Page 50 of Promise You Forever

“Maybe you should kiss him.”

I still haven’t told her anything about what happened between us. Not when I’m still trying to work through everything on my own. If I were to give him another chance, it needs to be on my terms without interference from people we know.

“Really?” I ask, surprised that she’s seemingly on his side.

“Yeah. I know he was awful and what he did and said were nearly unforgivable, but the way he looks at you is something else.”

“What do you mean?”

“Yesterday he kept stealing glances your way, and there was just something in his eyes that softened me a bit. I’m not saying jump right into something heavy with him but maybe let yourself be open to the possibility.”

I bite the inside of my cheek, wondering whether I should come clean or not. It might help me think through it if I get out in the open and off my chest. My resolve is weakening, whether I want to admit it to myself or not, and Amber’s opinion won’t sway me that much.

“Okay, spill.” She pokes me in the temple. “I can hear you thinking over there.”

“We actually did sleep together already.”

“I knew it,” she squeals. “When?”

“Just once, right after the mountain lion almost attacked Charlie and he scared it off. I knocked on his door to say thank you after I had calmed down and we just came together like a set of magnets.”

“Literally, I hope. God knows you deserve a good lay after Brandstain.”

“Yes, literally. It was just as good as I remembered. Maybe even better.”

“Does he want more than sex?”

“Yes. He’s made it clear. He wants a second chance.”

“I’m going to ask a question, it’s a yes or no answer, and I want you to respond with the first thought that comes into your head. Don’t overthink it.”

“Okay.”

“Do you trust him?”

“Yes.” My gut, my heart, my entire being’s first inclination is to trust him. The hesitation only comes when my mind sprinkles doubt into the equation.

“Do you just want sex?”

I do think about that question. Do I want to try to be in a relationship with Luke or fall back into our pattern of hookups? Trusting him enough to put myself in the vulnerable position of exploring the possibility of a relationship is scary.

But then I think about the unadulterated fear in his eyes when he realized I was going skiing. How he said he wouldn’t survive if I was hurt. That had to be equally hard for him to admit. Maybe I can meet him in the middle.

“I think if I open that door, I’m going to want more than sex. He will, too.”

She nods, as if she knew that all along. “The good news is that you don’t have to come to a conclusion today. There’s no expiration date on your time together. Take your time making your decision because we both know you have deeper feelings for him than you ever did anyone else. It’s okay to be cautious.”

“You’re right. Let’s table this conversation and just focus on having fun before you fly back home tomorrow morning.”

Twenty

LUKE

Time has never crawled by like it is while Eli is away skiing. My stomach is tied in knots that only she can untangle. Both Sam and Colt have been doing their best to distract me, but I’m pretty sure they’ve seen my hands shaking.

If it were one of them on the verge of a nervous breakdown, I’d tell them to go home, but I know I’ll only be even more of a mess if I stop working. At least I can lose myself in the mundane daily tasks as a semi-distraction.

What if she falls?

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