Page 60 of Alpha Chase

I passed out for another two hours before pulling my sorry ass out of bed and into the shower, knowing what I have to do but dreading it all the same. By the time I get dressed and walk downstairs, I can already hear the sound of Fallon’s laughter coming from my dad’s office. My feet are heavy as I head in that direction, and the closer I get, the harder my heart thumps in my chest and the more I consider turning back around.

I reach the doorway of the office to find Gray seated behind my father’s desk inside, his arm curled around Fallon’s waist as she reclines sideways on his lap with her arms looped around his neck. Her blonde ponytail swishes as she turns to look my way, still giggling from whatever conversation they were in the midst of.

“Oh hey, Baby Alpha,” Fallon greets playfully, giving me a once-over as I lean a shoulder on the doorframe. “I see Vee got you home in one piece.”

“Yeah,” I sigh. Shoving my hands into the front pocket of my hoodie, I take a hesitant step inside, trying to ignore the way my lungs constrict whenever I set foot in this office. Gray’s eyes meet mine, his expression unreadable as always, and my throat tightens as I try to force the apology he deserves past my lips. “I just uh… wanted to say I’m sorry. About yesterday.”

Fallon swings her feet down to the floor, planting a kiss on Gray’s cheek before rising from his lap. “I’ll leave you boys to it. Gotta head to the squad complex to help Serena whip these high school kids into fighting shape.”

“Damn right you do,” Gray growls, leaning over to deliver a swat to Fallon’s ass as she steps around the desk. “Give ‘em hell, babe.”

Fallon pauses as she skirts past me on her way out, grabbing onto my forearm and giving it a little squeeze. “You’ve got this,” she whispers, giving me a subtle nod of encouragement before continuing to the door.

Gray’s eyes are glued to his mate’s ass until she exits, and only then do they swing back up to meet mine. He leans back in his chair, gesturing to another across the desk. “Wanna sit?”

“Sure.” Every step further into the office drags more air from my lungs, but I put one foot in front of the other until I’m slumping down into the chair opposite him, chewing on the inside of my cheek as I search for the right words to say. “I owe you an apology.”Solid start. “Things shouldn’t have gone down like that yesterday, I just lost my shit. I know you’ve been trying to help, it’s just… my temper. I’ve always had a short fuse, and when I heard that, I just blew up. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, though…”

I’m stumbling over my words so badly that I don’t even know if I’m making sense; I’m not exactly well versed in fessing up to my own shortcomings. I heave a sigh, hanging my head and raking a hand through my hair. “Guess I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Gray nods, staring at me silently for so long that I start to shift uncomfortably in my chair. “I appreciate that,” he finally says, leaning his forearms on the desk in front of him and leveling me with a glare. “Can’t say I’m not glad it happened, though.”

“What?” I blurt, brow creasing as I blink at him like he’s lost his damn mind.

Gray’s lips curl into a smirk and he shrugs, dragging his arms off the desk and leaning back, folding his hands over his stomach. “I was beginning to wonder if you truly wanted this. If you’d fight for your place as the rightful leader of your pack, if it came down to it. Granted, I could’ve done without all the yelling and screaming, but at least now I know that being Alpha actually means something to you.”

I swallow hard, my eyes flickering up to the picture hanging on the wall behind Gray- the one of my dad and grandfather standing in front of our old packhouse. My heart aches as I think of the way my dad led our pack as Alpha. He was always so confident, calm, and composed.Hewouldn’t go flying off the handle if he heard something that pissed him off. I swallow past the lump in my throat, shaking my head. “I’ll never behim.”

“You don’t have to be,” Gray replies thoughtfully, glancing over his shoulder at the picture on the wall. “Trust me, I know it isn’t easy to step into this position at your age, without your father to guide you.” His eyes return to mine, a flicker of pain behind them as he goes on. “I was mad at the world after my parents were slaughtered in front of my eyes, same as you. The pack was a mess, and it took me too long to see past my own grief and anger before stepping up to be the leader they needed. I didn’t see it for what it was; an opportunity to honor my parents by carrying on their legacy.”

A heavy weight settles in my gut and I bite down on the inside of my cheek so hard that I taste blood. When he puts it that way, I feel like a selfish prick for fighting him on this for so long. I draw a deep breath, staring into the eyes of the one person who understands the weight of my loss and the burden of the responsibility it left, because he’s been there, too.

“It isn’t easy, taking on the welfare of an entire pack,” Gray continues. “It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Your sole purpose shifts to leading and protecting your people, and it takes time to earn their trust and respect. But you have to start somewhere. As long as you make the effort and always have the best interests of your pack at heart, you’ll do fine.” He glances over his shoulder at the framed picture again, then back to me, his eyes softening. “There’s no one right way to be Alpha, Chase. You were born to lead this pack, so do it your way. Just fuckingdoit.”

I blow out a breath, running a hand through my hair and tugging at the strands. “I don’t think I’m ready,” I grind out, all of my raging insecurities rushing to the surface. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

Gray sits up and lifts a file from the desk, tossing it in front of me. It lands with a smack, and I lean forward to pick it up, flipping the file open on my lap.

“What’s this?

“The latest reports from your pack’s enforcers,” he provides as I start thumbing through the pages. “Like I said, gotta start somewhere.”

My eyes skim the pages, each providing a brief summary of a dispute or issue that arose within the pack and an indication as to whether or not it was able to be resolved. “Damn, old man Crane is still giving Jed a hard time?” I chuckle, remembering more than a few times when my dad had to smooth things over between the two of them. Jed’s a musician- a drummer, to be exact- and his next-door neighbor, Bill Crane, is always complaining about the noise.

Gray shrugs. “Guess so. Rob’s been handling the escalated matters on your behalf. It’s not my place to intervene.”

I continue thumbing through the reports, pausing when I get to the last one. “What about this one?” I grumble, sliding it out of the file. “Says it’s unresolved.” I scan the summary, brow furrowing as I read.

“Then let’s go resolve it,” Gray says, pushing back from the desk and rising to his feet.

Damn, he totally set this up and I played right into his hands.

I watch him warily as he stuffs a hand into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a set of keys. “C’mon,” he beckons with a flick of his head. “You can fill me in on the way.”

It’s only a five-minute ride across town in Gray’s Jeep, two of which are spent reading him the summary of the complaint and the other three spent in silence. Gray isn’t much of a talker, which is fine by me because if he forced me to talk, he’d probably pick up on how apprehensive I am about this whole thing. It seems ridiculous for Gray and me to be making a house call like this, as if we’re fucking sheriff’s deputies or something, but there’s no going back now. If this is how Gray wants me to pay penance for my freakout yesterday, I guess I’ll grin and fucking bear it.

We roll into the driveway of a little blue house and climb out of the Jeep, starting up the front walk. Snow crunches under my boots as I glance toward the house, the door swinging open before we’re even halfway up the walk. A big, surly looking fucker appears in the doorway- the one and only Daryl Miller. He doesn’t exactly have a reputation for being warm and fuzzy, so I’m not surprised when we’re greeted with a scowl.

“Alpha Gray, Alpha Chase,” he barks, his eyes shifting between us as we approach. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”