Page 66 of Wicked Devotions

“Everything.” He looks at Cy. “You go first.”

“I’m good.” Cy glances at him innocently. “Family stuff is going well, so are my art classes.”

“Any fights coming up?” Emerson asks.

Cy nods. “There’s one I’m going to do at the end of the month.”

“We’ll make sure one of us can go with you,” Declan says. “Emerson?”

“I’m good. You know everything about my life.”

“Harper?”

“Classes are good. I’m doing better than I thought I would, especially adding in working at the stables.”

“Any letters or weird feelings like you’re being watched?” Emerson asks.

“No. Things feel kind of back to normal.” Aside from tiptoeing around the guys about whatever is happening between us. Olivia’s words about opencommunication have been on repeat in my mind. “I was wondering if we should talk about things.”

“What things?” Declan asks.

“The nature of our relationships,” I say quietly. “I had a talk with Olivia about their relationship, and it got me thinking about us.”

The guys share a look I can’t decipher. What if they don’t think there is an us? I’m so inexperienced I could be misinterpreting everything. They’re all so much more experienced than me. Self-preservation kicks in, and I try to get up.

Declan and Emerson both stop me.

“Calm down. We can talk about anything.”

“We’ve actually been wanting to have this conversation, but we didn’t want to pressure you,” Cy says.

“Have you been talking about it?” I ask. “What you want?”

“Yes,” they all answer at the same time.

“But we want you to tell us what you want first,” Declan says.

“Why can’t you just go first?” The thought of putting myself out there like this is terrifying. What if I have misunderstood what’s happening? I have so much less experience than them.

“Because it’s important for us that your wantsand needs are given as much importance as ours. We’re worried that if we told you what we’re thinking, you’ll feel obligated to oblige us. And you owe us nothing. We’re all equals.”

I drag in a deep breath. What they’re saying does make me feel better in some ways. But I still have to take the first step and trust them with my thoughts and feelings, which is something I’m not used to. I guard both of those things like a dragon guards its nest, because they’re all that’s ever been mine and mine alone.

They are asking me to trust them. In return I’m hoping they don’t hurt me. Three sets of eyes watch me patiently as I work to find my courage. Emerson puts his hand on my knee and squeezes. The comforting gesture does the trick, giving me what I need in the moment to open up.

“This is obviously overwhelming for me, and confusing in some ways, because what I want is so far outside of what I even knew was possible in relationships. All I’ve been exposed to before you three is what society sees as traditional marriages. You date a member of the opposite sex, fall in love, get engaged, and then married. That’s what I thought I’d have with Banks.

“But now there’s you three. And Banks doesn’twant a traditional life, certainly not one that could totally fulfill a need I’m beginning to understand I have. I crave touch.” My cheeks flame at the confession. “The more I experience with you, the more I want. But it isn’t just the physical acts.”

I look at Cyrus. “You understand me on a deep level. I feel comfortable just being with you, like I could say anything or do anything, and you’d just join me.”

He smiles at me.

My attention turns to Declan. “You make me angry.”

He smirks.

“But not in a way that makes me want to cut you off, in a way that pushes me forward. I know that’s something I need.”

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