Page 97 of The Girl with No Name

“Not for me,” she says. “Especially not when I’m riding on a plane with a handsome future rock star.”

“Excuse me,” I say to the flight attendant as she passes. “We’ll take two gin and tonics, please.”

The old woman smiles at me. “Thank you. You’re quite sweet, you know. Some lucky woman will end up with you.”

“You’re pumping me up. This is what I need to hear right now,” I laugh.

When our drinks arrive, we clink our little plastic cups together, and right as I’m about to take a sip, I remember I have work in the morning.

As in,right now.

Hal won’t mind if I’m drinking gin and tonic when I log in. As long as he doesn’t try to FaceTime me…

22

REED

“NICE GUYS FINISH LAST” – GREEN DAY

By Wednesday I’m mostly physically recovered—I think—from the weekend of nonstop drinking, the drugs, and the road trips.

My spiritual recovery, however, is another matter altogether.

I pause in front of my building on the way in to work, looking at the passersby on the walkway along the Chicago River.

Last week I thought I had my entire life figured out. My routine, the big three—everything was humming like a well-oiled machine.

Pedestrians move past in polos, dresses, and suits, just like they did last Wednesday when I paused in this same way, at this very spot. They’re all the same. Yet I feel profoundly different.

The very focus of my existence has been called into question. Samantha, the previous foundation of my future and the reason I didn’t stay an extra year in Bolivia, is gone. One door has closed, and I’m left with a litany of life questions.

Why stay in Chicago? I love it here, but why not move? That plan is decimated. My anchor is gone. And it’s not like my living situation is ideal. Living with Mason was supposed to be a transition, just until Samantha moved here.

Then there’s the last of the big three, my job. Sure, making six figures at some important-sounding tech job is the dream for a lot of people. But the events of the past week now have me wondering, Is itmydream?

I feel oddly untethered, yet strangely clear-headed as I ride the elevator up to my floor.

A smile crosses my face when I see Jay spin around in his chair.

“Well, if it isn’t the guy who refuses to come into the office!” he says. “You’ve caused quite a stir.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Hal has already been around looking for you.” Jay looks away, then does a double take and squints at me.

“What?” I ask.

“Something about you seems different.”

I shrug. “I feel different.”

“No coffee today? Maybe that’s it.”

“Oh. I forgot it.”

“Are you quitting caffeine?”

“Honestly, I didn’t even think about it this morning. I’ve had a lot on my mind. Guess I didn’t need it.”

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