Page 103 of Alpha Gray

The skies are angry tonight. It’s pouring down rain, and I almost find it amusing that the weather is so accurately reflecting my emotions. Maybe it’ll wash all of that away, leave me clean. I lead the charge out the back doors of the packhouse, into the yard as the heavy rain pelts my skin and quickly drenches my clothes. Most of the others will probably stow their clothes inside to prevent them from getting wet, but mine soak through before I peel them off, tossing them into the muddy grass, skin tingling with my shift.

When I’m on four paws as my wolf, I shake droplets of rain from my fur, craning back my neck and releasing a low, guttural howl. My pack members follow suit, shucking their clothing and shifting to observe the monthly ritual of the full moon run. Their wolves bound in my direction and I spin around to face the treeline at the back of the packhouse property, taking off into the forest.

My mind languishes as I make my way through the trees, the adrenaline of the run taking over. My paws slide on the wet earth as I leap over fallen trunks, dodge downed branches. The smell of the rain is so strong that it’s difficult to discern any other scents out in the forest tonight, but that’s alright with me. I’m not looking for my mate. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve already found her. And lost her.

I take my usual route, veering at the border of our territory, traversing the perimeter. The heavy rain wicks off of my fur, my undercoat keeping me warm in spite of the chilly summer storm. My paws pound the earth as I run faster, harder, trying to drown out the last of my nagging regrets.

Suddenly, a strange sensation comes over me- a pull, like a fist clenching around my heart and yanking me back in the other direction. It reminds me of the sensation I felt on the last full moon run, but this time it’s so much stronger, closer. Mud sprays from underneath my paws as I skid to a stop, throwing my head to the sky and inhaling.

Holy fuck.

Fruit. Wildflowers. Honey. Sunshine and ripened vines. It’s the most delectable scent I’ve ever come across, my entire body tingles with excitement as it envelopes me. I have to get closer, have to find it, touch it, taste it. I spring forward again, nose to the air, running to follow it as fast as my paws will carry me.

Fallon

“Hurry up, girls! We’re going to be late!” Mom calls up the stairs.

Brooke looks over at me from where she’s perched on her bed, watching as I pace in front of the window.

“Are you really not going back?” she asks, eyes wide behind her black framed glasses.

I skid to a stop, whipping my head around to look at her. “It’s too late now, isn’t it?”

Brooke looks a little taken aback by the way I snap at her and I immediately soften my expression, sighing and stepping closer.

“Sorry,” I say, shaking my head. “I just… my head’s a mess. I really screwed this one up, didn’t I?”

My sister gives me a sympathetic smile, patting the spot beside her on the bed. I sink down onto it, allowing her to lean over and drape her arms around my shoulders and press her forehead against mine.

“It’s gonna be okay, Fallon. And it’s not too late.” Her voice is so soothing, taking the edge off my stress. I’ve been having a complete fucking meltdown for the last hour, vacillating between going to Goldenleaf and facing the music and staying here, preserving the mystery of whether Gray and I are fated.

Brooke pulls back to stare into my eyes with her identical ones, waiting for me to speak.

“Even if he says it won’t end with the full moon, it will,” I say, my voice gravelly. “I’m not that naïve. How could we possibly keep this up if we know we aren’t mates?”

My sister’s lips tip up into a little smile as she shakes her head patronizingly. “Well what’s your plan then, avoid the moon forever?”

Girl’s got a point. I haven’t thought this through- even if I stay here with my pack tonight, return to the complex tomorrow, and carry on with Gray as if everything’s the same- there’s next month to contend with. And the month after that. Not many things in life are a constant, but the moon’s cycle is.

Eventually, the moon will catch up with me. If it confirms that Gray and I aren’t mates, it’ll fucking hurt. What it really comes down to is whether I want to hurt now or hurt later.

“Let me ask you this,” Brooke says, sliding her arms from around my shoulders and sitting up straighter. “If you find out he isn’t your mate, will your feelings for him change?”

I swallow hard, considering her question. Being mates has never been part of the equation for Gray and me- I always assumed he wasn’t my mate, but I fell for him anyways. If the moon confirms we aren’t fated, those feelings won’t just disappear. He says he’s crazy about me, and no matter how much I keep trying to deny it, I’m fucking crazy about him, too.

I shake my head. “No.”

Brooke takes my hand, squeezing it. “There’s your answer.”

She’s right. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. It’s been right in front of me all this time- I didn’t need to agonize over flipping the bird to fate and choosing Gray as my mate because there’s no choice to make, not anymore. My heart has already chosen him.

“Now go!” Brooke laughs, shoving me playfully.

“But… it’s too late,” I croak, shaking my head again.

“Nuh uh, no more excuses.” Brooke rises to stand, taking my hand and tugging me up with her. “Go get your man, Fallon.”

I dart her a mischievous glance, my lips curling into a smirk. I like the sound of that.Myman.Mine.

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