Page 94 of The Girl with No Name

“Hey.”

She sighs. “I really love you. You know that, right?”

“I know that.”

She brings her eyes to mine. “I need to confess something.”

My heart feels like it’s ripping open in my chest as I consider what’s coming. And worse, I’ve no right to feel the way I do, considering my own actions.

“I kissed someone this weekend.”

“Brandon?”

She shakes her head. “No. This guy from abroad.”

I gulp down the feeling. Strangely, I know what she’s about to say. “The one you dated when I was in the Peace Corps?”

She nods, and my mind tumbles back again to the road trip we took from California last year. Guess I’m not crazy.

“Well, I’m gonna go,” I tell her.

“Where are you going?”

“There’s a bar around the corner. I saw it on the way here. I’m going to go there before I catch a flight back to Chicago.”

“You don’t want to be around me?”

“Look, I’m not blameless. Neither are you, though. I think it’s clear this isn’t working out. And I don’t want to stay here.” Pulling out my phone, I look up flights.

She nods. “This is a little odd, and you can say no, but do you mind if I come with you—to the bar, I mean?”

“Why?”

She puts her hand on my wrist. “You are one of the most important people in my life. We’ve had some really good times. We could toast them.”

“Yeah. All right.”

I find a 5:30 a.m. flight back, book it, and we walk together down to the bar.

It’s a little corner joint with a few older guys playing pool—the type of guys who drink on Sundays past midnight.

We find a table and have a few more beers. I’ve never been a drink-because-I’m-stressed type of person. But tonight is an exception.

I look across the table at Samantha. She’s a blue-eyed beauty, and I fell in love with her the moment I met her. “I just always thought it would be you,” I say.

She nods. “Me too. I mean, that it would be you.”

“What am I supposed to do with all these memories we have together? Like, who else visited me in the Peace Corps? Who else knows me like you do? Being twenty-one and getting drunk in college together at those dances? Those were some amazing times.” My chest feels heavy.

“I feel the same way.” She sips her drink and smiles. “Maybe it’s okay to just let those good memories be there, not try to change them. Let them be what they are.”

“Were you going to…tell me? That we weren’t right for each other?” I ask.

“I was planning to tell you. Somehow. I just couldn’t find a way.”

“That guy from Finland, are you in love with him?”

“Do you really want the answer to that question?”

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