Page 103 of Alpha Reid

As soon as the meeting ends, I hop in the Mustang and head back home to the packhouse, eager to get back to Serena. From what I can surmise, this whole thing seems to be about closure. Serena didn’t get any after her family died- and Vaughn’s funeral, the sense of closure that came with laying him to rest, likely triggered emotions that she had long buried. I’d venture a guess that she’s been distant since because she doesn’t quite know how to deal with them, but I’m making it my mission to help her through. And as I drive the winding forest road back to Stillwater, an idea of how I might be able to do that starts to take shape.

~

Serena

It’s late in the afternoon when we arrive in Silvercrest, Wyoming. A five-hour drive north in the dead of winter may sound like a nightmare to most, but with Reid at the wheel it wasn’t so bad. We chatted for the first hour or so, then alternated who got to pick the song for the next two. Suffice to say that Reid has probably never listened to so much Taylor Swift in his life, and I’ve never smiled so hard while watching him sing along to Bruce Springsteen. The next hour I regaled Reid with stories of childhood memories, and the last hour, as we drew closer, we just sat quietly. Reid held my hand while allowing me to be alone with my thoughts, shoring up the courage to see the one place I never thought I would again.

When Reid came home a week and a half ago and suggested this trip, I’ll admit that I wasn’t fully on board with the idea. Far from it, actually- Silvercrest was the last place I wanted to go. The last time I was here, I had a whole different life. A different pack. A family. Not that I’d say my life was better by comparison, because I have so many good things in my life now, but it was all I knew. And everything I knew was taken from me at once.

The more Reid and I talked, the more I came to realize that maybe he was right; maybe I needed this. Maybe it’d help me heal. I’ll be the first to admit that I tend to shove tough emotions down rather than dealing with them, and my near panic attack at Vaughn’s funeral was a pretty clear indication that I still had some unresolved shit to deal with. Reid came home on a mission that day, though, and we’ve talked through a lot of things since. I’ve opened up to him in more ways than I thought possible, and he’s always there to listen, never judge. I’m now more sure than ever that the man truly is my soulmate- I’ve never felt closer to another person in my life. The bond between us is so strong. It burns so bright.

I tried to get Olivia to join us on this trip, but she wasn’t ready yet. She still has a lot of grief to process and doesn’t have a kind and patient mate like Reid to help her through, though I’ve tried to be there for her as much as she’ll let me. Someday she’ll be ready, and I’ll bring her here so she can get some semblance of closure, too. At least I’m hoping that’s what this trip provides. Maybe in going back to where it all began, I’ll be able to finally set the past free.

“This is it,” I say quietly, sitting up in my seat as Reid rolls up to the stop sign that sits near the edge of town. “Take this left.”

He does, and I stare out the windshield, waiting impatiently to reach the crest of the hill so that I can see the town below. What’s left of the town, at least. I know it’s not going to look the same- I’ve already mentally prepared myself for that. I heard it was burned to the ground after the shadow pack attacked, with nothing left behind but cinders and ash. Still, I suddenly need to see it, if only so I know that what happened was real and all of this hasn’t been some fucked up nightmare.

I’m not prepared. I know it as soon as the town comes into view- nothing could have adequately prepared me to see my entire childhood reduced to rubble. My heart drops to the pit of my stomach as I ball my hands into fists, squeezing so hard that my fingernails pierce the flesh of my palms. Reid reaches over and sets his hand on my thigh, giving it a little squeeze, and I swear I feel him sending calming energy to me through the mate bond. My shoulders relax slightly. My racing pulse starts to slow down.

Reid stops the car at a T in the road, looking to me for guidance. I point him to the left, and then at the next street, to the right. As we drive through what used to be my pack’s town, I just stare out the window, knowing what turns to make but not seeing any of the landmarks. Everything familiar has been wiped out- charred skeletons of buildings are all that remains. A once lively, bustling, happy town is now a distant memory.

I don’t know why I direct him to the packhouse. Habit, I suppose. I was last there on the worst night of my life, but somehow I feel like I need to go back. Maybe going back will help me make sense of it all.

“Right here,” I say quietly, indicating, and Reid pulls the Mustang over to the curb. I stare out the window at the charred remains of the packhouse, very little left standing except the stone fireplace and some large, blackened beams. I draw a deep breath, unfastening my seatbelt as Reid cuts the ignition, reaching for the door handle and climbing out of the car.

The chill in the air makes me shiver and I wrap my jacket tighter around myself, eyes fixated on what’s left of the packhouse. I can still picture it so clearly in my mind- the huge, wrap-around porch, the blue shutters. The second-story window of my bedroom that I used to sneak out from whenever I was grounded because I could never miss out on a party. I wound up getting caught more than once because I wasn’t careful not to tromp over mom’s flowerbeds when I landed- she was so picky about her landscaping that she always noticed when something was amiss.

I start up the front walk, stepping onto what’s left of the porch and over what would have been the threshold, into the rubble.

“Careful,” Reid warns, holding onto my elbow so I don’t lose my footing.

“I know,” I say, exercising caution with each tentative step into the blackened pile of debris. Reid’s right there with me, holding me steady as I advance to what used to be the living room, stopping short when I reach the spot.

I swallow hard, feet anchored in place. “I was right here the last time I saw them alive.”

Reid winds his arms around me from behind, holding me with my back to his front. “Tell me about them,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to my hair.

And I do. Standing in what used to be the living room of my family home, I tell Reid all about my dad- the strict but fair Alpha who was constantly frustrated by his wild eldest daughter but loved her anyways. I tell him about my mom, the kind-hearted Luna who the whole pack adored, the homemaker who devoted her time to gardening and cooking and raising her children. I tell him about my big brother, who was strong and proud and so eager to take the mantle of Alpha when he turned twenty that he didn’t sleep a wink the night before it was announced. And I tell him about my little brother Benjamin, who was smart and inquisitive and obsessed with learning how things worked, often taking appliances apart just to put them back together, much to my parents’ dismay.

Standing there, I let it all in. I let myself feel every bit of it- the happiness for the good memories, the sadness for the bad. The pain of the profound loss. I let myself feel it all, and then… I let it go.

“Thank you for doing this,” I whisper, lacing my fingers through Reid’s and bringing his hand up to my face, pressing a kiss to the back of it.

“Of course.” He kisses my hair again, rocking me back and forth a little as he holds me. Since he first put his arms around me out here, he hasn’t let me go, supporting me both emotionally and physically. “I’m always in your corner, Red. Never forget that.”

My heart swells. I’ll never understand why my family was taken from me so cruelly, but through all of the heartache, I’m so grateful I found Reid. My mate. My partner. My person. Now that he’s in my life, I can’t imagine a life without him. I’ve faced so many things that should’ve left me broken, but Reid makes me feel strong and whole and complete.

“I think I’m done here,” I say, dropping Reid’s hand and spinning in his arms to face him. I reach up to stroke his sharp jawline, gazing into his eyes.

“Yeah?” he asks, arching a brow. He strokes my hair lovingly. “You sure?”

I am. I’m done with this place and the haunting memories it holds. I’m done being held back by the pain of my past, ready to focus instead on the promise of the future.

I nod, smiling up at the most devastatingly handsome face I’ve ever seen, my heart full of love. “Yes,” I breathe, sliding my hand into his. “Let’s go home.”

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

Serena

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