Page 42 of Alpha Gray

“I’m so sorry,” I breathe, panting. I feel the need to explain everything to him, to make it all better somehow. “She said you were with someone else, and I just lost it…”

Gray stops abruptly, pulling back to look at me. “What?” he asks, blinking.

I’m immediately kicking myself for saying too much. I don’t want to come off like some jealous girlfriend- it’s none of my business if he’s with someone else. Except it is, it fuckingbugsme. I sigh, placing my palms on Gray’s muscular chest. “She said you were with some girl named Kelly on the full moon run, and I just freaked out, I guess…”

Gray scowls, taking his hands off of me and a step backwards. I immediately ache from the loss of his contact. I feel like I need to say something to smooth it over and draw him back in, but I’m at a total loss for words.

“I know it’s stupid,” I mumble, smoothing my hair over my shoulder. “I guess I was just jealous. I don’t know.”

He shakes his head, pacing a few steps away and scrubbing a hand over his face. He’s not saying anything, and the silence is killing me. I hop down off of the dresser, padding over to him. I reach out for his arm and he returns his gaze to mine. I can’t get a read on his expression.

“Were you?” I ask. “With someone else?”

“No,” he replies simply, darting his eyes away and shrugging my hand off of his arm.

“Then what’s wrong?”

Gray heaves a sigh, spinning back around to face me. “This… whatever this is between us, it’s gotta stop.”

His words tear open a hole in my chest, like I just took a bullet.

“Wh… what?” I breathe, my voice barely audible. My own frantic heartbeat pulses in my ears.

He shakes his head, furrowing his brow. “It’s just screwing things up for both of us, Fallon. I’m not focused on the squad and you’re not focused on training.” His voice is strained; there’s so much regret and finality in his tone. “You almost tore Hannah’s arm off tonight, and now you’re saying it was because of me?”

“Gray…” I say hoarsely, reaching up to touch his cheek.

He takes my hand, lifting it off of his face and lowering it. He holds it between his for a moment, then lets go, putting distance between our bodies once again. He scowls, and I’m bracing myself for the worst when he looks at me again.

“I’ll let you stay and train,” he mumbles.

I’m so flooded with relief that I want to fling myself into his arms, but the way he’s looking at me gives me pause. He said I can stay, but in his eyes, it looks like he’s saying goodbye.

“Gray, I…”

He holds up a hand. “Alpha Gray.” He draws a breath, and from his expression I already know I’m not going to like what he says next. “From here on out, things between us have to stay strictly professional. I never should’ve crossed that line in the first place.”

I should be ecstatic that he’s agreed to let me stay and keep training, but instead, I’m…numb. An uncomfortable silence settles between us and he darts his eyes away, stabbing his fingers through his hair again. He makes his way over to the door, turning the knob and pulling it open. There’s my exit cue.

“Yes sir,” I manage to croak. I head for the door, and though I feel him watching me, I can’t bring myself to look his way.

I should fight back, beg forhimto keep me, too. It’s not in my nature to walk away when I really want something, but it just hurts so fucking much. I don’t even know why his dismissal guts me the way it does- it’s not like we were in a relationship or anything. We barely know each other; we just had a couple of hot hookups. I shouldn’t feel like my heart is torn open and bleeding right now.

Actions have consequences. I’ve been dealing with the consequences of my impulsive actions all my life, but I’ve never lost so much all at once. I lost my cool, lost control, and almost lost everything tonight. I’ve got my spot at training camp back, but I’ve lost Gray.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Gray

“Well, what’s the word?” Theo asks as I approach him and the other guys in the arena the next morning. I asked them to meet me here a little early so we could discuss what happened last night and make sure they’re okay with reinstating Fallon. I have a feeling Brock’s going to push back, so I’m already bracing myself for the worst.

“Good morning to you, too,” I grumble, settling my hands on my hips. My eyes are heavy from lack of sleep- I was tossing and turning all night, regretting how things ended with Fallon and dreading this conversation. “I assume you all know what I want to talk about,” I say, looking around at Jax, Brock, Reid, and Theo.

Jax cracks a smile. “Yeah, we figured it was about what your girl did last night.”

I sigh, staring at the ground and kicking at the dirt. “Yeah.”

I wish the fight between Hannah and Fallon hadn’t happened, and I wish even more that it wasn’t over me. The whole situation just sucks.

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