“Money is important to survival.”
I can tell by the set of his shoulders that he’s not going to back down. He won’t see this from my point of view. It always has to be his way, and I just can’t anymore.
“I think you should go. I just need time to absorb all this.”
“I can’t believe you’re pushing me away right now.” He scoffs and shoves his hands in his pockets. “You know what? Fine. I’ll go so you can figure everything out on your own. Call me when you’re ready.”
I watch him stalk off toward the house, and for the first time since I heard the news about Grams, I feel some weight lifted from my chest. I don’t want to face my parents right now, either, so I go to the one place I know none of them would look to find me.
The goat shed.
I don’t care that I’m wearing an eight-hundred-dollar dress or designer shoes as I walk through their little pasture and sit down in the corner of the shed. Rose is the first to come see me, and she lays down on my outstretched legs. Dorothy andBlanche come wandering in a few minutes later. They stop by the hay feeder first, but then come lie down around me.
Blanche even grants me the honor of allowing me to get a few pets in. The quiet of the afternoon mixes with the emotional comedown of the day to lull me into a relaxed state. Or maybe just dissociative.
Rose’s warmth leaving as she stands up jars me awake. As I blink my eyes to clear the sleep, I notice Luke standing over me. Charlie bounds around him, her tongue lolling happily as she jumps on me for excited pets and kisses.
“I’ve been looking for you.” He holds out a hand to help me up.
“Sorry.” I put my hand in his and allow him to help me up. “I needed to be alone.”
“Shouldn’t be a problem now.” He pulls a piece of straw from my hair. “You smell like a goat, doubt many people will be pestering you.” He steps to the side, so I can exit first.
“Still better than you.” I open the gate and let it swing closed against him. “Is anyone still here?”
“Just Jasmine and Paul. She gave him a dose of sedatives because he was having trouble calming down.”
“I should have gone to check on him.”
“It wouldn’t matter. The part of him that does remember is devastated and the part that doesn’t is confused. Nothing is going to make it okay for him.”
I frown at that, just now realizing how much Luke can empathize. I haven’t even really checked in on him with all this going on. It’s bound to have stirred up feelings and memories for him.
“Are you doing okay?”
He gives me a sad smile. “I’m alright.”
“Good. It couldn’t have been easy to be the one to find her.”
“Never is. Try not to die on my watch, I don’t want to go three for three.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“I started therapy.”
Good.If anyone needs it, it’s him.
“Do you want a cookie?” I sass at him, unwilling to walk down the path that leads to our past.
“Yeah, actually. A cookie sounds amazing.”
“I hate you,” I say with no heat as we walk side by side.
“Whatever gets you through the day, Sunbeam.”
I should tell him not to call me that. The way it softens my resolve to keep him at arm’s length is dangerous. But I’m too weak to deny myself that comfort and familiarity today. I’ll say no tomorrow.
As we walk into the kitchen, Jasmine looks up from wiping the counter. “You found her.”