Page 69 of Alpha Chase

So. Fucking. Stupid.

I knew it’d end like this, and I did it anyway. Isn’t that the definition of insanity?

Nessa sighs, shuffling the laundry basket to perch on her hip and taking a cautious step toward me. “Vee…”

I shake my head again, shooting daggers at her through my eyes. “I said I don’t want to talk about it,” I snap, tearing across the room. I nearly trip over the shoddy futon mattress on the floor beside Nessa’s bed- my lavish accommodations since I landed here without anywhere else to go. I kick at it angrily as I climb over and onto Nessa’s bed, stewing about how fucking pathetic my life has become.

Nessa heaves another sigh, dropping the laundry basket on the floor and approaching me timidly, like I’m a feral animal poised to bite. “I know, but you’re obviously upset, and what kind of friend would I be if I just sat by and did nothing?”

I feel a vibration on the bed beside me, eyes darting down to see the screen of Nessa’s phone lit up with an incoming call. My blood turns molten in my veins when I read the name of the caller- Callum, with a little fucking black heart emoji beside his name. I snatch up the phone, holding it out toward her. “The kind that keeps secrets, apparently,” I spit, and if looks could kill, my best friend would be dead on the floor right now.

Panic floods Nessa’s eyes as she grabs the phone from my hands, silencing the call. “I’m not…”

“Really?” I probe, my eyes narrowed into slits. “What’s going on between you and Cal, then?”

Nessa swallows hard, shoving her phone into her back pocket. “Nothing.”

I level her with a glare. “Vanessa.”

She throws up her hands, eyes bugging out. “What’s going on between you and Chase?!”

“Nothing!” I shout back, bolting up from the bed and nearly tripping over my damn feet when they land on the pliant futon mattress.

Nessa points an accusatory finger in my direction. “So you’re really going to accuse me of keeping secrets when you’re doing the same thing? How hypocritical can you be?”

“It’s not a secret, there’snothinggoing on between us, not anymore!” The hot sting of tears prick behind my eyes, my throat raw as I force them back with everything I have. My heart is pounding, my wolf clawing at my chest in an effort to burst free. I slam my shoulder into Nessa’s as I force my way past her, bound for the door.

“What about Clint, then?”

My heart stops, all the air whooshing from my lungs as I freeze in my tracks and whip my head around. My eyes are wild as they land on Nessa, standing there with a hip cocked, her arms folded over her chest, a perfectly manicured eyebrow arched in question.

“You think I haven’t seen the bruises, the way you flinch when I mention him?” She shakes her head, frowning. “Face it, you started keeping secrets long before I did, Vee.”

A sickening swirl of rage curls in my gut, all of the hurt and frustration of the past few hours rushing to the surface, the intense weight of it nearly bringing me to my knees. I don’t know what’s more infuriating- that she knew all along, that she never let on that she did, or the realization that she let me stand there and lie to her face for months. That last one comes with a heavy dose of guilt and shame, enveloping me like a dark cloud.

“I don’t need this,” I growl, spinning around and storming over to the dresser, yanking open the drawer.Mydrawer, the small place carved out in here to hold my few pathetic belongings.

“What are you doing?” I hear Nessa ask as I grab my duffel bag from beside the dresser and start shoving clothes inside.

“Packing.”

“What?” she questions, her footsteps approaching. “Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t go back to your mom’s…”

“I’m not,” I say flatly, continuing to shove my clothes into the bag, ignoring her presence behind me.

“Then where will you go?”

I grab the strap of my duffel, not even bothering to zip it before hauling it up on my shoulder, twisting around to glare at my friend. “I’ll fucking figure it out, Vanessa. I don’t need your damn charity anymore.”

Her eyes widen, wounded by either my words or the tone that conveyed them. She reaches out, brushing her fingers against my forearm. “Vee, don’t be like this…”

I wrench my arm away from her, my wolf so close to the surface that I can feel her trying to force herself through my skin. “Be like what?” I hiss, venom dripping from my tongue with every word. “I never should’ve come here. You don’t know what it’s like, with your big fucking house and your big fucking happy family. I don’t belong here.”

Nessa stands there like a statue as I shove past her, and I can’t even bring myself to look at her face as I pass. I tear down the stairs and out the front door, fat tears rolling down my cheeks as I make a beeline for my car parked on the curb. Yanking the door open, I throw my duffel onto the passenger side and fall down into my seat, slamming my door so hard that the whole car rattles. I let out a frustrated wail, gripping the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles turn white, slumping forward and resting my forehead against it.

My shoulders shake, sobs wracking my body. Nessa and I have been friends forever, and we don’t fight. Not like this. I was already upset when I got here, and she got caught in the crossfire of my raging emotions. I just unloaded on her; took it all out on the one person who has always been there for me. I’m a fucking monster.

My tears are hot as they spill down my cheeks, splashing on the steering wheel where they fall. Now I truly have nothing. No home. No best friend. No Chase. I lost my dad a long time ago, and my mom hasn’t even called to check up on me since I left her house. I don’t even have a phone anymore- I left it at Chase’s in my rush to leave this morning. All I’ve got is a duffel bag, this crappy car, and my job at the lodge.

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