Page 21 of The Seemingly Impossible Love Life of Amanda Dean

“Exactly,” Sara said.

Nikki’s usually pale cheeks quickly turned into bright red apples. “Duh. Everyone knows that though. Right, Mandy?”

“Yeah, but Julia Stiles is amazing too, don’t ya think?” Mandy was sure of this, but her voice sounded hesitant even to her own ears.

“Oh, totally,” Laura said. “She’s a really good actress.”

“And she gets to kiss Heath Ledger,” Sara said.

The sandwich in Mandy’s mouth turned gluey, and it was tough for her to swallow. That wasn’t what Mandy had meant. Sure, she got to kiss him, but what had Mandy’s heart pounding during that movie was that he got to kissher. Was she the only person to think that?

The conversation quickly shifted to who everyone thought was good-looking at their school. Sara mentioned Parker—he played the drums in band. Laura said Ryan—a soccer player. And Nikki said all the boys at their school were too immature. Mandy agreed with all of them, but another name did pop into her head.

Daphne.

She was new that year, in the same homeroom as Mandy and Isa, and anytime Mandy looked at her, honeybees buzzed in her chest.

Daphne’s hair was the color of late autumn leaves—brown with a hint of red—and she had a constellation of freckles across the bridge of her light brown nose and on her cheeks. Every day she wore the same black cardigan with tan leather elbow patches—which was both a little nerdy and a little sweet—and a hemp choker. And anytime Daphne knew the answer, she bit her lip before lifting a hand full of rings into the air.

She was, in other words, completely and utterly adorable.

But until that moment, Mandy didn’t realize her thoughts about Julia Stiles or Daphne were an opinion. She assumed they were a fact—like how Heath Ledger was hot. Now it seemed that not everyone thought the same way Mandy did, and she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel about that. It wasn’t that her feelings were completely out there—Nikki unofficiallyhad two dads, and no one ever said anything bad about them or acted like it was a big deal—but still Mandy felt…scared.

Mandy and Isa sat onthe cold tile floor in Mandy’s bathroom painting their toenails and munching on M&M’s as Britney Spears sang from the stereo in Mandy’s bedroom. School had only been back in session a couple of weeks, and overall, seventh grade was a major improvement from sixth. Mandy and Isa had lockers near each other and had the same homeroom teacher, and they were no longer at the bottom edge of the social hierarchy of middle school, which felt cooler even if it didn’t really mean anything.

That evening, however, Mandy didn’t feel cool at all. Her hand wasn’t as steady as it normally was when she painted, and her heart beat like it did in PE, which wasn’t usual when it was just her and Isa. But there had been something on Mandy’s mind—something she really wanted to talk to Isa about, but she wasn’t sure how to bring it up.

A cotton ball hit Mandy in the nose, shaking her from her thoughts and bringing her back to her bathroom.

“What’s going on with you?” Isa asked. “You’re being weird.”

That’s because Mandy was weird. Wasn’t she? She glanced at her mermaid toothbrush holder next to the sink, and then to her shower curtain—the mermaid swimming on it seemed to be looking at Mandy like,Go ahead, talk to her, she’s your best friend. And Isa was. Mandy told Isa everything, and she always listened and never judged her. So why was Mandy so nervous thistime? “Have you ever had a crush on anyone?” Mandy asked even though Isa had never expressed interest in anyone—not even when Mandy talked about that butt-face Brandon all the time—but this question was safe. This question gave Mandy time to think more about what she wanted to say. The scent of acetone burned Mandy’s nose.

“Is that what this is about?” Isa went back to her nail polish, a bright yellow that reminded Mandy of a new tennis ball. Maybe Mandy shouldn’t have said anything. “It’s that new girl, Daphne, isn’t it?”

Mandy’s breath stopped. And there it was—the truth spoken out in the open and without hesitation. She should’ve been relieved—she didn’t have to say it herself—but instead, her insides trembled. Good thing she was already in the bathroom, because she might need to throw up.

“It’s okay. I don’t think anyone else knows. I just…” Isa shrugged. “Know you, you know?”

“You don’t think that makes me weird?” Mandy spoke so softly she wasn’t even sure she said the words out loud.

“Oh, you’re totally weird, but not in the way you mean.” Isa glanced up at Mandy. “And, I mean, I guess Daphne is okay. She’s got to be better than butt-face, right?” She smiled. “Hand me the black. I think I want to make smiley faces on these.” Isa wiggled her fingers.

Mandy reached into her container full of different nail polishes. “Let me do it.” Mandy shook the bottle of black.

Isa set her hands on the floor in front of Mandy. “Oh. Can you go to the mall this weekend?”

Mandy placed the bottle down and pulled out the brush. “Yeah. Of course.”

“Good, ’cause Abuela gave me the rest of the money so I could get those new Vans. Oh, and at Waldenbooks…” Isa rambled on about all the books she needed to check out, and how she heard about a new ice cream place.

And just like that, Mandy was okay. Isa knew Mandy’s secret and didn’t ask any questions or make fun of her or leave immediately and never speak to her again. It was like it always was when she was with Isa.

Eventually Mandy would have to tell her other friends and, of course, her parents, but for tonight things in Mandy’s world were all right.

Chapter Eleven

October 2002

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