Page 75 of Promise Me Never

“No. I wouldn’t even know what to say to anyone else.”

“Thank you.” I slap my hand down on his shoulder. “We aren’t even telling her grandparents. I’d appreciate it if you kept this between us.”

“You’re lucky Sam was distracted by antagonizing your sister all weekend. Because if he found out, everyone would already know.”

He’s right. Sam is like a brother to me, but he’s the biggest gossip in High Point. I know if people found out I was seeing anyone, even very casually, there’d be talk about it all over town. I don’t want that. I was the subject of so much gossip following Amy’s death that I probably would have moved had it not been for Mom getting sick.

The sight of Eli walking toward me, swiping a tear away from her cheek, breaks me from my dark thoughts. I want to wipe the sad look from her face as she approaches, so I lift her into my arms and pull her flush against me.

“What are you doing?” Her eyes dart nervously from mine to Colt’s and then back again, even as her legs lock around my waist.

I gesture toward him with my chin. “He knows.”

“Everything?” I see the flush of heat starting at her chest and working outwards, just as it always does when I’m embarrassed.

“Not everything, but feel free to share the dirty details.” Colt’s tone is light and mischievous.

“No,” I say right before her lips meet mine.

She smiles as we keep the kiss light. Her arms wrap around my neck in a tight hold and she tucks her head in the hollow beneath my jaw. I never want to put her down.

“I love when you carry me like this,” she whispers as I begin following Colt back to the SUV.

I want to tell her I probably love it more than she does. If I could carry her around in my pocket, I would. But I hold back because even though I’m feeling this way, it doesn’t change the inevitable outcome of our reality.

She has goals and the drive to achieve them right now. I would never ask her to give that up. Even if she suggested it, I wouldn’t accept it. She’s talked about her future in a way I never did at her age.

She doesn’t drop her legs from my waist until I open the back door for her. I wait until she’s inside and buckled before closing the door and climbing into the passenger seat. While we did this, Sam and Janey were supposed to be getting the house all ready to leave. We’re driving through the night again, opting to take as much time here as possible even though tomorrow will be rough.

It doesn’t take us long to get everything loaded and the house locked up once we get back. Colt takes the third row for his power nap while I take the first shift driving. The girls take the middle row with Charlie laying between their seats.

Every mile closer to High Point brings a heaviness I wasn’t expecting. I overheard a conversation between Amber and Eli about when they can pick up the keys to their apartment. They signed their lease remotely to lock in their eighteen-month term. August first is when Amber will take possession and start moving her things in.

Eli has been talking about staying here until mid-August, but that’s still only a little over a month left. I told her this was temporary, and I meant it, but time keeps slipping through my fingers. I use the rearview mirror to look back at her while she sleeps, wishing I could just hit a pause button of the summer so we could just exist in a suspension of time.

I know as soon as we get back to the ranch, life is going to go full throttle again. There’s another cattle sale that Paul wants to take some of the herd to. It’ll mean being away from Eli for a couple days. I know she’ll want to spend most of that time with Jo, so I won’t even suggest her coming along.

On top of that, I’ve noticed Paul forgetting things that should be second nature to him. He’s getting older, though, so I guess it’s to be expected. No one else seems to have noticed, so I just have to keep a closer eye on him in the barn.

By the time I’ve finished my turn driving, my thoughts have grown into a tangled knot of anxiety. Eli still sleeps peacefully while Sam and I switch places. I have to fight back the urge to pull her into my arms and bury my face in her hair. Her embrace has already become a haven against the swirling darkness of my worries.

Twenty-nine

ELI

* * *

When I first came out here for the summer, I worried that time would pass achingly slow. The weeks since our trip to Jackson have flown by in a flurry of clandestine kisses and nights tangled in bed sheets. If Luke isn’t working or climbing the lattice to my room, he’s pulling me into corners of the barn or in the woods to make me see stars.

He’s taken a majority of my time and attention so, even though I’m sad he’s been gone with Grandpa for the last two days, I am happy to be able to get all this one-on-one time with Grandma. She’s currently got me in the kitchen while she teaches me how to make her chocolate chip cookies.

“You’ve been a lot of help this summer.” She cracks an egg and drops it into the creamed butter and sugar. “Both your grandpa and I are so happy that you’ve flourished here.”

“I’m a lot happier out here than I thought I would be.” I flush, realizing how that could be taken the wrong way. “Not that I wasn’t excited to be coming to stay with you. I just didn’t know what to expect.”

“I’m sure the way your father talks about growing up here didn’t help.”

“Yeah.” I don’t know what else to say. I hate talking about my parents.

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