all this waiting just gave Mandy more time to dwell on things.

Three days after she broke the news to Theo, he finally called her to talk.

“I’m sorry,” he said as she walked into his apartment. The cleaning person must have switched back to using the old stuff, because Mandy’s stomach churned. It had only been three days,for fuck’s sake, and now she was pregnant, and they had already started acting like she was never coming back. “She ran out of the other stuff,” he said like he knew what Mandy was thinking.

Mandy didn’t respond, mostly because she thought she might throw up if she opened her mouth, and instead took a seat on the couch. The same couch that was likely the “scene of the crime.”

“How are you feeling?” Theo sat beside her.

“How do you think I’m feeling? I tell you I’m pregnant and you don’t call me for days.”

“I was scared,” he admitted.

“And I wasn’t? This thing is inside me.” She gestured to her body.

“It’s not a thing,” he said.

But it was. To Mandy it was just a thing. According to the research she’d been doing, about 80 percent of miscarriages happened in the first trimester. It was the reason people didn’t disclose pregnancies to other people until the second trimester, because there was a chance it would never happen. There was a possibility it would never become a baby, and Mandy wasn’t ready to think of it like that just in case. She couldn’t. Her anxiety had already felt off the charts lately, and her boobs hurt, and certain smells, like Theo’s apartment, made her want to puke. She couldn’t think of the thing inside her as anything more than that for her own sanity.

“I was an asshole. I’m sorry,” he said and reached his hand out.

Mandy took it and weaved her fingers through his. He had soft hands, and his nails were always manicured—more often than Mandy’s were, that was for sure. “Yes, you were.”

“Well, I’ve done a lot of thinking, and I talked to my mom, and she said after the wedding we could stay in the guesthouse until we find something more permanent. She could go find something for us,but she figured you would want a say.” He had talked to his mom? Already? Mandy hadn’t even talked to hers yet. She didn’t know what to say or how to say it. She didn’t want to hear the disappointment in her mom’s voice—at least she assumed Mom would be disappointed in her. Mandy was disappointed in herself. But wait…

“What wedding?” Mandy’s brain really wasn’t working the way it used to. If this was what pregnancy was like, she already hated it. How could she live like this for eight more months?

“I mean, you’re having my baby. I just thought…”

“Do you even want to marry me?” Mandy wasn’t sure she wanted to marry him. Theo was sweet and nice, and aside from all the clutter, he had the cleanest apartment out of everyone she’d ever known, and he dressed impeccably, but marriage?

“Maybe we could just live together. I think Mom would still let us use the guesthouse, and if not, we could figure something else out, I suppose.”

“In Boston?”

“That’s where my parents live. That’s where I’m going to be working.” He had talked about it before, how his dad had a job for him at his firm as soon as he graduated, but Mandy never really thought about it. Not that she didn’t care about Theo, she just never thought much beyond what they were right now. And what they were right now was going to be parents. Oh god.

Mandy’s mouth flooded with saliva. “But my parents live here in California.” All this talk of moving and weddings was making Mandy sick.

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