Page 102 of Alpha Gray

I can see Gray’s wolf in his eyes, swirling golden in his irises. “Why?” he demands, and his aggressive tone makes me shrink back from him instinctively.

I don’t know how to put what I’m feeling into words. Gray’s finally all in on this, and now I’m the one with fears; I’m the one with doubts. I’m scared to death of what the full moon could mean for us, that it’ll change his feelings. I’m afraid to face our inevitable ending.

I suck in a breath, reaching out to touch his face again, the stubble of his jaw rough against my palm. “You know why. The moon. I don’t want it to change… this.”

Gray furrows his brow, sighing as he pulls me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me and resting his cheek against the top of my head. His embrace feels so warm, so safe.

“I just don’t want this to end,” I whisper. The prickle of tears stings the back of my eyes as I draw ragged breaths, forcing them back.

“It’s not going to end, baby,” Gray murmurs against my hair. He pulls away again, planting his hands on my shoulders and staring down into my eyes with that wicked intensity that slices straight through me. “Listen, I don’t give a damn what happens when the moon’s full. If we aren’t mates, then fate’s got it wrong. I’m crazy about you, I don’t want anyone else.”

His tone is so earnest, the weight of his words heavy. I swallow hard, my throat raw, my chest feeling hollow. To say I’m confused would be a colossal understatement. Here’s this guy I fucking adore, saying all the right things, laying everything on the line for meagain, and part of me wants to run in the other direction.What the fuck is wrong with me?

I gnaw on my bottom lip, diverting my gaze to the ground. My common sense is crippled by fear. Fear that things will change, fear of the unknown.

Gray sighs again, moving one of his hands to my face and tipping up my chin so my eyes meet his again. “I choose you, Fallon. You’re my mate, whether fate confirms that or not.”

Warmth spreads in my chest at his words, but it’s quickly chased away by the chill of apprehension.

It’s like Gray can sense it, because his lips part to speak again, his gaze still as intense as ever. “What do you want?”

There it is, that same question he asked me back when this whole thing started, only now it’s a loaded one. He wants an answer, one that I’m not ready to give. I suddenly realize that whether I return for the full moon or not, things are going to change between us. They already have. And try as I might, I can’t stop the moon.

“I… need some time to think.”

I drop my hands from Gray’s body, taking a step back. The raw vulnerability in his eyes dissolves to something else- regret? Anger? I’m not sure, because he darts them away, scrubbing a hand over his face and breathing a heavy sigh.

“Fine.”

When he returns his gaze to mine, I can finally discern the look in his eyes. It’s pain.

Gray grabs for me, pulling my body to crash into his, stamping his lips down onto mine. There’s a zing of electricity as our mouths connect again, shooting straight down to my core as heat pools between my legs. His velvety tongue twines with mine, devouring me, taking everything I have. I whine into his mouth, dizzy with the intensity of his kiss.

Fuck. I hope this isn’t goodbye.

Slowly, he pulls back, my eyes fluttering open to see those gorgeous eyes staring down at me, cutting through me again.

“Go on,” Gray murmurs.

My knees are wobbly as I take a shaky step back, steadying myself. I start to turn away, but his lips part to speak again.

“I hope you’ll come back to me, baby.”

CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

Gray

They say if you love something, you should let it go. So I did. I set her free, and I don’t think she’s coming back.

I still have no regrets.

Those weeks I spent with Fallon were the first time I’ve felt alive- reallyalive- in a long time. For the past five years, I’ve been numb, frozen in my grief, pushing forward blindly and refusing to let anyone or anything in, refusing to reallyfeelanything. Throwing myself into my duties as alpha and to the security squad to avoid any semblance of an actual personal life. Then Fallon came along and started chipping away at the dam, breaking it down and causing a flood.

Even if she doesn’t come back, at least I had that glimpse at happiness for a moment. I now know for certain that there can be real joy in life on the other side of the pain I’ve been suffering since my family was ripped away from me. She’s both broken and healed my heart in one fell swoop.

When I come downstairs to start greeting the pack members for the full moon run, Deke doesn’t even ask where Fallon is. He doesn’t have to- he knows me better than anyone, and I’m sure he can see the broken look in my eyes. My heart’s so raw that I’m not even sure if it’s still beating in my chest. No matter how I’m feeling, though, I still have a duty to my pack to uphold. I’m still their alpha, I still have to lead the run. Even if I’m breaking on the inside.

I keep my pre-run announcements short and sweet tonight, while Holly just looks on at me sadly. I know how much she wanted this for me, how much hope she held out that Fallon was the one. I’ll feel better once I shift and run, shove my human side back and give myself over to my wolf. Let him take the lead for a while so I can have a fucking break.

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