Page 60 of Wicked Devotions

Twenty-Three

HARPER

Olivia follows me up the stairs, a small bag in her hands. I lead her into Declan’s room and close the door behind us. Luckily, he has an armchair by his bookcase and a desk chair so we can sit and comfortably converse.

“I know this is probably uncomfortable, but as someone who has been in similar shoes, I want to check in with you. How are you feeling with everything? Anything you say will stay between us.”

She’s right, it is awkward, but there’s somethingso calming about her presence. My gut says I can trust her. “I’m okay. I’m obviously scared with these letters, but physically I’m good.”

“Are you sleeping well?”

I glance at the bed. The only time I sleep well is if I’m in bed with one of the guys. Part of me wants to ask her about how her relationship works, how they came to talk about things, but that feels too personal. I don’t want to step over boundaries.

“Sleep comes under certain conditions.”

Her eyes travel to the bed. “So if you’re not alone?”

My cheeks heat as I nod. “Declan hasn’t been my stepbrother for that long, and we didn’t grow up together or anything.”

She smiles and holds a hand up. “I’d never judge anyone else’s relationship as long as everyone is consenting and safe.” She sobers a bit. “Is everyone being safe?”

“Yes.” At least so far.

“Good. I can write you a prescription for something to help you with anxiety or sleep if you’d like.”

My dad didn’t believe in prescriptions for mental health issues. He always preached about how prayer and trust in God would cure any of that. I battle back the overwhelming and achinglyfamiliar tidal wave of shame threatening to drown me.

“I don’t know,” I finally choke out.

“How about I write them, and you decide whether or not to fill them?” She tilts her head and meets my gaze. “I’m going to be intrusive one more time and ask if you want or need a prescription for birth control?”

That’s something that completely would have slipped my mind. “Yeah, I should probably have that.”

“Okay.” She smiles at me warmly.

After that she asks me a few medical questions to get a basic medical history. The longer we speak, the more comfortable I become. She explains all the different types of birth control she could prescribe. I decide on the pill as it seems the easiest for my circumstances at the time but promise to make an appointment for an exam soon.

After she hands me the three slips for my prescriptions, she stands to go back downstairs.

“Wait,” I say quickly.

She looks at me with curiosity.

“Can I ask you something kind of personal? About your relationship?”

“Yes.”

“Declan mentioned that you are polyam, and I have to admit I didn’t know that was even a thing.”

She smiles and nods for me to continue.

“My longtime boyfriend just came out to me as asexual. Another thing I didn’t know much about.” I probably sound so naive and ignorant right now. “But he suggested being in the type of relationship you are in because he does love me and doesn’t want to lose me. I don’t want to lose him either.”

“Okay.”

“I just wonder how you make it work?”

“Lots of talking, all of us together and then individually with each other. Relationships like this are built on honesty and open lines of communication. Every relationship within our dynamic is different. We’re not always with each other as a group. I spent a majority of my time at our house in Costa Rica working at a clinic down there, usually with Lake and Nolan when they’re not off on a job. Sawyer and Grant, who isn’t here today, both work in New York for much of the year, but we prioritize each other above everything else.”

---