Page 73 of Promise You Forever

“Which you and I both know you wouldn’t have.”

“I definitely would not have.”

She takes a bite of her food and chews thoughtfully. I know she’s already thinking through this on every level and from every angle.

“What bothers you most about this? The actual money part or the fact that it was a lie of omission?” she finally asks.

“Both, honestly. I was so proud of earning my degree on my own. It was like a beacon of my independence from my parents, but now it doesn’t feel as significant because I didn’t earn it. Butthe lying really gets me, too. He knows that I’m having trouble trusting him. I’m hesitant to let him back in because of how much he hurt me in the past, but then he goes and does this? Lets me think he’s been completely transparent with me only to withhold this information? It doesn’t feel good.”

“Why didn’t he tell you sooner?”

“He says he meant to.” I shrug. “I didn’t really give him much time to explain it to me.”

“Other than this situation, do you think he’s changed?”

I’d have to be the most oblivious person on the planet to not notice his changes. He’s always there for me in whatever way I need him to be, from saving my dog from a mountain lion to holding my hand after leaving a visit with Gramps. He’s just there and steady, always.

“Yes, he has.”

She nods and crumples her burger wrapper. “Here’s what I think, he’s made massive strides since the summer you spent with him. All the therapy and growth he’s shown is impressive. You seem happy on our FaceTime calls, I can see light coming back into your eyes, even when you’re sad about your grandparents.”

She’s not wrong on those points. I see happiness when I look in the mirror. Until now I hadn’t linked it to Luke, but how can he not be part of the reason? His presence is interwoven in the fabric of my life now.

“This was a shitty way to find out that he did a kind thing. I don’t think you should look at it as something you didn’t earn. You still had a full ride from UCLA for your academics. You earned that. This is really not that far removed from a gift from an anonymous benefactor.”

“So, you’re team Luke.”

“I’m team Eli, always and forever. He is, too, he’s just been on the bench the past couple years.” She stands and picks up thetray with our trash. “Let’s go get frozen yogurt and plot all the ways to make him sweat, though.”

Twenty-Eight

LUKE

Sage green paint now covers the walls of the primary bedroom that once belonged to Paul and Jo. As soon as I saw the paint chip, I knew it was the one. It contrasts perfectly with the warmth of the solid wood furniture and hardwood floors.

“This is such a good color.” Janey affirms my choice as she sets her roller down. “I think she’s going to love it.”

“I hope so.”

I’d been planning on doing this since the day she told me she’d be spending a week in December in LA to tie up loose ends in her life back there. She went through the closet and dresser here already, so I think she was close to ready to move in.

“Do you think this will be enough to get you out of the doghouse?” Janey tucks a few of her signature blue strands behind her ear.

“I didn’t plan this for that reason. She told me to give her time, which I am.” In fact, I moved my clothes back to my cabin, anticipating she’ll need space, too.

“Are you okay with that?”

“I’ve told her that I love her, now I’m going to show her.”

“For what it’s worth, I think she loves you, too. I don’t think she ever fell out of love with you. She was just in deep denial.” She looks around the room for a minute, taking it all in. “When are you bringing the bed in?”

“Tomorrow because the new mattress is set to arrive the day after.”

“And she gets in late that night, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“Cutting it kind of close, aren’t you?”

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