Page 32 of The Seemingly Impossible Love Life of Amanda Dean

Mandy tried to follow Isa’s finger, and if she tried really hard, she could picture a centaur in the sky, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t what Isa had been pointing to. “Awesome.”

And it was.

With the shrieks of excitement muted by the passing breeze and the scent of damp earth swirling around them, time seemed to stand still. The chill in the air prickled Mandy’s skin, all of her senses seeming to kick into overdrive.

“This reminds me of that one night under the trampoline,” Isa said.

Mandy chuckled, the vibrations of which tickled her chest. “I can’t believe we didn’t get caught.”

“We should’ve.”

“We totally should’ve.” Mandy hadn’t thought about Brandon in a long time. What a complete ass he was. A month after she and Isa decorated the front of his house, Brandon was pulled from school and his family moved away. Something about his dad getting a new job, but Mandy wasn’t sad to see him go. Actually, she hoped he was miserable wherever he went. The thought didn’t make her petty, just committed to her feelings, she rationalized.

Isa reached over and squeezed Mandy’s hand. “I wouldn’t want to be here with anyone else right now.”

“Are you sure that’s not the weed talking?”

“I’m sure.” Isa turned onto her side. “You’re my favorite person.”

“You’re my favorite person, weirdo.”

“I’m being serious.”

Mandy turned onto her side too, to face Isa. “So am I.”

“Mandy.”

“Isa.”

“There’s something I need to tell you, and I don’t know how to say it, or what you’ll think, or feel about it, but I know I have to tell you. Because who knows if I’ll ever have the courage to say it again…Or maybe I shouldn’t…”

Mandy’s brain may have been fuzzy, but the nerves running through Isa’s words had Mandy hearing her loud and clear. “What’s going on?”

“It’s just…” Isa seemed to study everything about Mandy’s face, her gaze sweeping across it looking for…well, Mandy wasn’t sure what. “I’m gay.”

“Okay.”

“That’s it?”

Mandy was really high. “Wait. What did I just say?”

“Oh my god, Mandy.” Isa pushed Mandy’s shoulder—not hard, but it made her roll onto her back anyway.

The world swooshed around Mandy like a wave. “What did you say?”

“I just told you I’m gay. I am so fucking gay, it hurts.”

Mandy struggled to get back onto her side. “Yeah. I know. It’s cool.”

“What? How do you know? Oh my god. Who else knows? What did I—”

“No. Not like that.” Mandy finally righted herself and propped her head on her hand. “It’s just—I’m your best friend, and bi, and, well, you’ve never had a real boyfriend, and even though you’ve talked about boys and there was that time withyou-know-who that we willnottalk about. I don’t know. I could tell you didn’t really like any of them. I’m sure no one else knows. I just knowyou, is all.” It was more than that though. Mandy had been “dragging” Isa to her LGBT and Allies club meetings for years, and in those moments with those people, Isa always seemed her most relaxed—like she could actually take a breath. But Mandy only saw it because she knew Isa like no one else did. Knew she chewed on the caps of her pens during really stressful tests. Knew she liked order in almost everything but rarely matched her socks. Knew that she could never eat just one cookie, because she didn’t want it to be lonely in her stomach. Just like how Isa knew everything there was to know about Mandy. She was sure when Isa was ready, she would tell her, like how Mandy told Isa all those years ago in her bathroom. Hearing Mandy say all of this should’ve made Isa feel better about the whole thing, but Isa still looked like she was ready to puke. “Hold on. Did I say something wrong? I’m really stoned. So if I messed up—”

“No.” Isa shook her head. “I’m the one who messed up.” She looked as though she was on the verge of tears.

“Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.” Mandy tried to sound reassuring, but then it hit her. “Oh. Youlikesomeone.”

Isa nodded.

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