Page 16 of Promise You Forever

“Brandon,” I say his name sharply. “I don’t need this right now.”

“I didn’t mean anything negative by it. You’re just bigger than sample size, is all. If that fact hurts your feelings, Eliana, you could always go on a diet.”

I lost thirty pounds when I went back to LA that summer and dropped from a size twelve to a size eight. Still Brandon is forever suggesting I try a new diet or new type of exercise trend.Honestly, I used to bask in the attention I received from him following the weight loss, but now it’s exhausting.

“Could you go out in the bedroom and look for my bottle of ibuprofen? I feel a headache coming on.”

“Of course.” He kisses me on the forehead before walking out into the bedroom.

I take the opportunity to stand up and begin drying off. Thankfully Amber packed my favorite flannel pajamas. I’ll be nice and cozy, even if I’m angry and cold toward Brandon.

Six

LUKE

Watching another man comfort Eli is exactly the type of torment I deserve. I’m lying in the bed I made. But that doesn’t stop me from having violent fantasies of snapping each of the fingers currently splayed across her lower back right off.

If my therapist was here, he would probably say something about my focus being on Eli to distract me from the pain of the last two funerals I attended. In fact, I could turn my head to the right and see my mother’s headstone or to the left and see Amy’s. Instead, I keep my eyes focused on Eli’s back.

She stands beside Paul, her arm wrapped around his forearm comfortingly. Her parents are on his other side. I had met her father once before, way back when I was just a part-time ranch hand, but surprisingly enough he remembered me. The interaction I had with them this morning was warmer than the chilly reception they received from Eli.

Not that I blame her. How could you feel any type of affection for the people who wanted nothing more than a carbon copy of themselves but when she turned out to be an individual, left her behind? The way she’d described her childhood to me was so far from what I had. Sure, they had money and trips, but she didn’t have the type of love that Janey and I had from our mother. Even my asshole father hugs me every time we see each other.

The sound of Jo’s casket being lowered into the ground breaks me free from my thoughts. Janey, who has been sitting beside me, reaches out to rub Eli’s back as she silently sobs. Colt squeezes Paul’s shoulder as he fights for composure.

Jasmine warned us that the days following something like this can be tumultuous. Paul will likely have more bad days than good moving forward. I don’t know what his family will decide to do with everything, but I’m willing to keep working as long as I can. At least helping with Paul gives my life more meaning than just working from sunup to sundown.

As people disperse after the service, I find myself walking over to Amy’s grave. I crouch down and run my fingers over her headstone like I have so many times before. I used to come here to punish myself, I know that now, after spending thousands on therapy the past few years. Now I come here to honor her, and the love we once shared.

I think she’d be proud of how far I’ve come. I push to my feet after a couple minutes, and as I stand my eyes lock with the stormy gray eyes belonging to Eli. Emotion flashes through them, so quick anyone else would miss it, when she looks at my feet and sees where I’m standing. Her gaze jerks forward, and she follows her parents to the car waiting for them.

“Are you going back to the ranch?” Sam asks, carrying my sleeping nephew in his arms.

“Yeah.” I brush my thumb over Cooper’s smooth cheek. “The family attorney wants to see Eli, her parents, and me this afternoon.”

“Did Jo have a will or anything?”

“We never talked about it, so I have no idea.”

“Keep us posted. Janey wants you at the house for dinner tomorrow night.”

“I’ll be there.”

By the time I make it back to the ranch, everyone is in the living room waiting for me. Eli’s seated in one of the wingback chairs and her parents on the sofa while the attorney sits with a manilla folder in his lap. He slides his phone in his pocket and stands to shake my hand.

When I look at Eli, it’s very obvious that she’s doing her best to avoid me. Her spine is stiff and straight and her eyes still bloodshot. A tear rolls down her cheek, and she bats it away quickly, dragging a deep breath in which makes her collar bones jut out.

She’s so much thinner now. It feels like a knife being twisted in my heart to see her so unhappy. I wish I could take her pain on.

The attorney clears his throat before beginning. “Luckily Jo had the wherewithal to have a will and power of attorney drawn up once Paul received his diagnosis. You two,” he looks at Eli’s parents, “will receive a hundred thousand dollars of her life insurance policy. Eli, you’ve been granted power of attorney for Paul and all decisions regarding his medical care and finances. The ranch,” he pauses for dramatic effect, “will be split between Eli and Luke.”

I look at Eli, who finally locks eyes with me. Tension builds between us as her anger rises.

“This letter is for you, from Jo.” The attorney hands a sealed letter to her as well as another folder. “And she also put thistogether with Paul’s help a year ago. They chose a care center for him, have prepaid for the first year, and worked out all the paperwork. He can move in whenever you need.”

Her eyes glitter with gathering tears, and she excuses herself, placing her papers down on the table and walking out onto the back deck. Her parents pay no attention to her as they whisper back and forth. I’m torn between chasing Eli down and keeping an eye on these two.

“When would that life insurance payout be?” her mom asks.

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