Page 74 of Alpha Jax

I push forward, lifting up on my tiptoes and brushing my lips against his. I feel the warmth of tiny sparks between our skin, igniting the fire deep in my belly. There’s no denying our physical chemistry. My body wants his, needs his.Craveshis.

Jax’s arms immediately encircle my waist, pulling me closer. His lips move against mine, softly at first, then with more urgency. They part, and his velvety tongue slips into my mouth, gently stroking my own. I throw one arm over his shoulder, my other hand moving up to tangle in his hair. I want him-allof him, so badly it fuckinghurts.

But something’soff. Suddenly I can taste the hesitation in his kiss, feel his shoulders tense in apprehension. He’s holding himself back.

Jax suddenly pulls away, breaking the kiss. His hands slip from my body, and I can see the turmoil in those beautiful eyes as they flutter to the ground, avoiding mine.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, and my voice sounds pinched. My chest is tight; it’s suddenly hard to breathe.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. Staring at the ground. “I don’t know, I just…”

A dark, heavy feeling settles in my gut. He’s withdrawing, I can feel it. This is the moment I feared; the moment it all ends. The moment I get hurt.

I told myself that when this moment came, I’d end things on my own terms. That I’d protect myself from letting a man hurt me again.

“Why don’t we just call it, then?” I grind out, taking a step backwards.

Jax blows out a breath, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Quinn, c’mon, that’s not what I mean…”

“Well I’m calling it then. This isn’t fun for me anymore, okay?” Surprisingly, my voice isn’t half as shaky as I feel right now. I’m putting on a good front, though I suddenly feel like I’m crumbling.

“Quinn…”

Fuck, it hurts to hear him say my name in that deep, steely voice. It cuts like a knife.

“That’s what we agreed on, that we’d end it if one of us wasn’t having fun anymore,” I say, folding my arms over my chest protectively. “And we promised that whoever ended it, the other would respect the decision.”

Jax just stares at me for a long moment, his eyes searching mine. I find myself wishing he’d reach out for me- that he’d pull me in and hold me and refuse to let me end things like this. That he’d tell me he wants something more with me, that he wants all of me. I’m finally building the relationship with my brother that I always wanted, but if I knew Jax was in this thing for real, I’d go with him right now to tell Theo about us, consequences be damned. I’d burn what I’m building with Theo to the ground for him. As scary as it is, I’d risk it all.

“Is that what you want?” Jax asks, his voice gravelly.

I give him a single nod. Nothing more, nothing less- because his question tells me everything I need to know. We’re on two totally different pages here. He doesn’t want to be with me for real; he’s ready to let this go if I am.

So I do. I turn around and I head for the door.

It’s not his fault- I’m the one who allowed myself to get in too deep; to feel too much. I blame my own naivety for thinking I could keep things light and casual and not fall for this guy. The truth is, I was in too deep from the first moment he put his hands on me. It was impossible not to fall for him.

I just didn’t know it’d hurt this much when he didn’t catch me.

I flip the lock on the door, pushing it open. I don’t look back. Ican’t. I feel the sting of tears forming behind my eyes, and the last thing I want is for him to see me cry right now. I step outside into the cool night air, but I don’t let the tears slip until I hear the latch of the door as it closes behind me. As soon as it does, I let them fall. Hot, salty tears spill from my eyes, soaking my cheeks.

I think that part of me always knew it’d end this way. That my heart would get involved and it’d wind up just a little bit more broken.

~

Jax

The door of the indoor arena swings closed behind Quinn, and I just stand there for a moment, stunned.

What the fuck just happened?

I asked her to meet me here tonight with the best of intentions- to talk about coming clean to her brother, about taking things between us to the next level. Instead, she just abruptly ended everything.

What in the actual fuck?!

I stomp toward the door, the anger and frustration rising in me with every step. Without thinking, I just react- I lash out, striking the cold metal of the doorframe with a fist. I hear the crunch of bones breaking in my hand before the pain even registers- and once it does, it’s only a dull ache, far outweighed by the pain searing through my chest.

I pull my fist back to see dark red blood seeping through the broken skin on my knuckles, glancing at the doorframe to admire the dent I put in the metal. It doesn’t quell my rage completely, but it helps.

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