Mom rolls her eyes, but her lips lift just slightly. “Only to point out your mistake.”
This is weird. Are they bantering? Enjoying dinner with me?
“Why are you looking at us like that?” Mom asks.
“Just wondering what parallel universe I walked into. I must have missed the portal on my way in.”
“Don’t be strange.” Mom’s usual haughtiness returns. All is right in the world again.
“We don’t usually banter and joke, you know that as much as I do. In fact, the last time I saw you, you couldn’t wait to grab your money and run, so I’m sorry if I’m caught off guard here.”
I decided long before I asked them to dinner that, from now on, I’m holding them accountable for the things they’ve done. No more doing things just to try to please them. I’m living life forme.
Nonetheless, I brace myself for an icy retort from my mom. Or maybe an annoyed eye roll from my dad, perhaps even a walkout at my rude, cutting remark. What I don’t expect to see are their matching looks of contrition.
“You’re right.”
“What?” My eyebrows are raised so high they’re nearly at my hairline.
“Close your mouth, you look like a fish,” Mom says.
At least I know she hasn’t been body snatched.
“We realized months ago when you told us that you were engaged that we had messed up raising you. Our drive to be published, to be tenured, to win all the awards always had our attention over you. Despite that, you turned out amazing.” Dad’s eyes turn glassy. “You’re intelligent, you’re beautiful, and you have the biggest heart. We were terrified of you wasting it on Brandon, someone who dulled your shine.”
“We didn’t want to be around him, but at the same time, we also knew we didn’t have a say in your decisions. We haven’t in years. We’re sorry for not letting you be little and forcing you into maturity so young.” My mom’s words feel genuine, especially when she reaches across the table and squeezes my fingers.
“We’re proud of you for what you’ve done the past few months,” Dad adds.
“Breaking my engagement and quitting my job?” I ask skeptically.
“Yes.” He nods emphatically. “Best news ever.”
The server brings our plates, giving me a moment to collect myself. This dinner is giving me whiplash. I had myself fortified with antagonism toward them, but they’ve turned the tables on me.
“How is everything going at the ranch? Have you decided what you’re going to do with it?”
This will be the determining conversation. I felt like they were judging me for moving to Colorado when I told them my intention to work the ranch. Could I have misperceived them in that conversation? It wouldn’t be a stretch since I’m always on the defensive with them.
“Luke and I are actually going into business together. Turning the ranch into a dude ranch.” I look back and forth between them, awaiting their reaction.
“That’s actually a good idea. It’s a booming business,” Dad says before taking a bite of his pasta.
“It’s gorgeous there, too. Lots of opportunities for hiking and horseback riding,” Mom adds.
“Yeah.” I look down at my salad as my eyes sting. Why does it feel so good but bittersweet to finally have them approve of something I’m doing? I feel like I could cry. Or vomit.
I hate that I still crave their approval. But it feels so good to have. I wasn’t expecting this, and now I don’t know how to behave.
Keep it together, Eli.
I push my conflicting feelings deep inside for the Eli of tomorrow to deal with. I’m just going to enjoy this moment with my parents for what it is while I have it. After a few minutes talking about plans for the ranch, I ask them about their current research. They tell me about their latest project, writing a textbook on basic college-level geology, along with thechallenges of writing something of that size with your spouse. I’m not surprised to hear the debates are plentiful.
Mom has to drop Dad back off campus to teach a graduate class, but she offers to drive me back to Amber’s condo. The drive is nice; we talk about everything from the upcoming election cycle to the best footwear for me to buy for all the ranch work I’ll be doing come this spring. It’s the type of interaction I always wished I would have with her.
“Oh.” Mom reaches over as I’m about to step out of the car. “Before you go, I found this letter from Jo in the folder from the attorney. It must have been misplaced.”
“What’s in it?” I ask as I take it from her.