Page 69 of Promise You Forever

I hate that she’s going to LA tomorrow. She’ll be gone for the entire week, and what am I supposed to do with her being hundreds of miles away? My anxiety is already skyrocketing, which is my problem to deal with, not hers. At least I know that when she comes back, she’s staying. All her things that she can’t live without will be here.

I offered to pay for movers to do it, but she made a good point about seeing her family for the holidays. Who am I to interfere if she wants to attempt to connect with her parents? I just hope they don’t do or say anything to upset her when I’m not there to comfort or stand up for her.

I pull my phone out to text Janey and let her know I’m on my way to get her. At least she’s coming with me today. Having her and Coop there will keep Dad distracted.

I’m on my way

I’ll be ready

I chuckle because there’s a ninety-nine percent chance she will not be ready when I show up. Eli yells goodbye from the office; unfortunately, we’re not at the kiss goodbye stage regardless of how much I wish we were. I still haven’t told anyone about us. I think maybe Amber knows, but Eli and Janey haven’t been able to spend much time together.

That’ll have to change going forward. I love that they’re such good friends, they need each other out here. Most of the women in town are gossips at best and judgmental snobs at worst. It was so hard for Janey when she came back from Boulder to help take care of Mom. Especially with me being such a mess from losing Amy. The least I can do is help her foster a close relationship with the woman I love.

It’ll be easier once Coop is a little older and Sam and I can take him around the ranch with us. We can teach him how to ride. He can learn the responsibilities of taking care of animals. I don’t even let myself think about the possibility of Eli and Ihaving babies. It’s a scenario too perfect for words, and I don’t want to put the cart before the horse.

As soon as I pull up to the small house that I once owned, the front door opens to the sight of my sister holding her half-dressed son and covered in spit up. She waits for me to climb the steps before thrusting Cooper at me.

“He has an extra outfit in the diaper bag. You get him dressed while I change clothes.” She disappears before I can even get a word in.

I don’t know how to dress a baby. I look down at my nephew whose little fist grabs at the stubble on my jaw. He seems unperturbed by the entire situation as he looks up at me.

Once I find the extra outfit Janey mentioned, I lay Coop on the couch beside me. His diaper looks dry so that’s a plus. Sam told me he’s been sprayed several times by his son. Personally, I think he probably deserved it. I’ll cheer on Coop in peeing on his dad any day. I’d rather not be a recipient of the golden shower though.

I hold up the shirt he’s to wear, thoroughly confused because it looks more like a woman’s bathing suit than a shirt. How the hell am I supposed to get this on him? It’s only upon further inspection that I notice snaps across the crotch. I try to sit him to slide the shirt over his head, but he just giggles and slumps to the side like a little drunken gnome.

“Help me out here, Coop.” I carefully slide his arms through the sleeves, terrified I’m going to break him or something. Why is he still so little and delicate?

“You don’t have him dressed yet?” Janey sounds exasperated as she comes down the stairs.

“I don’t know how to dress a baby. I don’t want to break him, and he keeps slumping over. Why can’t he sit up yet?”

She laughs and shoos me away. “He’s only three months old. He’s barely started rolling over yet.” I watch partially fascinated,partially horrified as she just tugs the clothes over his body. She’s clearly not afraid of breaking his fragile little extremities. “Have you talked to Dad at all lately?”

“No. Not in a few months. Why?”

“He told me he’s in stage five kidney failure along with his liver. His doctors have said he isn’t an ideal candidate for a transplant.”

“That means what exactly?”

“He’s dying.”

I feel nothing when hearing that. His years of leaving us alone to go sow his wild oats on the rodeo circuit bred nothing but antipathy in me. Watching my mom struggle to feed us and then fight cancer on her own while he was off fucking women from Montana to Texas and not giving one damn about us means I owe him nothing. Booze and cigarettes were more important to him than we ever were.

“Are you okay?” I ask her. She’s always had this hope that one day he’d wake up and want to be a bigger part of our lives.

She shrugs and picks Cooper up. “There’s nothing that can be done. He’ll probably be placed in hospice soon.”

I set my hand on her shoulder, forcing her to stop and look up at me. “But are you okay?” I ask again.

“I don’t know.” Tears fill her eyes. “That’s the best I can do right now.”

“Okay, I won’t push.” I pull her close to give her a hug and kiss the top of Coop’s head. “I switched vehicles with Eli today, so the backseat is ready for the car seat.”

“How’s everything going with her?”

“She’s good.” I’m torn on whether to open up to Janey about how things are going between Eli and me. On the one hand, Janey is my sister, and if I can talk to anyone, it would be her. But on the other hand, things are so good right now. I don’twant to let outside voices into the good thing we have going on. “Going back to LA for the week tomorrow.”

“Right. I feel like I’ve barely seen her since she’s moved back.” She straps Coop into his car seat and then lets me pick it up by the handle. “Hopefully after the holidays everything slows down.”

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